Memorial Day 2011

Apparently I decided without telling myself that I would stop writing for a while. It came as a shock to me too that there were no words to be said. Truth be told, I think that I wanted to stick to the notion that if one does not have anything good to say then for goodness sakes, DON'T SAY IT. So I haven't and I didn't.
This past year has been a bit of a challenge for me mentally, physically and emotionally. I kept thinking that if I blogged it would come out as a NOT SO HELPFUL, SELF HELP manual.
First I began working in a local emergency room in a large hospital in our town. I turned my life completely upside down by taking a night position. Ever watch the show "The Twilight Zone"? Fantastic program...not such a fantastic way of living. Nurses that work in ERs are a completely different breed. Each one warned that I would be jaded in no time. I would be burnt out on people. I would hate working with the public. And at times, I have to admit, I did start to feel that way. The thought of throttling some people to death was amusing. But having someone cuss me, ask for pain meds and demand food wore me down. And then the dreaded,"I must have ANOTHER PILLOW AND WARM BLANKET!!!" I just knew that any moment a masseuse and a nail tech would pop out of the bathroom and a pedicure would ensue.
Weekly reminders about how to provide nursing care would come out. Nurses were regularly reminded to treat people with kindness, respect and compassion. The hospital would even conduct surveys to find out what the average patient's ER experience was like. I fully expected to hear that "My nurse came in, introduced herself, asked why I in the ER, hooked me up to a machine, wiped her brow, squinted her eyes to see monitors and sighed while some blasted machine kept dinging. Then her work phone kept ringing and she had to tell each person that she was working with a new patient, collecting a urine, starting an IV and collecting a poop sample. While looking at my nurse, I noticed that her eyes looked a little gaunt from lack of sleep I'm certain. Her hair was out of place from running from place to place. She had a nervous tick...probably from that doctor who looked like Mac Steamy or was it Dreamy asked if she had bothered to get a pelvic exam setup?! All in all, my nurse was nice enough. But I was really disappointed that I did not get the French Manicure I requested."
So I was a day sleeper for months. And I could sleep during the day. I had to buy some pull down, black out shades to go over our custom made blinds in our bedroom. These replaced the super splendid sheets and blankets that covered the windows for the first few weeks. These were a step up in class from covering the windows in tin foil. Since Meth makers began using the tin foil tactic for privacy, I didn't want to upset the neighbors and our local police patrol.
Because I spent so much time in bed sleeping and then napping when I could on days off, I spent a lot of time away from friends. When I began on night shift, my hair was quite short. I had decided to let it grow out for Pete's sake. So now, that I have arisen from the darkness of night, my hair is longer and down to my shoulders. I have dropped at least six pounds. Missing meals really helps one to lose weight. My friends probably won't even know who I am.
But alas it is Memorial Day. I awoke at about 4 AM today. I have had my coffee and a breakfast bar. Tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow I am scheduled to have a hysterectomy at 6 AM. So in one fell swoop, I am becoming a day dweller and I am becoming less bitchy as a member of society. I kind of almost feel like it a whole new beginning....long hair and all.
So no more letters and instructions on how to be nice to people. I'll just be me again...minus a uterus and cervix. Who needs those anyway? Men don't have them. I will soon be able to go out into the sunlight and not feel like my eyeballs are crawling back up into the inside, darkness of my eye sockets. It's going to be great again!
Today I am hopeful.Today I begin my blogging again. Stay tuned.