Spring Break 2010

I am currently sitting before a glowing pit of fire. Literally. Pete and I took the girls camping at Fort Yargo State Park for the weekend. Tomorrow we head back to Comer town. It has been an interesting few days. As usual per our camping trips, we had rain off and on. When it wasn’t raining, the sun shined and the GREAT winds blew. While roughing it here in the woods, I headed to civilization and HAD to visit the local Target. I bought the girls kites to fly in the great gusts. Naturally after making such a purchase, the GREAT WINDS weren’t so stinking great. And since Lila really believes (even at the age of 8) that we have control over things like the wind or sunshine, she began to fuss and complain that everything was just miserable for her and she seemed to blame us for her misery. Ahhhhh….another day in paradise!


Saturday we made a trip into Winder to take a gander at the offerings of the awesome Akins vehicle dealer. Driving up on the lot, you expect to hear trumpets sounding or an orchestra playing some tremendous overture to express the fantabulessness of the place! Ahhhhhhhhhhh….. They had the standard four door family rides (sedans). The ever so necessary family vans (filled with DVD players and playscapes I’m sure). Then they had the “I’m obviously a single person’s” two door, sporty rides. But what we wanted to gaze upon was the suped up, jacked up, toughened up, hard working, load totin, pick ups! For a mere 50k, a person could come away from there with the ride of a lifetime. Of course, in our case, it would take a lifetime to pay for one of those lot items. But we love to look. We actually have to carry tissues with us to wipe the drool away (and the tears when we hear the prices).

Pete having a spine of steel, test drove a Ford F250 diesel. From the moment he fired the engine up and that truck began its hypnotic rattle-rattle-rattle, Pete’s eyes got this glazed look about them. I could tell that even though he was present in body, his mind was elsewhere, realizing that all of his dreams had just come true just firing that behemoth up! And for a mere 36k for a 2 year old truck with 60 something miles on it (baby stuff for a diesel), Pete could have his heart’s desire. And how that man was able to walk away from that truck and maintain a poker face, I will never know. I imagined that I had a constipated look on my face when Pete told the seller of his dreams that he was “just looking” and walked away. It PAINED ME!

I ‘m not the kind of person that has to lots of “things”. I don’t have to have the latest and greatest gadgets, the fanciest clothes or many other things….but I wish that I could have gone in their office, plopped a price down on the table, written them a check and handed Pete the keys. Quite honestly though, our first house cost us $76, 500. It was a beautiful, cozy cottage. That truck was half the price of our first house! I bet the payment on it would have been just as much as the house, maybe more.

While we were there at that dealership, a flat bed truck came in with a delivery of a car. Seeing that car and hearing the engine roar, caused a bit of a rumbling in my inner being. I felt a rare sort of excitement that I don’t feel often. The car was a real beauty….a 2011 Ford Mustang Cobra. It had slick tires and was a true racing car! It had the racing seats with 5 point restraints and a cage. When that car came off the truck and roared, every man in ear shot of that thing came out to see what that stirrer of primitive emotions was….it was HOT! Girls, I don’t think that a half naked woman walking through the parking lot would have grabbed as much attention as that car did. Grrrrrrrrrr

Today, the Great Winds blew again. The girls got to fly their kites. Lila finally was able to come out of her misery. Her life wasn’t ruined after all. They had a good time running back and forth along the shore line of the lake. It was a good time.

Tonight we had the fire of all fires. Pete has really come into his own with fire building. When we first married, he didn’t have all of the skills that he has seemingly mastered over 10 years now. It was a nice warm fire. Lightening and clouds threatened us in the background. The fire bugs, Lila and Lyndi, had to poke and prod at the flames and coals. Iris just laid off to the side and watched over all the festivities. Lyndi spent some time sitting in my lap, asking me to sing MY song to her. I had to sing “You Are My Sunshine” only 6 times. She began to join in after the third time around. It is times like that I wouldn’t trade for a million dollars.

Tomorrow morning we pack up, a chore that has become a lot less tiresome and trying since we got our camper. We will pull out, dump the trash off and empty the black and gray water out of the holding tanks. Then we hit the road. Back to Comer Town we go. Back to our neighborhood. Back to our home. Back to where we know folks and folks know us. Back to sleep in our own beds. Back to our 3 stinky cats. Back to our house that ALWAYS needs cleaning and laundry that ALWAYS needs to be done. Ahhhhhhh, what bliss……minus a behemoth of a truck with a back seat the size of a couch. Pete is a strong, strong man.

All In a Day's Work

Today was a day with my critical hospital patients. My shift, beginning at 6:45AM, started out with a BANG!!! My first patient, unable to speak due to a trach, informed me that he didn't want to be there and he wanted to die. GREATTTTTTTTTTTTT.......
When I meet patients, I don't necessarily know all of the family dynamics. I don't know all the details of what brought them to our hospital. And in some ways, its better not knowing too many details. It's better for my emotional health to be able to separate myself from patients that are on the edge.
After lunch things did get better....I even had the great pleasure of inserting a rectal tube on a patient!! WOOHOO!! I mean, I've put many a foley in both men and women...but never a rectal tube! So now, finally I can say that I had the chance to explore that orafice with a device of torture too! **Special note** Rectal tubes go on the list of things I DO NOT EVER want to have put in my orafice!!!! That goes along with being on a Vent and having to have a nasogastric tube!!!
Something that's funny to me is that all of the patients at the hospital do not wear drawers. This fact does not in any way disturb me or make me uncomfortable. I think absolutely nothing of seeing a person in their birthday suit. HOWEVER....if a person was just sitting around in their underpants at the vein practice, I would be so embarassed and uncomfortable I couldn't hardly stand it!! Makes no sense does it? It is what it is though. We don't sit around in our drawers at home either and Pete never hangs out shirtless. I guess we are just modest folks.
All in all, I like my new job. I really love that I am helping comfort people that are in a really tough spot in their life. I love using the nursing skills that I spent several thousands of dollars on!!! The thought did cross my mind today that maybe I should have gone into floral design or something less stressful!! Nahhhhhhhh

A few of my favorite things

Here are a few of my favorite things, the things that make me happy!
1) Going and visiting my little buddy Lyle, his mommy Sherry and his baby brother Emory. They are a beautful family and I enjoy my friend Sherry a lot. She is a beautiful soul that seems to except me for exactly who I am and that is something great!
2) Our small group meetings at the Legg's house on Sunday nights. We get to enjoy a great meal together and then have a wonderful lesson. It's very fulfilling.
3) My friends. I can not begin to name all of the people that are special to me. I am surrounded by many women and men whose spirits shine with the light of the Lord. I would love to have a book documenting each one's testimony. Each testimony is so special and really touches my heart.
4) My neighborhood family. We are here for a reason. There are so many special families and singles that live here. I love being able to walk the neighborhood and speak to folks.
5) Cliff Mojo bars (peanut butter and pretzel) and a cup of coffee. I can't begin to tell you what a treat that is for me.
6) A comfortable pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt. Although they aren't fancy duds...they are most representative of my style....always have been, always will be!
7) My cat Jack. Or Jack a poo tee as Lyndi calls him. He is an orange manx. For some reason, he just brings me joy. He is a funny cat. He drives Pete nuts and claws things up from time to time. But what can I say? I love him.

The Beauty of It All

I began my new job working with long term care patients part time in town. I will continue work part time for the vein practice I've been at for the last year and a half. Let me just say that I am so incredibly busy in my life now. I thought I was busy before. My life was sitting on snooze before! I just didn't know.
I really like my new job. The patients are all total care. Most of the patients I've worked with are on a vent or have a tracheostomy. Some patients are there due to car accidents, severe stroke, failed attempts at suicide or just plain rotten health. I wondered how I would feel working with patients that were almost all in such a bad state of being. Truly it hasn't bothered me yet. After having worked in oncology, home health and acute care, I feel more adept at caring for these patients. I also know that I don't plan to dig deep into their personal lives. The less I know about them as a person (a healthy, living person) the better. My goal is to provide comfort and well being to each person to the best of my ability. I already know going into this sort of environment that some people never really get better. Comfort is key...full recovery is not. If a person is able to overcome their circumstances and graduate out of our facility, what a blessing!!
Coming from a little office of only 5 people, into a group of double digit nurses, plus office and other staff members is a big change. There are some interesting dianamics that I haven't really encountered before. I have sensed that there is a lot of tension between nurses. The Chaplain explained that this phenomenon is due to the high stress and the negativity related to all of the really sick patients. These patients are really needy and often have demanding family members. Those sorts of things tend to wear on the nurses and causes them to take it out on eachother. I personally believe that a lot of nurses have issues with control. They want to be in control of their patients, themselves and their environment. Of course this isn't a realistic expectation. At times, when the world isn't cooperating, the nurses get upset and lash out. Power struggles play out too. Instead of each person looking at their coworkers as a huge source of knowlege and assistance, some nurses feel inferior or even superior and then the horn clashing begins.
I've noticed a good bit of eye rolling, hen like cackling and ruffled feathers. It's a shame too. I see why it happens though. My goal is to avoid this drama and head butting as much as possible. I know that so much of what goes on in places like that have nothing REALLY to do with me personally. I will try to just do my job to the best of my ability, care for my patients in a manner that I have been called by God to do and then head home knowing that I made a difference. That's my goal. My prayer is that God will help guide me through all of this and help me to avoid major obstacles and that he will take my own burdens up on HIS shoulders.
 In this life I have been given, I learned a few years ago that I have control of NOTHING. I learned from my previous marriage that I can not change anyone. I have learned to take each day as it comes. And I have learned from being a nurse that each patient, no matter what level of consciousness they may appear to be at, is still a human being with needs. The one thing that I learned from a dear friend/cancer patient named Terry, is that it is so important for each patient to feel like a human being and not like a disease (or a number).
So for my first days at the hospital, I feel like I am starting all over. I am so thankful that I haven't lost every bit of knowlege that I have about nursing. I have been thrilled over the moments of knowlege that come to me. I thought my bulb had burned out completely...I guess not! That little bulb turns on and shines from time to time!!! I'm rusty in my practice but still salvageable!
I find it so interesting that God has brought me to this place at this time in my life. My hope is that he will use me to help further HIS Kingdom. I am really looking forward to being witness to these situations I am talking about. I know that I have been so blessed in every area of nursing that I have worked in. Naturally there have been ups and downs in all of the places I've worked. That's life. The bad helps us to appreciate the good. It's my hope though that the good out weighs the bad! But the absolute miracles and examples of God's grace and mercy have been so amazing!!
So now if you see me on a Tuesday night, Wednesday night or Thursday night, know this: I probably have just worked a 12 hour shift with some really, really sick people; I worked Wed. at the Vein practice and Im still tired from my previous 12 hr shift and then will be at church that evening; Thursday will be another 12 hour shift taking care of really, really sick people. Please be understanding of my yawns and stretching...it's not a show of disrespect!
Thank you God for getting me to this point, even if it took months for you to go from saying "be still and wait", to "YES!"