Pop goes the weasel...Jack

Ok, as I was sitting here on the bed, reading The Pioneer Woman's blog.....
Pete scoops up our teenager manx cat Jack-a-poo-tee (as Lyndi calls him). He asks Jack how he got a plug taken out of his chest (because he is either a tough fighter or can't fight worth a lick). Jackapootee, obviously not liking that Pete was inquiring about his personal business, raised his paw and popped Pete right on the nose. Pete put him down and called him a son with no father!!! I still have tears in my eyes from laughing. Pete had a drop of blood on his snout. Now we know...never comment on a cat's war wounds...they dont like it!!!

Better Since I Left the Room!

So today my embalmer friend from the other day returned for another procedure. There is something about this fellow that I really appreciate. Maybe its his down to earth attitude and honesty. He just seems like a good guy.
After his procedure was complete I said, "Hey ______ you doing all right now?" He said,"Yea Marci, I actually started to feel a lot better once you left the room!".....WOW!!!! I told him that he was talking awful big now that there weren't any sharp instruments being pointed at him!! I had to laugh. I'm a big enough girl to take some ribbing. And I have to say that he didn't leave out of that office without hugging me bye and thanking us for doing a great job. So I didn't let it get under my skin. He was being rather brave making a comment like that to a woman that could be peri-menopausal, generally hormonal or pregnant!!! But I am definitely NOT pregnant should that horrifying thought even begin to cross your mind!!!!!!!
Then today I had a patient preface a question with," I'm going to ask you a personal question that you might think is me trying to set you up for failure." I went ahead and told her that the shorts she had on did NOT make her butt look big!! But what she really wanted to know was.....If getting rid of her spider veins was going to make her into a SEX KITTEN!!! Was her husband going to be harassing her and pawing at her? Hmmmmmm....I wasn't quite sure if she wanted to be pawed or didn't want to be pawed. You know how married women are.....either they are a sex kitten or they seem to suffer from recurrent headaches. She also wanted to know if the compression stockings she would be wearing might be a turn on for her husband......I'm like....Lady, I don't know your husband, he MAY just have a fetish for ladies wearing grandma style hosiery! Nothing surprises me anymore.
So I called my in laws tonight. My father-in--aw that's 71 answered the phone. I asked what he was up to and he said he was walking on his treadmill. I asked him how long he walked...30 minutes every single day!! How bout that? Grandpa totally shows me up on a daily basis!! I really need to get back to working out!! Maybe if I get back to working out....I too can be a SEX KITTEN!!
The patient that asked me about becoming a sex kitten was 51 years old. And my father-in-law (as I said) is 71. I am almost 37.....there is something really wrong with this picture.
These two separate incidents tell me couple of things:
1) Middle century, mature (my patient's wording) women think about being sexy.
2) My parents and everyone else's parents maybe having sex, thinking about being a sex kitten and have weird hosiery fetishes.........ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!

I WILL RISE!!!

Ok, its not even 9AM and I've been through about every emotion known to man...or woman...in my case!
This AM, Lyndi decided to have a falling out fit because her cereal wasn't in a BIG bowl. I'm sorry, I put it in a travel worthy bowl like I do EVERY morning when we have to eat on the run. But because I fell short of her expectations....since Pete was at home sick with the stomach yucks and I had to get Lila to school too.....she had to FALL OUT on the floor and practically be dragged to the car. Thanks to Pete for actually getting her UP in her seat and buckling her in...cause if I had to do it...I might have had to ___________ her (you can fill in any verb you can think of that semi-resembles torture).
So, once we got Lila to school, Lyndi asked me for the 1000000 time whether or not we were going to church tonight. She LOVES to go to church. And I LOVE that she LOVES to go to church. And what a sweet blessing that (despite the fact that she had a blooming fit at the house)she sat in the back seat singing to (at the beautiful tender age of 3)"I Will Rise" by Matthew West. She may not know what the words really, really mean YET, but she sang them with all of her heart. And I strained to hear her. I bet that God probably strained his ear a bit to hear her sweet little self singing HIS praises this morning too.
I would be so selfish to say that the blessings ended there for me....
While we were driving in, I thought that since I was running early that I should stop by and see my dad on the way in at work. For a moment I wavered on that thought. But then I drove up the drive to the shop. When I walked in I saw one of my dad's coworkers. I joked with him that if I called out "DAD", how many of the men at the body shop would turn around! I called "dad" and my dad did turn around! :) Along with about 3 others. But I wondered inside if my dad recognized my voice, the voice of his child that he had heard call his name for almost 37 years.
I told Dad that he needed to come out and see Lyndi. She loves her Papa so much!! She wanted to see him so badly. So he went out and hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. He stooped down and talked to her while she sat in her car seat. She didn't have a lot to say but I could tell that she was so completely crazy in love with talking to her Papa.
I asked Dad if he knew how his coworker David White was doing. David recently lost his 44 year old wife quite unexpectedly to Meningitis. Within less than one week, his wife went from having an ear ache to going to the hospital...to going on a vent...to being disconnected...to dying. They had (I think) 3 teenage children together. Dad said that he wasn't sure how he was doing since it had been a week since she had passed and he had not been back to work.
No sooner had we spoken of David and dad said,"Well here comes David now!" David walked up and I introduced myself. I hugged him and told him that we had been praying for him at our church in Comer. I told him that I was sorry for his sudden loss and that although we can not always understand why these things happen, God does have a great plan in everything. Across his face, there was a flash of sadness that was replaced with a gleam of pride and love. He told me that his wife, who had died before her time was a Christian woman who whole heartedly believed in God. She was a very good woman that was unselfish, always doing for others and was very kind. He knew where her heart was...with the Lord. I thought, what an awesome blessing to KNOW without a doubt that she BELIEVED. Not only did she BELIEVE, but she was a woman with a big, unselfish heart that did for others. He said that he thought he needed to get back to work and to move on into the next chapter of his life. And I knew what he meant. He needed to get back to DOING something so he didn't sit at home dwelling on his loss. He needed a distraction. But at the very least, he had peace in his heart. I am so grateful for him for that.
But then came an extra blessing for me. As I told my dad that I needed to go, I hugged him bye. When I hugged him, for some reason TODAY, it took me back. It took me back to all those years when I hugged my dad and felt that warm, cozy, comfortable love that I felt as a young girl...back when I was a true Daddy's girl. The warmth and safety I felt there....that I haven't felt in a long time...was THERE!! It was like having a renewed belief in the Santa Clause I believed in as a child. As we grow up and find out the truth about Christmas (and come to understand that we celebrate Christmas because of Christ and not because of the man in the red suit) and begin to forget the excitement and joy that we felt for the man we know as Santa....I felt that overwhelming joy and love for my Dad just like I used to feel for him like I did as a child. Not that I don't love my Dad now. I surely do...but to experience the same love as a child and probably just as Lyndi felt for him.....was a beautiful, sweet blessing.
As we grow up and grow older, we start to see our family members and parents for the true people that they are and not just as our sister, brother, mother or father. We learn about them as a provider, about their hopes, dreams and disappointments. We may even have hurts and disappointments tied to our relationships with them. But today, being able to see my Dad through the eyes of a child and not thinking about any other feeling but the love I felt for him really made my visit extra special. And knowing that David suffered a huge loss, his time with his wife cut short, made me recognize what a special gift I received this morning. And I am truly, deeply thankful for that!

Fun With The Dead

I really don't have a lot to say about "Fun With the Dead", but I had a patient today that used to be an embalmer...and it sounded like "back in the day" that he and his friends had a good time. Death can be such a depressing thing. All people that work around death and dying have to have a release. Humor has to be a daily part of a service person's life. Nurses, doctors, police officers, funeral directors and fire persons all have a heavy emotional load to carry. Maybe I need to add DFACS workers and counselors to that list too.
Understand this, my patient didn't necessarily have fun with the dead, but instead with the live folks that got the heeby jeebies being around dead folks. As a young 20 year old, I can still remember having to deliver flowers to a black funeral home. I had never really been around dead people much, let alone dead black people. If you have never seen a deceased black person....they do NOT look dead. When white folks die, they get a pale, grayish tint to their skin. If a white person doesn't appear gray, they look like manequins from all the pancake makeup. Black people, they retain the natural color of their skin. They actually just look like they are asleep. This is a very unnerving thing to many white folks. But what's funny to me is that many, many black people that I have worked with get really freaked out around people that are dead.
I remember a girl I worked with at a hospital. She was a 20 something black female, patient care tech. All day, we had been waiting for a patient to pass. This gentleman had been really sick for a long time. We knew that death was imminent. That tech would have walked to China to get take out if it meant that she could avoid having to go in and be around this patient that she knew could be dead. Once the patient passed, I thought this girl was going to have a heart attack. She begged and pleaded to not have to go into the patients room. Unfortunately for this tech, it was part of her job description to have to help prepare patients after ceasing to be of this world. I have to admit that inside I was giggling!! If that patient's hand had moved even one millimeter toward her because of gravity...she would have ran to China!!!
Speaking of the dead, Pete felt half dead today. Last night he came down with a very unpleasant stomach virus. Pete spent the evening running back and forth to the bathroom. The runs and vomiting pretty much ruined the hope of a decent night's sleep. He was achy and had chills. Tylenol has been his friend. Toast and chicken noodle soup have been his gourmet meals. Woohoo!
This year marks five years of nursing for me. This also means that one of my Federal loans gets forgiven. I couldnt be more thrilled about this major event. I also can not believe that this year marks my 5th anniversary of nursing. It seems so hard to believe that this much time could have passed. Now if I can just get the other school loans paid off....I'll be 52 years old when this happens....booo.
Lila told me tonight that I was the best mom in the whole world. Sorry ladies....I know you had hoped to get that award....but 2010 is MY year!!! Lila used to tell me almost every day that I was the BESTEST Mommy in the World. Then from about 6-7 yrs she kind of backed off from that....I wonder why???? hmmmmm Don't guess it had anything to do with me being a strict meanie? Oh well....Lila's a good girl most of the time...a little whiney and will cry at the drop of a hat....but sweet most of the time. I'm really glad that she loves me and appreciates me despite the fact that Im strict.
Can I just say it??? I love my family!

True Friends

From the time we are very young, we have to ask ourselves what characteristics we think it takes to be a good friend. What makes a person a true friend as opposed to an acquaitance? What is it that binds us to one another? What experiences, emotions, actions or conversations takes a person up to the level of friend?
I can say that I have friends that I have had from the time I was in 3rd grade. I am almost 37 years old and I am still friends with people that have known me for most of my life. Oh the changes our lives have gone through!!!
This weekend, Pete asked me what I had to call my friend to talk to her about. I told him that I didn't NEED to call her about anything. I called her because she is my friend. The difference between me and Pete is that there are people that I love and care about. I try to keep up periodically....sometimes pathetically enough...the conversations are months apart! But, I dont have to have a reason to call. However, in this friend's case, I know she is having a hard time and I wanted to call her and offer a little bit of support. That's what real friends do. Real friends reach out from time to time to check in and check on eachother. I don't know if men do this.
Men call eachother to see if they want to hang out and watch a game. Men call because their wives tell them they must...like telling them to call their mother!
I am not trying to say that men can't have REAL friendships.

The Book

Tonight was the first time in FOREVER that Pete and I got to go out on a date. My friend Jason was great enough to take on two MORE girls (ours + his) and let us have some grownup time! For that, I am very grateful.
We set off from Jason's house and went directly to Hobby Lobby...... Last night, I went to our church to try my hand at scrap booking with our pastor's wife and a few other ladies. I had a bit of stress to work through. I have to admit that scrap booking was rather therapeutic. So tonight I went and got a few supplies for me to use to finish working on Lyndi's baby album...you know, the one that I haven't ever gotten around to working on yet, despite the fact that Lyndi is now 3 years old! And just stuffing her baby pictures inside the front flap of the photo album doesn't really cut it huh?!!!
But our date did not stall out there!!! We had a nice dinner at Red Lobster. We got there about 5:30 so we were able to beat the real crowd!! whew! Then we went to see the movie "The Book of Eli". I really did not have any idea about what the story line was for this movie. I didn't know if it was a thriller, a drama, a comedy...whatever. I kind of figured from the death and destruction starting out that it probably wasn't going to be a romantic comedy. Although people did snicker during the first scene when Eli shoots a cat with a arrow...and makes dinner out of the kitty. But anyway.....
The movie was a good one, I think. It was thought provoking. I have some questions about it now that I've had time to think. Despite the fact that the main story line is that Eli has a Bible that he is trying to get to somewhere...and he will fight to the death to protect it...Eli doesn't really spend a lot of time talking about God. He mentions faith. He recites a couple of verses. Other than a few random mentionings of these things, that's about all of the religious topics put out there by the movie. I'm really kind of curious about that. Faith, prayer and the Book are mentioned. At one point Eli speaks the verse from the Bible that explains that we were made from dust and will return to dust.
As we were walking out, I kept wishing that I could know what others thought about that movie. What if many of the other viewers had no idea what the movie was supposed to be about, just like me? Were those viewers disappointed. Was the idea of God lost on them? Were they touched by God's word and power? Was a seed planted?
While walking out of the theater, I heard a young man behind us comment,"Man, that sure was cool when he smashed that guys head into the counter!!" I told Pete, "Sure, one could walk away with that message from the movie...or they could walk away with the message I got....(about God!!)" I think the whole concept was lost on that kid...or maybe he was just trying to seem cool in front of his friends, but secretly inside, he wondered about our Lord? I'd love to think that that was the case.
Too often these days, some people are trying their hardest to take God out of our lives. I read recently that educators in Texas were having to meet to discuss how they were going to write their history books. They were going to mention the creator of Mary Kay products. She was mentioned twice in a text book already. However, the conflict they were having was over how much they should mention about MLK's religious beliefs. Some groups that really believe in the separation of Church and State, felt like there should be no mention of the fact that MLK was a Christian. Also, they didn't think that we should mention any thing about our founding father's religious beliefs. They think that our founding fathers wanted to push Christianity. I always thought that our United States was supposed to be a place for religious FREEDOMS...we could worship polar bears if we wanted to...What do I know? But I do know this...MLK....he was Dr. Martin Luther King...the REVEREND Martin Luther King. His speeches were delivered to the congregation of his church and in other arenas. He was a Christian. Because of his Christian beliefs, that support peace, love and hope, he HAD A DREAM. But hey, if one person can go into the movie "The Book of Eli" and come out totally impressed that Eli smashed a guys face into a counter.....and I can leave out thanking God for being such an awesome, loving God.....Then, I can thank God that our founding fathers were courageous enough to separate from the Queen and create a New World where we have religious FREEDOMS!!

Food, Water and Shelter

Satan's demise

2010 begins. We are now 3 days into the new year. I'm asking myself what God has in store for me this year. What does he want me to do with his life. I say His life because really, my life is His. I don't know what I can do or would do without Him. Nothing would make sense I think. I would feel lost and alone.
This morning, at church, our Pastor used a smart analogy. He said that if a person stands in front of a drink machine and just stares at it, nothing happens. Only when that person puts his 50 cents in the machine does he get something out of it. He was saying that when we go to church and just sit there in the pews and don't ever put anything into our worship, we won't ever be able to get anything out of it. This is true about everything in our lives. Standing back and waiting for something to happen, will never bring anything to fruition in our life.
Our Pastor has a vision for our church. It is unbelievable how many non believers there are in our county. Never mind our whole nation. Just locally, only 30% of our population are believers in Christ. Broken down, that means that 8.7 people die every day in our county that are unsaved. How heart breaking.
Part of the vision for our church is that we become more involved in missions. Local missions, not foreign missions to start. There is a mission being put together by the Southern Baptist Convention to seek out souls in Atlanta. 90% of people in an area located near 285 are non believers. My guess is that life has become so overwhelming that people have lost sight of God.
Last year, Pete and I participated in AWANA. AWANA is a children's ministry. I never felt overwhelmingly compelled to teach AWANA. I participated and really appreciated seeing God move in a couple of the children's lives. But as far as whether I am called to work with children or not, I would say no. I prayed and prayed about it but never felt that God was leading me in this direction.
This year, I will be praying that God give me guidance as to whether or not He wants me to do HIS work in Missions. Does HE want me to go to Atlanta and be a part of this missions group? Only time will tell I suppose.
For now, I am grateful that I am one of God's children. I am thankful to be saved. I find great comfort and joy in being one of HIS. For now, I look forward to learning more about God's plan for me and my family. And I pray that God will use me for HIS good.
Sure sounds like a BIG way to start a new decade and new year!

Christmas Day 2009

It't hard to believe that Christmas is here...and almost outta here!!! It's been a fine holiday season. And I say season only for the purposes of mentioning that it lasts more than an EVE and a day! Back around Thanksgiving, we got our Christmas lights out on the house. I added a lighted star to my display this year and set out some lighted gifts. I like it. It's festive and but not over stated. What is it about some lights on a string that makes us feel so cozy and conjures up old memories of childhood?
As for Christmas gifting, I had all of my shopping completed by Christmas Eve. Really I had about 98% of my shopping done by then. Christmas Eve, we had a very enjoyable dinner with our friends Sherry, Chris and Lyle. Lyle, being 2 years old found the dinner to be boring but Lyndi's Thomas the Train figures to be the bees knees!!! I actually got to bust out and use my Christmas china and a fancy red table cloth (that I picked up at Dollar General for a mere $4.50!!!). I thought dinner was delicious...even if I did make it myself...well mostly anyway...I did pick up a couple of rotisserie chickens from the grocery store to help save on time!
This morning, the girls opened their gifts from Santa and checked out their stockings. My parents came over in time to have breakfast with us and to finish opening presents.
After lunch, I went by an old friend's house to see him and his parents. It was so surreal hanging out with them. I have known them since I was about 14 years old. Being 36 now, I probably wasn't hugely far off from how old they were when I met them! I brought Lila with me. I'm sure it was kind of funny for them to see a mini me as a child and me as an adult. It was weird for me...even if they didnt think twice about it!
Tonight we went to my parent's house and had dinner. My brother and his family were there. It was a great dinner and great company. I'm sorry to say that it had been a year since I had seen them last. I miss my brother and his family. I really wish that my girls had a closer relationship with their cousins. My brother lives near Warner Robins, GA. Its a pretty good trek to get there.
Although I had hoped that we would make it through the rest of this year without any more deaths of friends or family members, we found out today that Pete's Uncle Bill's wife, Julie, passed yesterday from breast cancer. She was Bill's second wife. His first wife passed several years ago, before I joined the Golden family. Julie was a very fine woman. I feel for Bill. I pray for him to be comforted at this time. What a tough thing to have to go through.
Tomorrow, will be Christmas celebration #3. This one will be at Pete's folks house. It's always a good time! We eat well...get to spend time with his sister and her family...and get to be with Pete's parents. It will really be a good time and I look forward to it!
I sure hope that all my friends and loved ones have had a nice Christmas. I am so greatful for our good Lord and his love for us. He has blessed us so much. He continually looks after us and guides us.
Good night all. My love to you and yours.

2009 Summary

Because it seems to be OH SO POPULAR to write a commentary summarizing the events of 2009 I will tackle this topic tonight to the best of my ability..... With that being said, let me also say this...I can't really seem to recall much of 2009!! So I can only begin to comment on what I do remember. Hmmmmm (straining actually to remember!!)
January: Began the term of President for Barrack Obama. That's all I'm going to say about that. If you want to know what he has accomplished or anything else...Google it your own self!!
Ummm, I think I also got my W-2 forms in the mail....at least by the end of the month. I think we got our return in February. I'm quite sure the money was spent before we got it. I know that some of the money went to pay off bills. WOOHOO!
April (I can't remember the other months before this month): I turned 36. This is probably the root cause of my poor memory. This was a tough birthday for me. I couldn't help but look at it as a quick, down hill slide into 40! I know, it sounds like whining...and what if I was about to turn 50 or 60??!! Whatever...my point is that I still have not been able to figure out what happened to 31, 32, 33, 34 or 35!!!! 36 wouldn't be so bad if I just could account for all of those other years!!
May, we celebrated Great Granny's 95th birthday! When a person is almost a century old, one should really be able to appreciate the mileage.
June: Pete turned 48. Talk about sliding into a new decade...50 is right around the corner! Which is such a wierd thought for me. When I met Pete, he was 38. And now, I am nearly the age he was when we met. Back in the day when we met, Pete was still red headed and not snowy topped. He has managed to age so nicely! MEN! They always have the prettiest eye lashes, fingernails and look oh so handsome with gray hair! Wrinkles give men character...we women...we just look prunish.
July.....uuuuhhhhhh Ive got nothing.
August: My mom turned 64. As she ages, I see more and more of her mom in her. Not just in physical appearance. The very things that used to drive my mom bonkers about her mom....she now chanels in her own being. For instance, my Granny used to have this thing about shoes. They couldn't put pressure on her toes or rub her corns. What is a corn anyway? And who thought of making a pad to cover corns? Anyway, my Granny used to worry over her shoes constantly. Now my mom worries over her shoes! Are the heels high enough? Is there enough arch support? I suppose that one day I too will be a shoe worrier. God help Pete and my girls!
October: My little Lyndi turned 3 years old. We didn't have a traditional birthday party for her this year. Instead, we took her to Chuck E Cheese's to celebrate her birthday and our neighbor friend's son's birthday...he turned 2! What a blast they had!
I was highly fearful that Lyndi would put us through H-E-double hockey sticks with the whole 3 year old thing...which is worse than the Terrible Twos by far!!!! But so far, despite having many tantrums and shouting "I'LL DO IT MYSELF MAMA!!", three really hasn't been so bad. Of course, that could be because we were beat down to the point of complete numbness from Lila being 3!!! I think I still have a twitch from that time period!
November: My stepson Grant turned 21! What a bizarre thing that was! When I met Grant, he was 10 years old. Now he is legal. I can not for the life of me figure out where all those years went!!!
December: I know it seems as though the year has centered around our birthdays...but I guess in many ways it has. But December was marked with a great loss too. Back in November, a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, Granny Morris became very ill. It seems odd to think that in May we had her home at her house to celebrate her 95th birthday. On December 2, Granny passed. It was a sad occasion and yet a joyful one. There was not a single doubt in any of our minds that Granny would be headed any where except to be with our loving Father in Heaven. What a tremendous blessing to KNOW without a single doubt that a person is going Home. To have such faith that a person is a Believer!!!
This month, on December 20th, Lila turned 8 years old. I feel certain that she grew several inches this year. She didn't grow out any though. Poor girl looks like we starve her to death. She wears a 7 Slim in pants with the internal waist band cinched down almost as tight as it will go!! She wears a size 2.5 shoe. And the best way I have been able to measure her is by judging her against my height. Before the summer, Lila came up to just below my chest. Now, Lila's head comes up to the top of my chest. Soon, Lila will be up to my shoulders!! *sigh* My "little" girl is growing up way too quickly. I often have to remind myself that she is still only a young child. She looks much too grown up and I have to tell myself to let her BE A CHILD!!
So here I am, 3 days before Christmas and wondering what in the world happened to the year?!! 2010 is knocking at the door. With it, will come 37 for me. And everyone else will eek closer to being grown up or over the hill!
Maybe this year coming up, I will be able to start a work out routine and stick with it. Maybe I won't work out really hard for a while, only to back slide because of some kind of injury, ache or pain! Maybe I'll lose the 12-15 pounds I packed on this year. And maybe I won't need to wear a tummy control paneled bathing suit to hide the aforementioned weight that I gained!!
This up coming year, maybe Lila and Lyndi will miraculously learn to get along with eachother......yea, I know...wishful thinking!!!
And finally, maybe this year I will be able to remember all the things that I had hoped I could!! Ok...now Im dreaming for real!~

I (heart) Mom

Tonight I was reminded of a situation that I was witness to a few years ago while I was in nursing school when I went and saw a friend of mine that was sick. I took her some chicken noodle soup to try to help her feel better. It's just what you do when people are sick...take them soup. Nothing has ever made me feel better faster than to have some homemade soup from my mom. I don't ever really get that soup anymore. Not now that I'm grown and married. But my husband doesn't make homemade soup...not the therapeutic kind that is meant for helping a person get well and back up on their feet.
But the point of this wasn't to discuss the power of homemade chicken noodle soup...despite the fact that Jewish women swear by it! Instead, this is about the nurturing, loving, healing powers of Mom. Not just my mom, but many, many moms. Tonight when I saw my friend, her mom was there at her house to help her out. Not to just help her with her child, as my friend is a single mom. But her mom was there to offer loving support that only moms and dear, dear people (usually women) can offer.
My friend commented that her boyfriend, although great, couldn't take the place of her mom. Her mom said that the boyfriend was really great and tried to really help out by cooking for my friend. His efforts, although appreciated, still did not measure up to my friend's mom's comfort. My friend added that she just needed her MOM.
So after this exchange between mother and daughter, I was reminded of when I was working on an oncology floor as a nurse extern in Macon. There was a lady in her 80's that was dying of cancer. When she came into the hospital she was talking and interacting. The cancer she had consumed her entire being quickly and she became virtually unresponsive to us.
As the patient layed there in bed, obviously not long from death, she began to call out softly. I thought perhaps she would call out for her husband. They had been married for 50-60 years. He was sitting at the foot of her bed. I thought that she would want the comfort of him holding her hand. But no. She called out to her mother, the same mother who had probably died 20 years prior to the patient's hospitalization. Over and over she called out to her mom and reached out her hand. Perhaps her mother was there with her to comfort her and we just couldn't see her.
From that time on, I began to appreciate the fact that no matter how old we get, we always want our mom. We want our comforter. We want the person that stays up all night and swabs our heads with cool washclothes when we have a fever. We want that person that kisses our boo-boos and tells us that it will be OK. We want that person that faithfully rocked us to sleep or soothed us when we were afraid of lightening.
Is there any wonder that one of the most popular tattoos of all time is the "I (heart) MOM" piece?
I feel certain that there are people out there that say that their mom was the first cousin to the devil. I know there are just some really bad parents in this world that deserve to be disowned. But I think that even deep down in the heart of that child (adult children too), there is still a deep desire to have whatever scraps of maternal love that is available from the one who gave birth to them or raised them. Its approval or acceptance I'm sure. And some times these moms fall way short. But, no matter what, if the situation was more ideal, that child would want to be with their mom.
So whether we are 2 or 87, when we hurt, when we cry, when we ache from within....we will call out to her...to mom...so she can kiss away our fears and wipe our tears away. We will hold out our hands so that we can be touched by her and comforted...even if she passed decades before and only our loving memory of her remains.

*caution* gloom and doom...with a chance of sunshine

Well its ALREADY the second day of October...the first day blew by like all the rest of the days of this year! With the start of October, the days have been cooler and seeming more like Fall! I'm thankful for that. I can not seem to dress appropriately though. Is it a short sleeve shirt day really? Is a thin jacket best? I have already started wearing my fleece pjs at night and socks. Crazy I know! Sleeping with the windows cracked makes for a chilly night when the temp goes down into the 40's!
My creative writing skills have been alluding me here lately. Someone asked me recently why I haven't been writing. I told her that I really just didn't want my somber moods to reach out and have an negative effect on some innocent readers life.
Please don't get me wrong, I know and appreciate that I am truly a blessed person. But because I am human, from time to time, life eeks in and gets me down. It does take a lot to get me to that point I think. The month of September was hugely stressful and full of uncertainties.
Because we spend some much time at work, it only makes sense that the dynamics of work can have a huge effect on a person's being. There has been a great deal of uncertainty with work. Right now we are undergoing some huge changes that have had all of us struggling and trying to deal with change. We are all thankful to be employed, especially in these times. However, because we are such a small group, emotions and moods can really end up being shared.
A dear friend of mine passed last month. He was at the center of all of the drama associated with the cancer treatment center where I used to work. His passing drudged up some old feelings I had from a couple of years back. There were a few days after his passing that really seemed to weigh me down. The upside to his passing was that he was such a great, God loving man! I rejoice in the fact that I KNOW where he is today! I am excited for him that he is now with our Lord.
This month, Lyndi, my sweet little girl, is going to turn 3 years old! I've been trying to think of what kind of celebration we should have for her. I hope the month doesn't slip by without plans being made. I'm in utter disbelief that my baby could possibly be that old! Sometimes when she laughs or cries, I can still hear that familiar baby sound in it. I still see traces of behaviors or actions that were there when she was a little baby. And yet, I am watching her grow up in height. I am listening to her speak words that come out of the mouths of a more grown child. Raising a child is so interesting, each day brings a new development.
I read recently that the unemployment rate is at 9.8%. The housing market has picked up some. I don't think that anyone is letting their guard down at this point. We are all kind of walking on eggshells waiting to see what Obama has planned for our healthcare and our financial status.
Did I happen to mention that we had over a solid week of rain??? It caused tremendous flooding around Atlanta and the surrounding area. It seemed to weigh on the moods of many of my friends as well! People were posting comments on Facebook right and left that they felt gloomy from a lack of sunshine! It seemed that our whole area rejoiced when we could all pull out our sunglasses once again!
I'm hoping that this month will begin an improvement in my mood and attitude. Perhaps it will be contagious too! Perhaps all the goings on will work out and we can all relax a little....unwind our poor nerves. Maybe I'll be able to take my writing skills off the shelf, dust them off and start a new chapter!

Not going through the motions anymore

Just when you think that today is going to be like any other day....God starts tapping you on the shoulder and speaking to you!
This morning on the way in to work, Lyndi was in the back seat babbling on about the world around us. I was thinking about work and all of its goings on. Then my thoughts went to my Dad. I don't remember exactly how it all played out but I felt like God really wanted me to think about my relationship with my Dad. I love my Dad very much.
Last night at church, we were talking about what it really meant to fear the Lord. Does the Lord really want us to be afraid of HIM? And most of us agreed that the fear we are to have is a healthy, respectful, awe of God. For many, they likened their fear of the Lord to the same fear they had of their Dad growing up. And this thought of course spurred me to think about my own Dad.
Growing up, I was always a Daddy's girl. I loved my Dad so dearly. But my Dad is/was a big man. I really didn't have to fear him causing me great physical harm. But what I feared the most was the thought of disappointing my Dad. I didn't want to let my Dad down. My Dad always showed me great love growing up. Stopping at this thought would make one think that perhaps life was grand and full of loving perfection. Unfortunately that wasn't the whole truth about our relationship.
My Dad, despite being a great person and a loving Dad has a bad habit. My Dad is a drinker. I don't even like to just put this out there for the world to know. The thought of someone judging my Dad based upon that fact breaks my heart. For decades I have prayed that he would stop. A couple of times he came close. Unfortunately, because of the stress of life and circumstances, he has not quit. I think that if all of the stress of work, bills and obligations were gone, he could stop. Otherwise, my Dad will drink until....who knows.
So this morning, the thought hit me. For years and years, I think that I had told myself that I would and could love my Dad MORE if he just quit drinking. I love my Dad in spite of his habit. However, I have had to build up a defense mechanism to protect myself from the heart ache of his behavior. My Dad doesn't behave well when he drinks. Not that he is physically abusive or violent. He just has too much to say and doesn't do it in such a kind way. At any rate, this has built up a huge wall in my heart.
When I drive in to work, I pass the driveway to where my Dad works. I always think, every day as I pass by that Dad's up there on the hill working. And the thought hit me...one day...who knows when...Dad won't be up there on that hill working. Waiting until my Dad stops drinking to freely love him and show him how I feel may never ever come. That time or opportunity may never come my way. How would I feel knowing that I held back because I hated the sin? I withheld love for my Dad. When really, my Dad needs to know how much I really love him. That knowing that he is loved and supported could some day help clear the cloud from around his head and allow him to let go of his habit and fears.
I decided that I will, despite how I might feel about his behavior, let him know that I love him and appreciate him and that I thank God for him. So, I picked up my cell phone and told him so. He seemed to be in good spirits. I thought, what IF that call helped him to have a better day? What if sharing, loving, supporting that person, any person, made the difference of a lifetime? What if?
Today I made the promise to myself that I was going to make a point of going out of my way to let my Dad know how important he is to me. That when the day comes that my Dad is no longer working up there on that hill....I will know that he KNEW how much I loved and appreciated him. Because honoring my Dad is what our Father wants us to do for HIM. God wants to be honored. And really, we all want to be loved, appreciated and respected.
After I got of the phone with my Dad, a song by Matthew West came on the FISH called,"The Motions". God is always talking to me through signs (literal ones sometimes), dreams and music. That song touched my heart so much. It brought tears to my eyes. I got the message today loud and clear. I had a great day at work.
Life isn't about going through the motions. God wants us to feel and to be joyful. God wants us to love and feel fulfilled. God wants us to not be numb to life and its experiences but to to see that he is there in everything and wanting what is best for us.
A dear friend of mine tells me that she wants to be able to take a pill so that she doesn't have to feel LIFE anymore. Life is tough. Life is painful sometimes. These things are true. But if numbness is all that a person feels...then the Joy that we feel when we know the Lord wouldn't be able to exist. Sure we know that God is there with us when things are going well. But when things aren't going well...how much sweeter can life get than to KNOW that God has his hand on those things and is the one in control. It's no wonder to me that when times are so tough that I think that I might not make it ONE MORE DAY...if I pray to God for peace and comfort...I get it. God taking control of our lives and our problems...there is no sweeter, more certain peace.
So today, I pray that I don't just go through the motions of life. I want to be PRESENT. I want to feel. I want to love. I want to LIVE.

With Joy

Tonight Jerry sat there in his chair, tears were welled up in his eyes. It would be a couple of minutes before an uncontrolled tear would begin to fall out of his eye, to be swept away with his hand. His nose pinkened slightly. Those tears, usually reserved for sadness, were not for such at all...in fact, that tear was for his Dad. Jerry's Dad is a man of joy. Jerry says that despite diabetes and an array of other such debilitating diseases, his Father is a man of extreme, constant JOY. He said that his Father was an Ecclesiastes 12-13 man.

"I know that here is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in ones lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks see good in all his labor it is the gift of God."

I thought it sort of ironic that Jerry felt in such awe over his Dad being so joyous when Jerry too is a model of joy and ever faithfulness to us all! Jerry sat there speaking of his Dad in his chair...his WHEEL CHAIR . The wheel chair that he has been bound to and dependent on for decades since a football injury rendered him a quadriplegic. If the story ended with Jerry as a young man, battling inner demons for being cursed to a wheel chair for the rest of his life, we all might think that anyone could feel at least some bitterness for that to happen. Not Jerry. I'm not saying that Jerry hasn't probably had moments of sadness and grief. Who doesn't? But to talk to Jerry, one only hears of his love for his Lord and for his family.
Why is it that a person who is completely able bodied would feel inclined to go to someone like Jerry for advise and hope? Because Jerry is a very wise, God fearing man that has known God's greatest mercies and love and is not ashamed to share his experiences.
Jerry, although he has been limited physically to an extent, has managed to complete college, develop a wonderful ministry where he teaches teenagers at a private school, he is married and has two very beautiful children. Jerry has been blessed a million times over and he KNOWS IT! To see Jerry talk about his Faith and to share the Word of God is truly a treat! It will only take just a minute before the widest grin flashes over Jerry's face, expressing the great JOY that he has for the Lord!
One day, I can see Jerry's son or daughter speaking to a crowd, sharing the Word or their testimony and also expressing the admiration that they have for their Father Jerry, who always had the greatest smile on his face and WORDS of JOY to share! They would say that Jerry was an inspiration to them and to anyone that came in contact with him. They would feel a great sense of fulfillment when they could add that their Dad was one of the greatest examples of a Christian that they knew. They too will have tears well up in their eyes and in only a minute, one will begin to fall.

Catching up

It's seems to me that life is full of catching up! You can "catch up" with old friends..We have to get caught up on house work...Catch up on reading...We need to get caught up on things that are important. Its a never ending process of catching up. Its a state of being really...for me. For us. It doesn't seem that its ever something that is attainable. What would I do when I did actually catch up??? Die?
I haven't been such a great blogger as of late. I guess I need to catch up on that too. So I will try to bring everyone up to speed on my latest adventures, thoughts and meanderings.
I'll start with my least favorite subject of work. Work is what it is. I'm so grateful to have a job and be able to pay bills. I am like most people, under payed for the service, knowledge and ability that I bring to my job. I'm currently in a 3 month battle over getting paid for a day that I had to be out with my sick child. According to our work policy, if an employee works any part of the day they had to go home, they have to be paid. Well the powers that be, decided to be creative and consider it an UNEXCUSED ABSENCE....something that was not part of our policy. Well, after a bit of discussion, the powers decided that it wasn't fair to decide not to pay me...but I still haven't been paid. There is a WHOLE lot more involved and more stinkiness connected to all of this...but it makes for a sad employee. I'm not feeling the love right now. I'm hoping that this will all change.
The unfortunate thing to me is that when you have a job you love, its like any relationship...it seems that over time, things begin to change. "The honeymoon is over" sort of thing happens. Reality sets in. And its not that I don't still love my coworkers and my patients. Its just that my feelings have been hurt and the great pride I used to feel about my job....well...its been taken down a notch or two. Too bad they don't have work counselors like they have marriage counselors!! And please don't suggest to me that our HR person is the one that is supposed to handle this sort of thing......
Well, in true Marci form, I did it again!!!! This weekend, we (work) had a booth at a maternity fair. It was kind of neat getting to see all the cute little babies being toted around, some in slings and some in strollers. New mommies and mommies to be, paraded around, looking so content and happy! I love that. I don't miss that...but I love that! I didn't envy the cutie little mommies-to-be waddling around. Bellies poked out in all sorts of manners. Some looked like basketballs, some like oblong watermelons, some like little round pillows all out in front. Too cute. I didn't feel cute like that toward the end of both of my pregnancies and I WAS NOT cute in the last couple of months of my pregnancies!
But back to what I said that is so typical of me:
This little Mama was walking around carrying her almost 2 year old son, strapped across her in a sling. The little fellow was zonked out, oblivious to all the other screaming children and cooing mommies. His mom seemed to be a pro at toting her little man on her right hip. And as I found out after inquiry, she was pregnant with baby #2. WOW! Carrying at toddler and an unborn child....Daddy standing there with her....holding nothing.....
So I said something like,"Wow I bet carrying that baby around on your mommy hip that its probably caused you to walk bent over to one side all the time..." She replied,"No I just have scoliosis." As my buddy Steve said--Open mouth...insert foot!
Huh...well scoliosis will sure do that. I tried to recover by telling her that she should move him to the other hip to balance things out. Ok, so it was time to be packing up and taking myself to the house...but alas, I had a couple of more hours to go. A couple of more hours that I'm sure my salaried status won't be paying me for.
The other night, I was so in hopes of signing on to my blog to share the most awesome news I have heard recently...there has been a lot of really great news and praises amid all the stress and chaos of this life. But my computer and email account just wouldn't allow me to get on here to share the GOOD NEWS! So instead of a beautiful, elaborate story, I will keep it simple!
My friend Kitty, who is a single mom and has had to be creative in holding the household together (lately) financially...had multiple answered prayers! She got a small raise at work...but then another door opened that would allow her part time work with good pay! How AWESOME! Will she be "well to do" now? No, but God has shown her time and time again that he will provide for her and all of her needs as he sees fit. It has been so awesome to see how God has worked in her life! I really am in awe time and time again. God does answer prayers!! And just at the right time too.
Time, this thing that eludes most of us...thus we spend all of our time catching up....is an interesting thing. Tonight we went to dinner with some friends of mine that I knew from my teenage years. There we were, both couples married and with 2 girls. I remember going to their wedding! How neat to see each other, hairlines, facial lines and waist lines in slightly different spots than they once were! And how much wiser and more seasoned we all are! It was really great! It blows my mind to think that the last time I saw them, I was well over a decade younger. One whole decade. Almost two! Where does time go? I guess it goes wherever my waistline went and my nerves ran off to!

The Only Thing

I heard this song the other day on the radio and I was struck by the truth of what it said: The only thing good in me is Jesus. The first thing that came to my mind is that I am a good person...right? But then I thought, I am my best because I have given my life to HIM. I am a nurse because I was called to care for others. I help people as often as I am able because I feel like this is my way to honor God. Sure I am a good person, I am tender hearted and love PEOPLE. But I think that I am good or give my best to honor HIM.
That being said, I cant tell you how many times I sort of cringe when someone goes on and on about appreciating what I have done for them. Many times, I honestly, consciously do things because I think its the right thing to do. I am in no way perfect. I am not always unselfish. I am not always kind. I am not always happy. I do not always do or say the right things. BUT when I do something that is right and in accordance with God's Word, HIS Grace shines through...that's what that person is seeing.
This verse sums it up: If you could walk the hallways of my heart. And see things as they really are. I wonder if you might be surprised. Seeing faded walls of pride and fear. Rooms I've filled with faithless tears. And corners where I've stood in compromise. But you'd see the work His grace has done. You'd know just how far I've come.

I think back over the years of my life and I feel really good about some things I've done. But those not so great moments, actions or the poor decisions I made glare out at me. When I look back on those times, I don't feel that that sickening, sinking sensation that I used to feel. I have already been Forgiven for all that. However, I know to completely forget all of those life lessons would be foolish in my opinion. Dwelling on the past is another foolish decision. So, if I choose to take a look at some of the negative things of my past, I have to think, "what did I learn from that? How did God use this for good?" I have learned some really great lessons! Too bad I can't pass all this wisdom on to my children and have them just "take my word for it".

I have come such a long way. Back when I was 12 years old I was baptized for the first time. And I say for the first time because I was baptized again when I was 18. Truly, I would not mind being baptized AGAIN! Not that baptism MAKES you a better Christian. I would just like to publicly show that I have TRULY given my life to Jesus. When I was 12, I don't think I REALLY could grasp what it meant to have a relationship with God. When I was 18, I definitely believed that Jesus died for my sins, but I still didn't have that close personal relationship and FAITH (as I know it now). I surely had not realized that talking the talk, meant walking the walk.

After many trials and tribulations that I have had over the last handful of years, I think that I have become so much more committed to my relationship with God. I was spiritually broken and in some ways physically and emotionally broken as well. I was as low as I think I could get. I don't ever want to have to know if there is an EVEN LOWER point than the bottom that I met. Through my darkest of days, I prayed. Through the brighter days I prayed and thanked God for the glimpses of light. Through the much better days, I have seen how God has USED the darkness in my life to help others and to be a more loving, compassionate person. Hundreds of times, I have encountered people with similar issues that I experienced. I have been able to hold hands with people whose pain reeked out from their very pores. Pains that were not just physical but emotional and spiritual. I thanked God for giving me a heart and experience.

When I went through my darkest days, I NEVER thought that I would ever be grateful for having to claw my way out of the pit of despair. NEVER. NEVER. I never thought that all the tears I shed would ever be used to help quench someone else in their moments of despair. NEVER. But, again I say that I do truly believe that the Only Good in Me is Jesus. Without the Grace and love of God and his Holy Son, I would still be writhing in that pit. I would not have had hope. I would not have had peace. I would not have had loving support. No one PERSON could have pulled me through. Only God's Grace truly saved me.

A non-believer might read this and say, "This chick is diluted and crazed." And I would say to a non-believer,"I don't care what you think or say or do...I know where I came from, I know that my heart and my entire life has been changed because of my FAITH. And I know that when I cried out to Jesus to help save me....I was saved and had peace. This is not the kind of peace that is just quiet emptiness...this is an overwhelming knowledge that God was with me and that He would carry me through all of this....and He did!" I have felt pain, loneliness and anguish. I have thought that there were days that I would be better off dead. BUT...when I prayed...I didn't hurt so much. I didn't feel hopeless. I didn't think that an empty death was the answer. I found my relationship with Jesus. And if this doesn't sound cool or sounds weak and pathetic....that's what I used to be. But as I said before, no person, no judgemental PERSON could have ever saved me or given me peace. A non-believer can only wonder if what I am saying is true. A Christian would say, "Thank you Lord for your love and Grace. Thank you for making the only thing good in me, your Holy Son."

THE ONLY THING By Ronnie Freeman
I heard someone say the other day.
They'd seen in me true love displayed.
Blessed by something I had done for them.
No sooner had they said these words.
I found myself somehow disturbed.
Uneasy as I took their compliment.
Cause I know the heart inside this man.
I know the truth of who I am...

(Chorus)The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
I know me well enough to know.
No matter what this life may show.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
If you could walk the hallways of my heart.
And see things as they really are.
I wonder if you might be surprised.
Seeing faded walls of pride and fear.
Rooms I've filled with faithless tears.
And corners where I've stood in compromise.
But you'd see the work His grace has done.
You'd know just how far I've come.
In a thousand years.
When the dust of this world clears.
And I look back on my life.
And see in perfect light.

(Chorus)The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
I know me well enough to know.
No matter what this life may show.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
I know me well enough to know.
No matter what this life may show.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

Excuse me, is that a donut on your hip?

Some time ago, I thought I was ready to take on the WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE! For some strange reason (be it hormones, thyroid or too many sweets) I have gained several pounds in the last 6 months. For my entire life (meaning after 15yrs old) I have always weighed 136lbs. I am almost 5'8". To look at me now, you would never guess that I weigh 151.9 lbs. Anyone with any kind of waist line would look at me and scoff. Well, scoffers....you just scoff away!!! I am just as tired of my extra weight as anyone else!!! I carry all of my weight right in the front...probably because that is where my babies stretched my poor precious belly skin out like a large basketball. My legs....alas, will always be chicken legs. I am really ok with that. Its the rolling belly that reminds me of the foothills of the Appalachian that bothers me. My stretch marks might make too good a trail for hikers.
This morning, I awoke at my usual time (but actually got out of bed this time!) at 0630hrs. I got dressed in my cycling garb and hit the bike trainer. I actually rode for 17 minutes. That's 2 whole more minutes than I had planned on riding. Honestly, I didn't get my heart rate up much. But the truth is, that I just wanted to get my joints and muscles used to repetitive rotations of the pedals. And believe me, all parts of my legs and feet groaned!!! But soon I was spinning.
I have been watching what I eat for a few days. The weekend kill me. Pete isn't the most healthy of eaters....pizza, bacon...whatever is good for clogging arteries. Of course he didn't force me to eat any of it...I'm WEAK!!! But in the mornings I have been so good! I have had yogurt and a breakfast bar. Part of my problem is that I get to where I feel like I am going to die about 10:30AM. My breakfast had worn off. So then I have to snack. I have been picking healthier snacks lately (a protein bar and some blue berries today)...but it hasn't always been this way for me. Those bite size candy bars...that which we give to our patients to show our love for them...too easy to snag for a quick PICK ME UP! Evil things!
This evening, I came home, ate spaghetti with meatballs for dinner. I had a Healthy Choice or Lean Cuisine for lunch...butternut squash ravioli...very tasty!! At any rate, after I ate, I felt like I needed to get in some more exercise time. We are all supposed to exercise a total of 30 minutes a day.
I asked Pete to hook up the pull behind trailer for Lyndi. Lila grabbed her bike (after much whining and crying about her helmet not doing right). Off we went on a Tour de Comer! Riding with a whiney 7 year old that insists that her life is miserable and she just cant do it is not really my idea of family quality time. But we all made it back home alive!!! Lila only cried 3 times during the whole jaunt. We rode for 40 minutes. I think I pedaled about 20 minutes of those 40! It was actually more painful trying to ride slow than it was to actually get out and ride!! But if I was able to burn at least one calorie....such is life huh?
So enough of what probably sounds like a bunch of fussing and whining on my part! I need to be accountable to someone! I'm hoping that perhaps getting the word out that I am tired of toting around my tube will keep me motivated. Plus, a friend of mine has asked me to consider doing a triathlon. I stressed my extreme concern over not being able to swim very well...she said I could swim in her family's pond. Reckon the bottom is all mucky and has weird creatures lurking in the mud?Hmmm?
Me a triathlon? A TRIATHLETE? That sounds really cool. Maybe I will be able to do it. Maybe I wont. But I am considering it. I have friends that have done such things. I also have friends that run marathons. Is it too far out to think that I could participate? We will see. Today is day ONE for me. I hope I make it to day TWO!! I mean day 22! :)

This and That

How about a little collective randomness? It's all I have to offer tonight. I used to have things to rant about.....Just having a complete thought these days...hmmm...
So, I'm completely burned out on hearing about the death of Micheal Jackson. I'm so tired of it, that I prefer to only speak of this individual (if I have to say ANYTHING at all!!) as MJ. When MJ died, several other famous individuals passed within days of the "Kind of Pop." Not much was said about any of those other famous people. What a shame too. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Karl Malden (one of my favorites!!). I will never forget Farrah's performance in the movie "Extremities"! What a hard core stalker film! Farrah ends up showing her stalker who's the boss...a fire poker and bug spray in the eyes will get them every time! It was a thriller to say the least! Of course, there is the Charlie's Angels show...the greatest memory I have of that was the hair. I was so young then. I'm not going to begin to pretend that I remember a lot about it. I was more impressed with shows like CHIPS or EMERGENCY! Go figure! For a girl like me to remember hot law enforcement and EMS folks over a bunch of hip hugger wearing chicks!
This weekend we went to pick up our girlies from a week long stay at Grandma's house in Augusta! It was a long hard week for me. They drive me absolutely nuts when they are home, but it hurts my heart to have them away from me! Lyndi was thrilled beyond belief to see me! There is nothing better! Lila was excited and very loving...she sat with me a lot this weekend and scratched my back for me. She is such a love bug. Too bad she is bossy and rude to her little sister a lot of the time. They could be so good for each other! Best friends for life! Maybe one day!
But let me say that Grandma worked a miracle for us this weekend!! Lyndi has been paci FREE for one week! Tonight when she went to bed, she didn't even ask for it! She did hem and haw a good bit trying to get settled back into her own bed and room, but WHO CARES?!! SHE DOES HAVE A PACI!!! I was really beginning to think that she would be walking down the isle with her "Fassi" in her mouth...teeth all jacked up from having gnawed and sucked on that thing for too long!! Thank YOU GRANDMA!!! You may only have one nerve left in your who body after their visit...but you went the extra mile for us!
Tonight we met our new neighbors...all three! They seem like nice people. He is the new principle at the High School and she is an elementary school teacher. Their little girl is Lyndi's age. I had visions of those two growing up and getting into trouble with each other. I hope that's how it works out. I know that principles can be a lot like pastors and have short stays. Maybe they will call this their home for good. The principle told my girls that they could come over and play ANY TIME.....I told him that I thought he might come to regret that invitation, as my girls will probably drive them nuts. On the way over to their house, toting a plate of hot brownies and butter pecan icecream...Pete said that he thought we should go over and give our condolences to them...for having US as their neighbors! I promise, right here and right now...that I will TRY not to bug them or allow our children to bug them....too much! I doubt if they will ever hear a peep out of Pete. Not unless the principle decides to take up cycling as hobby!
Speaking of Cycling....I'm a cycling WIDOW this week! The Tour de France started up again! I could have sworn that it usually took place in April..but BEHOLD its in July! Pete even upgraded out tv selections so that he could watch it! Mr. Tightwad came off some money...for the TOUR. Hmmmm He reassured me that we will also be getting several other movie channels too....not that that makes a hill of beans when he is vegged out in front of the TOUR every evening taking up every opportunity to watch some fabulous other show or movie...RIGHT?
So I've broken 150 I think. 152 on Pete's mom's scale. I think that Augusta has more gravitational pull there. So I dont know that that was correct. However, I will say that it appears that I have regressed to being 7 months pregnant...at least in my own mind. I asked Pete to set my bike up on the trainer. I am thinking that I might want to start getting up at 6AM to work out. Wonder how long that will last? I've got to do something. 40 is coming on me fast! I have heard from several people that at 37 something really bad goes wrong with a woman's metabolism...why at 37 I dont have a clue...IVE GOT TO DO THIS THANG! I'd hate to have to bust out some maternity wear just cause I can't put down the sweet tea and biscuits!
Anyway, as a final sort of note...I found my dream car. Its a GMC (Government owned Motor Corp according to Pete) Acadia. I saw one this weekend. It has all the bells and whistles I have been dreaming about...and space. It seats 7. It has two captain's chairs in the middle and a bench in the back. It has a drop down DVD player. Can you say SWEEEEEETTTT??? The only problem that I have with it...the model I looked at was about 44k. Can you repeat after me..... OUCH!!?? So Ill be dreaming a little while longer on that one I guess. I sure do wish that I could win the lottery! We keep forgetting to play though...that doesn't help!
AWWWW and I thought I was at my last point...Im not. I have to say that I am SOOOOOO thankful to our GOOD LORD that he has blessed my friend Shannon Reid with a healthy, sweet, baby girl named Kylie! Shannon had open heart surgery while we were in NURSING SCHOOL! Yep she fell out right there on the Cardiac floor while we were having clinicals...how appropriate! So after having had open heart, gall bladder removal and a cardiac ablation for SVT (just like her sister Marci!!!)...she was able to have a child! Thank you GOD! AND some more AWESOME news!!!!....Missy and Marty (from Church) are having a baby BOY! Missy had had the most unfortunate experiences with losing 3 pregnancies...and God has blessed them with this fine little boy! I can not WAIT for him to come into this world! Thank YOU AGAIN LORD!
Can I just add one more thing??? Yeah I know, I dont write in ages and then I write a novel....I took some cold medicine so I guess my brain has decided to start working....no more pressure from my ears CLOSING IN ON MY THOUGHTS!!!
Anyway this final thought (for real!). While were were in Augusta at the river, waiting to see fireworks, something very interesting happened. We were sitting in the ampitheatre waiting (and waiting and waiting) to see the display....the girls were climbing all over the bleachers playing....up and down and back and forth.....When these two men came and sat down next to us. Now understand that there was plenty of room around and there was no need whatsoever for them to sit next to us...but these two men came and sat down from me about 5 feet. Those two men creeped me out. I instantly felt kind of sick to my stomach. I felt nervous and anxious. I felt something coming off of them that made my flesh crawl. And Lila suddenly said "Mama, I want to go!" She instantly moved away from them. And I added that I TOO WANTED TO LEAVE!!! And those two men got up and left! I asked Lila why she wanted to leave. She said that those men made her feel weird. After they left, I felt fine and Lila acted fine. It was the strangest thing. But I explained to Lila that if she EVER felt like that again, she needed to get away. God blesses us with intuition for a reason. And the thing is that those men weren't dirty or dressed in an unusual way...but something about them SCREAMED OUT at me and Lila!!! I told Lila that if she ever felt that way again, she should tell me. My radar was working and so was hers but if for some reason my radar was down, I wanted her to tell me. Always trust your instincts...ALWAYS!

Church dodgers

This past Sunday....yep we layed out of church! I know, I know what you might be thinking...we are Heathens....or are we really??? According to my beautiful seven year old that is hugely wise beyond her years...we most certainly ARE NOT! And let me say this: If the only thing in life that I ever teach my children, it what Lila had to say...then I have done an incredible job!
Sunday, instead of going to church, we went over to our neighbors house (along with a few other of our neighbors...what awesome souls they are!!) and helped clean up several fallen trees in our neighbor's yard. If you have ever had a tree cut down by a tree service, you know that they charge hundreds of dollars to come out. Well, I don't know about you, but we don't have hundreds of nothing just lying around...except maybe bills and fire ants!
Anyway, not trying to brag or anything but when we got those trees cut up and burned...her backyard was a vision! She was so proud and so grateful! She of course said that she would do anything in the world for all of us to repay us...but the truth is...there is no debt to be paid!
Well, after me telling a certain person that I may be married to...who will go nameless in THIS BLOG....that we were going to be doing this clearing on Sunday...this person said that it sounded too much like WORKING on Sunday..and we aren't supposed to WORK ON SUNDAY!! Protest as this person may...this person had to get the chainsaw and GET TO WORK!!! So I told Lila to repeat what she said to me to this person...that might be related to her and resemble her very own dad...AND THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID (Remember please that she is 7):

Daddy, its ok that we aren't going to church today to learn about God...we are going to go help someone and do what God really wants us to do...by helping others!

And what can a person say against that? God does not live within the four walls of the church. He tells us to "Love our neighbor." And unfortunately Sunday was the only day that all of us could get together to help out.

Does this mean that every Sunday we will do this...no. But since Pete and I can't help people financially or fix their cars for them or file their taxes for them...whatever...this is what we CAN DO. We had the time, the chainsaws and the physical strength to do it. Unfortunately for our neighbor, she wasn't physically able to handle this type of job and didn't have the tools to do it.

I'm so glad that we got to help out. I find tasks like this to be very gratifying. I know that this "good deed" isn't going to move me up a few notches en route to Heaven. I relish in the thought that I don't have to do good deeds to get to Heaven, Jesus has already paid the price for me to get in! But I do feel so good helping others, loving others and being able to SEE the fruits of our labor!

You know, I always have really appreciated random acts of kindness. Our neighbor never asked us to help her...we volunteered! We called and told her that we were going to and she accepted! :) We knew she had a need. I would love to challenge anyone that if you know of a need and it's within your means or capability....just do it! There is nothing more personally rewarding! And I know that's selfish thinking...but it just tickles me to death to think that we were able to lessen her burden!! Would we not want someone to come along and help us carry our burdens, randomly without having to ask? or beg?

Hold a door for someone, pay a tab or bill, pick up dropped papers, cut someone's grass, offer to walk a person's dog, cook a meal, paint a picture or just stop by and say hi....random acts of kindness can change a person's outlook on their day or on their whole life. I have heard stories of people, teetering on the edge of life...planning to take their life...and some person shows them just a bit of kindness and the hopeless person sees that their life is worth living and that they are worth being here on this Earth!

Pay it forward please!

What a truck load!

This past weekend, Pete and I went and looked at trucks. He drives a smaller truck that has a V8..which is fine for pulling our camper....BUT a larger full size truck would pull our camper much smoother and with less effort! So we went to 2 different places looking. We compared to two largest competing American made trucks. We were really liking both makes pretty well!
But then when it came down to the money issue....We fell in love with the moderately priced version of one truck....til it all came down to the payments.
The sales man, after coming up with the payment figure kind of seemed to hesitate for a minute or two, trying to find the best delivery for what he had to say......
"I'm thinking that it would come out about, maybe it would be about, its looking like..."
WAIT FOR IT>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"7 and a quarter a month!" HUH? I think I yelled out "STANK!!!!" Pete's face took on the most contorted sort of expression I have ever seen! I had to actually laugh out loud! There was no poker face to be found in the room!!! SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE FREAKIN DOLLARS A MONTH! And that was a rough estimate! Maybe about 400 too rough! *sigh* We would be leaving that beauty in the lot!
Pete said once we got back in his truck...that after $725 a month, his little ole truck didn't seem so terrible after all! It pulled the camper fine, drove fine and was just generally fine over all!
Our first house payment in Milledgeville wasn't even that much!! And as far as I saw, there wasn't any indoor plumbing in that truck!!!
So which brings to mind something.....
Take a good look next time you are riding down the road! How many big old pick up trucks do you see? THOUSANDS around this town! And lots of them are brand spanking new! How do people afford those things? I realize that business owners use them to haul and such....But the average Joe? How does he feed his kids, have a mortgage and drive a big truck? And Im not talking the used trucks! I realize that you can get a pretty good deal on a middle decade truck with some mileage on it. Im talking about 2009 or 2010 CREW CAB, full bed pickups.
Anyway, we will have to wait on that! Hopefully little ole Blue will hang in there for us! All of our neighbors say that they know when Pete is coming and going! Our neighbor across the street said that she used to judge what time she needed to have her child ready for school by when she heard his truck!!! OH ITS LOUD! AND NOT BY OUR CHOICE! Someone thought it would be a good idea to put loud mufflers on it...I guess if they couldnt have a big truck, they would at least make it sound like a big truck!