Christmas Day 2009

It't hard to believe that Christmas is here...and almost outta here!!! It's been a fine holiday season. And I say season only for the purposes of mentioning that it lasts more than an EVE and a day! Back around Thanksgiving, we got our Christmas lights out on the house. I added a lighted star to my display this year and set out some lighted gifts. I like it. It's festive and but not over stated. What is it about some lights on a string that makes us feel so cozy and conjures up old memories of childhood?
As for Christmas gifting, I had all of my shopping completed by Christmas Eve. Really I had about 98% of my shopping done by then. Christmas Eve, we had a very enjoyable dinner with our friends Sherry, Chris and Lyle. Lyle, being 2 years old found the dinner to be boring but Lyndi's Thomas the Train figures to be the bees knees!!! I actually got to bust out and use my Christmas china and a fancy red table cloth (that I picked up at Dollar General for a mere $4.50!!!). I thought dinner was delicious...even if I did make it myself...well mostly anyway...I did pick up a couple of rotisserie chickens from the grocery store to help save on time!
This morning, the girls opened their gifts from Santa and checked out their stockings. My parents came over in time to have breakfast with us and to finish opening presents.
After lunch, I went by an old friend's house to see him and his parents. It was so surreal hanging out with them. I have known them since I was about 14 years old. Being 36 now, I probably wasn't hugely far off from how old they were when I met them! I brought Lila with me. I'm sure it was kind of funny for them to see a mini me as a child and me as an adult. It was weird for me...even if they didnt think twice about it!
Tonight we went to my parent's house and had dinner. My brother and his family were there. It was a great dinner and great company. I'm sorry to say that it had been a year since I had seen them last. I miss my brother and his family. I really wish that my girls had a closer relationship with their cousins. My brother lives near Warner Robins, GA. Its a pretty good trek to get there.
Although I had hoped that we would make it through the rest of this year without any more deaths of friends or family members, we found out today that Pete's Uncle Bill's wife, Julie, passed yesterday from breast cancer. She was Bill's second wife. His first wife passed several years ago, before I joined the Golden family. Julie was a very fine woman. I feel for Bill. I pray for him to be comforted at this time. What a tough thing to have to go through.
Tomorrow, will be Christmas celebration #3. This one will be at Pete's folks house. It's always a good time! We eat well...get to spend time with his sister and her family...and get to be with Pete's parents. It will really be a good time and I look forward to it!
I sure hope that all my friends and loved ones have had a nice Christmas. I am so greatful for our good Lord and his love for us. He has blessed us so much. He continually looks after us and guides us.
Good night all. My love to you and yours.

2009 Summary

Because it seems to be OH SO POPULAR to write a commentary summarizing the events of 2009 I will tackle this topic tonight to the best of my ability..... With that being said, let me also say this...I can't really seem to recall much of 2009!! So I can only begin to comment on what I do remember. Hmmmmm (straining actually to remember!!)
January: Began the term of President for Barrack Obama. That's all I'm going to say about that. If you want to know what he has accomplished or anything else...Google it your own self!!
Ummm, I think I also got my W-2 forms in the mail....at least by the end of the month. I think we got our return in February. I'm quite sure the money was spent before we got it. I know that some of the money went to pay off bills. WOOHOO!
April (I can't remember the other months before this month): I turned 36. This is probably the root cause of my poor memory. This was a tough birthday for me. I couldn't help but look at it as a quick, down hill slide into 40! I know, it sounds like whining...and what if I was about to turn 50 or 60??!! Whatever...my point is that I still have not been able to figure out what happened to 31, 32, 33, 34 or 35!!!! 36 wouldn't be so bad if I just could account for all of those other years!!
May, we celebrated Great Granny's 95th birthday! When a person is almost a century old, one should really be able to appreciate the mileage.
June: Pete turned 48. Talk about sliding into a new decade...50 is right around the corner! Which is such a wierd thought for me. When I met Pete, he was 38. And now, I am nearly the age he was when we met. Back in the day when we met, Pete was still red headed and not snowy topped. He has managed to age so nicely! MEN! They always have the prettiest eye lashes, fingernails and look oh so handsome with gray hair! Wrinkles give men character...we women...we just look prunish.
July.....uuuuhhhhhh Ive got nothing.
August: My mom turned 64. As she ages, I see more and more of her mom in her. Not just in physical appearance. The very things that used to drive my mom bonkers about her mom....she now chanels in her own being. For instance, my Granny used to have this thing about shoes. They couldn't put pressure on her toes or rub her corns. What is a corn anyway? And who thought of making a pad to cover corns? Anyway, my Granny used to worry over her shoes constantly. Now my mom worries over her shoes! Are the heels high enough? Is there enough arch support? I suppose that one day I too will be a shoe worrier. God help Pete and my girls!
October: My little Lyndi turned 3 years old. We didn't have a traditional birthday party for her this year. Instead, we took her to Chuck E Cheese's to celebrate her birthday and our neighbor friend's son's birthday...he turned 2! What a blast they had!
I was highly fearful that Lyndi would put us through H-E-double hockey sticks with the whole 3 year old thing...which is worse than the Terrible Twos by far!!!! But so far, despite having many tantrums and shouting "I'LL DO IT MYSELF MAMA!!", three really hasn't been so bad. Of course, that could be because we were beat down to the point of complete numbness from Lila being 3!!! I think I still have a twitch from that time period!
November: My stepson Grant turned 21! What a bizarre thing that was! When I met Grant, he was 10 years old. Now he is legal. I can not for the life of me figure out where all those years went!!!
December: I know it seems as though the year has centered around our birthdays...but I guess in many ways it has. But December was marked with a great loss too. Back in November, a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, Granny Morris became very ill. It seems odd to think that in May we had her home at her house to celebrate her 95th birthday. On December 2, Granny passed. It was a sad occasion and yet a joyful one. There was not a single doubt in any of our minds that Granny would be headed any where except to be with our loving Father in Heaven. What a tremendous blessing to KNOW without a single doubt that a person is going Home. To have such faith that a person is a Believer!!!
This month, on December 20th, Lila turned 8 years old. I feel certain that she grew several inches this year. She didn't grow out any though. Poor girl looks like we starve her to death. She wears a 7 Slim in pants with the internal waist band cinched down almost as tight as it will go!! She wears a size 2.5 shoe. And the best way I have been able to measure her is by judging her against my height. Before the summer, Lila came up to just below my chest. Now, Lila's head comes up to the top of my chest. Soon, Lila will be up to my shoulders!! *sigh* My "little" girl is growing up way too quickly. I often have to remind myself that she is still only a young child. She looks much too grown up and I have to tell myself to let her BE A CHILD!!
So here I am, 3 days before Christmas and wondering what in the world happened to the year?!! 2010 is knocking at the door. With it, will come 37 for me. And everyone else will eek closer to being grown up or over the hill!
Maybe this year coming up, I will be able to start a work out routine and stick with it. Maybe I won't work out really hard for a while, only to back slide because of some kind of injury, ache or pain! Maybe I'll lose the 12-15 pounds I packed on this year. And maybe I won't need to wear a tummy control paneled bathing suit to hide the aforementioned weight that I gained!!
This up coming year, maybe Lila and Lyndi will miraculously learn to get along with eachother......yea, I know...wishful thinking!!!
And finally, maybe this year I will be able to remember all the things that I had hoped I could!! Ok...now Im dreaming for real!~

I (heart) Mom

Tonight I was reminded of a situation that I was witness to a few years ago while I was in nursing school when I went and saw a friend of mine that was sick. I took her some chicken noodle soup to try to help her feel better. It's just what you do when people are sick...take them soup. Nothing has ever made me feel better faster than to have some homemade soup from my mom. I don't ever really get that soup anymore. Not now that I'm grown and married. But my husband doesn't make homemade soup...not the therapeutic kind that is meant for helping a person get well and back up on their feet.
But the point of this wasn't to discuss the power of homemade chicken noodle soup...despite the fact that Jewish women swear by it! Instead, this is about the nurturing, loving, healing powers of Mom. Not just my mom, but many, many moms. Tonight when I saw my friend, her mom was there at her house to help her out. Not to just help her with her child, as my friend is a single mom. But her mom was there to offer loving support that only moms and dear, dear people (usually women) can offer.
My friend commented that her boyfriend, although great, couldn't take the place of her mom. Her mom said that the boyfriend was really great and tried to really help out by cooking for my friend. His efforts, although appreciated, still did not measure up to my friend's mom's comfort. My friend added that she just needed her MOM.
So after this exchange between mother and daughter, I was reminded of when I was working on an oncology floor as a nurse extern in Macon. There was a lady in her 80's that was dying of cancer. When she came into the hospital she was talking and interacting. The cancer she had consumed her entire being quickly and she became virtually unresponsive to us.
As the patient layed there in bed, obviously not long from death, she began to call out softly. I thought perhaps she would call out for her husband. They had been married for 50-60 years. He was sitting at the foot of her bed. I thought that she would want the comfort of him holding her hand. But no. She called out to her mother, the same mother who had probably died 20 years prior to the patient's hospitalization. Over and over she called out to her mom and reached out her hand. Perhaps her mother was there with her to comfort her and we just couldn't see her.
From that time on, I began to appreciate the fact that no matter how old we get, we always want our mom. We want our comforter. We want the person that stays up all night and swabs our heads with cool washclothes when we have a fever. We want that person that kisses our boo-boos and tells us that it will be OK. We want that person that faithfully rocked us to sleep or soothed us when we were afraid of lightening.
Is there any wonder that one of the most popular tattoos of all time is the "I (heart) MOM" piece?
I feel certain that there are people out there that say that their mom was the first cousin to the devil. I know there are just some really bad parents in this world that deserve to be disowned. But I think that even deep down in the heart of that child (adult children too), there is still a deep desire to have whatever scraps of maternal love that is available from the one who gave birth to them or raised them. Its approval or acceptance I'm sure. And some times these moms fall way short. But, no matter what, if the situation was more ideal, that child would want to be with their mom.
So whether we are 2 or 87, when we hurt, when we cry, when we ache from within....we will call out to her...to mom...so she can kiss away our fears and wipe our tears away. We will hold out our hands so that we can be touched by her and comforted...even if she passed decades before and only our loving memory of her remains.

*caution* gloom and doom...with a chance of sunshine

Well its ALREADY the second day of October...the first day blew by like all the rest of the days of this year! With the start of October, the days have been cooler and seeming more like Fall! I'm thankful for that. I can not seem to dress appropriately though. Is it a short sleeve shirt day really? Is a thin jacket best? I have already started wearing my fleece pjs at night and socks. Crazy I know! Sleeping with the windows cracked makes for a chilly night when the temp goes down into the 40's!
My creative writing skills have been alluding me here lately. Someone asked me recently why I haven't been writing. I told her that I really just didn't want my somber moods to reach out and have an negative effect on some innocent readers life.
Please don't get me wrong, I know and appreciate that I am truly a blessed person. But because I am human, from time to time, life eeks in and gets me down. It does take a lot to get me to that point I think. The month of September was hugely stressful and full of uncertainties.
Because we spend some much time at work, it only makes sense that the dynamics of work can have a huge effect on a person's being. There has been a great deal of uncertainty with work. Right now we are undergoing some huge changes that have had all of us struggling and trying to deal with change. We are all thankful to be employed, especially in these times. However, because we are such a small group, emotions and moods can really end up being shared.
A dear friend of mine passed last month. He was at the center of all of the drama associated with the cancer treatment center where I used to work. His passing drudged up some old feelings I had from a couple of years back. There were a few days after his passing that really seemed to weigh me down. The upside to his passing was that he was such a great, God loving man! I rejoice in the fact that I KNOW where he is today! I am excited for him that he is now with our Lord.
This month, Lyndi, my sweet little girl, is going to turn 3 years old! I've been trying to think of what kind of celebration we should have for her. I hope the month doesn't slip by without plans being made. I'm in utter disbelief that my baby could possibly be that old! Sometimes when she laughs or cries, I can still hear that familiar baby sound in it. I still see traces of behaviors or actions that were there when she was a little baby. And yet, I am watching her grow up in height. I am listening to her speak words that come out of the mouths of a more grown child. Raising a child is so interesting, each day brings a new development.
I read recently that the unemployment rate is at 9.8%. The housing market has picked up some. I don't think that anyone is letting their guard down at this point. We are all kind of walking on eggshells waiting to see what Obama has planned for our healthcare and our financial status.
Did I happen to mention that we had over a solid week of rain??? It caused tremendous flooding around Atlanta and the surrounding area. It seemed to weigh on the moods of many of my friends as well! People were posting comments on Facebook right and left that they felt gloomy from a lack of sunshine! It seemed that our whole area rejoiced when we could all pull out our sunglasses once again!
I'm hoping that this month will begin an improvement in my mood and attitude. Perhaps it will be contagious too! Perhaps all the goings on will work out and we can all relax a little....unwind our poor nerves. Maybe I'll be able to take my writing skills off the shelf, dust them off and start a new chapter!

Not going through the motions anymore

Just when you think that today is going to be like any other day....God starts tapping you on the shoulder and speaking to you!
This morning on the way in to work, Lyndi was in the back seat babbling on about the world around us. I was thinking about work and all of its goings on. Then my thoughts went to my Dad. I don't remember exactly how it all played out but I felt like God really wanted me to think about my relationship with my Dad. I love my Dad very much.
Last night at church, we were talking about what it really meant to fear the Lord. Does the Lord really want us to be afraid of HIM? And most of us agreed that the fear we are to have is a healthy, respectful, awe of God. For many, they likened their fear of the Lord to the same fear they had of their Dad growing up. And this thought of course spurred me to think about my own Dad.
Growing up, I was always a Daddy's girl. I loved my Dad so dearly. But my Dad is/was a big man. I really didn't have to fear him causing me great physical harm. But what I feared the most was the thought of disappointing my Dad. I didn't want to let my Dad down. My Dad always showed me great love growing up. Stopping at this thought would make one think that perhaps life was grand and full of loving perfection. Unfortunately that wasn't the whole truth about our relationship.
My Dad, despite being a great person and a loving Dad has a bad habit. My Dad is a drinker. I don't even like to just put this out there for the world to know. The thought of someone judging my Dad based upon that fact breaks my heart. For decades I have prayed that he would stop. A couple of times he came close. Unfortunately, because of the stress of life and circumstances, he has not quit. I think that if all of the stress of work, bills and obligations were gone, he could stop. Otherwise, my Dad will drink until....who knows.
So this morning, the thought hit me. For years and years, I think that I had told myself that I would and could love my Dad MORE if he just quit drinking. I love my Dad in spite of his habit. However, I have had to build up a defense mechanism to protect myself from the heart ache of his behavior. My Dad doesn't behave well when he drinks. Not that he is physically abusive or violent. He just has too much to say and doesn't do it in such a kind way. At any rate, this has built up a huge wall in my heart.
When I drive in to work, I pass the driveway to where my Dad works. I always think, every day as I pass by that Dad's up there on the hill working. And the thought hit me...one day...who knows when...Dad won't be up there on that hill working. Waiting until my Dad stops drinking to freely love him and show him how I feel may never ever come. That time or opportunity may never come my way. How would I feel knowing that I held back because I hated the sin? I withheld love for my Dad. When really, my Dad needs to know how much I really love him. That knowing that he is loved and supported could some day help clear the cloud from around his head and allow him to let go of his habit and fears.
I decided that I will, despite how I might feel about his behavior, let him know that I love him and appreciate him and that I thank God for him. So, I picked up my cell phone and told him so. He seemed to be in good spirits. I thought, what IF that call helped him to have a better day? What if sharing, loving, supporting that person, any person, made the difference of a lifetime? What if?
Today I made the promise to myself that I was going to make a point of going out of my way to let my Dad know how important he is to me. That when the day comes that my Dad is no longer working up there on that hill....I will know that he KNEW how much I loved and appreciated him. Because honoring my Dad is what our Father wants us to do for HIM. God wants to be honored. And really, we all want to be loved, appreciated and respected.
After I got of the phone with my Dad, a song by Matthew West came on the FISH called,"The Motions". God is always talking to me through signs (literal ones sometimes), dreams and music. That song touched my heart so much. It brought tears to my eyes. I got the message today loud and clear. I had a great day at work.
Life isn't about going through the motions. God wants us to feel and to be joyful. God wants us to love and feel fulfilled. God wants us to not be numb to life and its experiences but to to see that he is there in everything and wanting what is best for us.
A dear friend of mine tells me that she wants to be able to take a pill so that she doesn't have to feel LIFE anymore. Life is tough. Life is painful sometimes. These things are true. But if numbness is all that a person feels...then the Joy that we feel when we know the Lord wouldn't be able to exist. Sure we know that God is there with us when things are going well. But when things aren't going well...how much sweeter can life get than to KNOW that God has his hand on those things and is the one in control. It's no wonder to me that when times are so tough that I think that I might not make it ONE MORE DAY...if I pray to God for peace and comfort...I get it. God taking control of our lives and our problems...there is no sweeter, more certain peace.
So today, I pray that I don't just go through the motions of life. I want to be PRESENT. I want to feel. I want to love. I want to LIVE.

With Joy

Tonight Jerry sat there in his chair, tears were welled up in his eyes. It would be a couple of minutes before an uncontrolled tear would begin to fall out of his eye, to be swept away with his hand. His nose pinkened slightly. Those tears, usually reserved for sadness, were not for such at all...in fact, that tear was for his Dad. Jerry's Dad is a man of joy. Jerry says that despite diabetes and an array of other such debilitating diseases, his Father is a man of extreme, constant JOY. He said that his Father was an Ecclesiastes 12-13 man.

"I know that here is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in ones lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks see good in all his labor it is the gift of God."

I thought it sort of ironic that Jerry felt in such awe over his Dad being so joyous when Jerry too is a model of joy and ever faithfulness to us all! Jerry sat there speaking of his Dad in his chair...his WHEEL CHAIR . The wheel chair that he has been bound to and dependent on for decades since a football injury rendered him a quadriplegic. If the story ended with Jerry as a young man, battling inner demons for being cursed to a wheel chair for the rest of his life, we all might think that anyone could feel at least some bitterness for that to happen. Not Jerry. I'm not saying that Jerry hasn't probably had moments of sadness and grief. Who doesn't? But to talk to Jerry, one only hears of his love for his Lord and for his family.
Why is it that a person who is completely able bodied would feel inclined to go to someone like Jerry for advise and hope? Because Jerry is a very wise, God fearing man that has known God's greatest mercies and love and is not ashamed to share his experiences.
Jerry, although he has been limited physically to an extent, has managed to complete college, develop a wonderful ministry where he teaches teenagers at a private school, he is married and has two very beautiful children. Jerry has been blessed a million times over and he KNOWS IT! To see Jerry talk about his Faith and to share the Word of God is truly a treat! It will only take just a minute before the widest grin flashes over Jerry's face, expressing the great JOY that he has for the Lord!
One day, I can see Jerry's son or daughter speaking to a crowd, sharing the Word or their testimony and also expressing the admiration that they have for their Father Jerry, who always had the greatest smile on his face and WORDS of JOY to share! They would say that Jerry was an inspiration to them and to anyone that came in contact with him. They would feel a great sense of fulfillment when they could add that their Dad was one of the greatest examples of a Christian that they knew. They too will have tears well up in their eyes and in only a minute, one will begin to fall.

Catching up

It's seems to me that life is full of catching up! You can "catch up" with old friends..We have to get caught up on house work...Catch up on reading...We need to get caught up on things that are important. Its a never ending process of catching up. Its a state of being really...for me. For us. It doesn't seem that its ever something that is attainable. What would I do when I did actually catch up??? Die?
I haven't been such a great blogger as of late. I guess I need to catch up on that too. So I will try to bring everyone up to speed on my latest adventures, thoughts and meanderings.
I'll start with my least favorite subject of work. Work is what it is. I'm so grateful to have a job and be able to pay bills. I am like most people, under payed for the service, knowledge and ability that I bring to my job. I'm currently in a 3 month battle over getting paid for a day that I had to be out with my sick child. According to our work policy, if an employee works any part of the day they had to go home, they have to be paid. Well the powers that be, decided to be creative and consider it an UNEXCUSED ABSENCE....something that was not part of our policy. Well, after a bit of discussion, the powers decided that it wasn't fair to decide not to pay me...but I still haven't been paid. There is a WHOLE lot more involved and more stinkiness connected to all of this...but it makes for a sad employee. I'm not feeling the love right now. I'm hoping that this will all change.
The unfortunate thing to me is that when you have a job you love, its like any relationship...it seems that over time, things begin to change. "The honeymoon is over" sort of thing happens. Reality sets in. And its not that I don't still love my coworkers and my patients. Its just that my feelings have been hurt and the great pride I used to feel about my job....well...its been taken down a notch or two. Too bad they don't have work counselors like they have marriage counselors!! And please don't suggest to me that our HR person is the one that is supposed to handle this sort of thing......
Well, in true Marci form, I did it again!!!! This weekend, we (work) had a booth at a maternity fair. It was kind of neat getting to see all the cute little babies being toted around, some in slings and some in strollers. New mommies and mommies to be, paraded around, looking so content and happy! I love that. I don't miss that...but I love that! I didn't envy the cutie little mommies-to-be waddling around. Bellies poked out in all sorts of manners. Some looked like basketballs, some like oblong watermelons, some like little round pillows all out in front. Too cute. I didn't feel cute like that toward the end of both of my pregnancies and I WAS NOT cute in the last couple of months of my pregnancies!
But back to what I said that is so typical of me:
This little Mama was walking around carrying her almost 2 year old son, strapped across her in a sling. The little fellow was zonked out, oblivious to all the other screaming children and cooing mommies. His mom seemed to be a pro at toting her little man on her right hip. And as I found out after inquiry, she was pregnant with baby #2. WOW! Carrying at toddler and an unborn child....Daddy standing there with her....holding nothing.....
So I said something like,"Wow I bet carrying that baby around on your mommy hip that its probably caused you to walk bent over to one side all the time..." She replied,"No I just have scoliosis." As my buddy Steve said--Open mouth...insert foot!
Huh...well scoliosis will sure do that. I tried to recover by telling her that she should move him to the other hip to balance things out. Ok, so it was time to be packing up and taking myself to the house...but alas, I had a couple of more hours to go. A couple of more hours that I'm sure my salaried status won't be paying me for.
The other night, I was so in hopes of signing on to my blog to share the most awesome news I have heard recently...there has been a lot of really great news and praises amid all the stress and chaos of this life. But my computer and email account just wouldn't allow me to get on here to share the GOOD NEWS! So instead of a beautiful, elaborate story, I will keep it simple!
My friend Kitty, who is a single mom and has had to be creative in holding the household together (lately) financially...had multiple answered prayers! She got a small raise at work...but then another door opened that would allow her part time work with good pay! How AWESOME! Will she be "well to do" now? No, but God has shown her time and time again that he will provide for her and all of her needs as he sees fit. It has been so awesome to see how God has worked in her life! I really am in awe time and time again. God does answer prayers!! And just at the right time too.
Time, this thing that eludes most of us...thus we spend all of our time catching up....is an interesting thing. Tonight we went to dinner with some friends of mine that I knew from my teenage years. There we were, both couples married and with 2 girls. I remember going to their wedding! How neat to see each other, hairlines, facial lines and waist lines in slightly different spots than they once were! And how much wiser and more seasoned we all are! It was really great! It blows my mind to think that the last time I saw them, I was well over a decade younger. One whole decade. Almost two! Where does time go? I guess it goes wherever my waistline went and my nerves ran off to!

The Only Thing

I heard this song the other day on the radio and I was struck by the truth of what it said: The only thing good in me is Jesus. The first thing that came to my mind is that I am a good person...right? But then I thought, I am my best because I have given my life to HIM. I am a nurse because I was called to care for others. I help people as often as I am able because I feel like this is my way to honor God. Sure I am a good person, I am tender hearted and love PEOPLE. But I think that I am good or give my best to honor HIM.
That being said, I cant tell you how many times I sort of cringe when someone goes on and on about appreciating what I have done for them. Many times, I honestly, consciously do things because I think its the right thing to do. I am in no way perfect. I am not always unselfish. I am not always kind. I am not always happy. I do not always do or say the right things. BUT when I do something that is right and in accordance with God's Word, HIS Grace shines through...that's what that person is seeing.
This verse sums it up: If you could walk the hallways of my heart. And see things as they really are. I wonder if you might be surprised. Seeing faded walls of pride and fear. Rooms I've filled with faithless tears. And corners where I've stood in compromise. But you'd see the work His grace has done. You'd know just how far I've come.

I think back over the years of my life and I feel really good about some things I've done. But those not so great moments, actions or the poor decisions I made glare out at me. When I look back on those times, I don't feel that that sickening, sinking sensation that I used to feel. I have already been Forgiven for all that. However, I know to completely forget all of those life lessons would be foolish in my opinion. Dwelling on the past is another foolish decision. So, if I choose to take a look at some of the negative things of my past, I have to think, "what did I learn from that? How did God use this for good?" I have learned some really great lessons! Too bad I can't pass all this wisdom on to my children and have them just "take my word for it".

I have come such a long way. Back when I was 12 years old I was baptized for the first time. And I say for the first time because I was baptized again when I was 18. Truly, I would not mind being baptized AGAIN! Not that baptism MAKES you a better Christian. I would just like to publicly show that I have TRULY given my life to Jesus. When I was 12, I don't think I REALLY could grasp what it meant to have a relationship with God. When I was 18, I definitely believed that Jesus died for my sins, but I still didn't have that close personal relationship and FAITH (as I know it now). I surely had not realized that talking the talk, meant walking the walk.

After many trials and tribulations that I have had over the last handful of years, I think that I have become so much more committed to my relationship with God. I was spiritually broken and in some ways physically and emotionally broken as well. I was as low as I think I could get. I don't ever want to have to know if there is an EVEN LOWER point than the bottom that I met. Through my darkest of days, I prayed. Through the brighter days I prayed and thanked God for the glimpses of light. Through the much better days, I have seen how God has USED the darkness in my life to help others and to be a more loving, compassionate person. Hundreds of times, I have encountered people with similar issues that I experienced. I have been able to hold hands with people whose pain reeked out from their very pores. Pains that were not just physical but emotional and spiritual. I thanked God for giving me a heart and experience.

When I went through my darkest days, I NEVER thought that I would ever be grateful for having to claw my way out of the pit of despair. NEVER. NEVER. I never thought that all the tears I shed would ever be used to help quench someone else in their moments of despair. NEVER. But, again I say that I do truly believe that the Only Good in Me is Jesus. Without the Grace and love of God and his Holy Son, I would still be writhing in that pit. I would not have had hope. I would not have had peace. I would not have had loving support. No one PERSON could have pulled me through. Only God's Grace truly saved me.

A non-believer might read this and say, "This chick is diluted and crazed." And I would say to a non-believer,"I don't care what you think or say or do...I know where I came from, I know that my heart and my entire life has been changed because of my FAITH. And I know that when I cried out to Jesus to help save me....I was saved and had peace. This is not the kind of peace that is just quiet emptiness...this is an overwhelming knowledge that God was with me and that He would carry me through all of this....and He did!" I have felt pain, loneliness and anguish. I have thought that there were days that I would be better off dead. BUT...when I prayed...I didn't hurt so much. I didn't feel hopeless. I didn't think that an empty death was the answer. I found my relationship with Jesus. And if this doesn't sound cool or sounds weak and pathetic....that's what I used to be. But as I said before, no person, no judgemental PERSON could have ever saved me or given me peace. A non-believer can only wonder if what I am saying is true. A Christian would say, "Thank you Lord for your love and Grace. Thank you for making the only thing good in me, your Holy Son."

THE ONLY THING By Ronnie Freeman
I heard someone say the other day.
They'd seen in me true love displayed.
Blessed by something I had done for them.
No sooner had they said these words.
I found myself somehow disturbed.
Uneasy as I took their compliment.
Cause I know the heart inside this man.
I know the truth of who I am...

(Chorus)The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
I know me well enough to know.
No matter what this life may show.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
If you could walk the hallways of my heart.
And see things as they really are.
I wonder if you might be surprised.
Seeing faded walls of pride and fear.
Rooms I've filled with faithless tears.
And corners where I've stood in compromise.
But you'd see the work His grace has done.
You'd know just how far I've come.
In a thousand years.
When the dust of this world clears.
And I look back on my life.
And see in perfect light.

(Chorus)The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
I know me well enough to know.
No matter what this life may show.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus.
I know me well enough to know.
No matter what this life may show.
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

Excuse me, is that a donut on your hip?

Some time ago, I thought I was ready to take on the WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE! For some strange reason (be it hormones, thyroid or too many sweets) I have gained several pounds in the last 6 months. For my entire life (meaning after 15yrs old) I have always weighed 136lbs. I am almost 5'8". To look at me now, you would never guess that I weigh 151.9 lbs. Anyone with any kind of waist line would look at me and scoff. Well, scoffers....you just scoff away!!! I am just as tired of my extra weight as anyone else!!! I carry all of my weight right in the front...probably because that is where my babies stretched my poor precious belly skin out like a large basketball. My legs....alas, will always be chicken legs. I am really ok with that. Its the rolling belly that reminds me of the foothills of the Appalachian that bothers me. My stretch marks might make too good a trail for hikers.
This morning, I awoke at my usual time (but actually got out of bed this time!) at 0630hrs. I got dressed in my cycling garb and hit the bike trainer. I actually rode for 17 minutes. That's 2 whole more minutes than I had planned on riding. Honestly, I didn't get my heart rate up much. But the truth is, that I just wanted to get my joints and muscles used to repetitive rotations of the pedals. And believe me, all parts of my legs and feet groaned!!! But soon I was spinning.
I have been watching what I eat for a few days. The weekend kill me. Pete isn't the most healthy of eaters....pizza, bacon...whatever is good for clogging arteries. Of course he didn't force me to eat any of it...I'm WEAK!!! But in the mornings I have been so good! I have had yogurt and a breakfast bar. Part of my problem is that I get to where I feel like I am going to die about 10:30AM. My breakfast had worn off. So then I have to snack. I have been picking healthier snacks lately (a protein bar and some blue berries today)...but it hasn't always been this way for me. Those bite size candy bars...that which we give to our patients to show our love for them...too easy to snag for a quick PICK ME UP! Evil things!
This evening, I came home, ate spaghetti with meatballs for dinner. I had a Healthy Choice or Lean Cuisine for lunch...butternut squash ravioli...very tasty!! At any rate, after I ate, I felt like I needed to get in some more exercise time. We are all supposed to exercise a total of 30 minutes a day.
I asked Pete to hook up the pull behind trailer for Lyndi. Lila grabbed her bike (after much whining and crying about her helmet not doing right). Off we went on a Tour de Comer! Riding with a whiney 7 year old that insists that her life is miserable and she just cant do it is not really my idea of family quality time. But we all made it back home alive!!! Lila only cried 3 times during the whole jaunt. We rode for 40 minutes. I think I pedaled about 20 minutes of those 40! It was actually more painful trying to ride slow than it was to actually get out and ride!! But if I was able to burn at least one calorie....such is life huh?
So enough of what probably sounds like a bunch of fussing and whining on my part! I need to be accountable to someone! I'm hoping that perhaps getting the word out that I am tired of toting around my tube will keep me motivated. Plus, a friend of mine has asked me to consider doing a triathlon. I stressed my extreme concern over not being able to swim very well...she said I could swim in her family's pond. Reckon the bottom is all mucky and has weird creatures lurking in the mud?Hmmm?
Me a triathlon? A TRIATHLETE? That sounds really cool. Maybe I will be able to do it. Maybe I wont. But I am considering it. I have friends that have done such things. I also have friends that run marathons. Is it too far out to think that I could participate? We will see. Today is day ONE for me. I hope I make it to day TWO!! I mean day 22! :)

This and That

How about a little collective randomness? It's all I have to offer tonight. I used to have things to rant about.....Just having a complete thought these days...hmmm...
So, I'm completely burned out on hearing about the death of Micheal Jackson. I'm so tired of it, that I prefer to only speak of this individual (if I have to say ANYTHING at all!!) as MJ. When MJ died, several other famous individuals passed within days of the "Kind of Pop." Not much was said about any of those other famous people. What a shame too. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Karl Malden (one of my favorites!!). I will never forget Farrah's performance in the movie "Extremities"! What a hard core stalker film! Farrah ends up showing her stalker who's the boss...a fire poker and bug spray in the eyes will get them every time! It was a thriller to say the least! Of course, there is the Charlie's Angels show...the greatest memory I have of that was the hair. I was so young then. I'm not going to begin to pretend that I remember a lot about it. I was more impressed with shows like CHIPS or EMERGENCY! Go figure! For a girl like me to remember hot law enforcement and EMS folks over a bunch of hip hugger wearing chicks!
This weekend we went to pick up our girlies from a week long stay at Grandma's house in Augusta! It was a long hard week for me. They drive me absolutely nuts when they are home, but it hurts my heart to have them away from me! Lyndi was thrilled beyond belief to see me! There is nothing better! Lila was excited and very loving...she sat with me a lot this weekend and scratched my back for me. She is such a love bug. Too bad she is bossy and rude to her little sister a lot of the time. They could be so good for each other! Best friends for life! Maybe one day!
But let me say that Grandma worked a miracle for us this weekend!! Lyndi has been paci FREE for one week! Tonight when she went to bed, she didn't even ask for it! She did hem and haw a good bit trying to get settled back into her own bed and room, but WHO CARES?!! SHE DOES HAVE A PACI!!! I was really beginning to think that she would be walking down the isle with her "Fassi" in her mouth...teeth all jacked up from having gnawed and sucked on that thing for too long!! Thank YOU GRANDMA!!! You may only have one nerve left in your who body after their visit...but you went the extra mile for us!
Tonight we met our new neighbors...all three! They seem like nice people. He is the new principle at the High School and she is an elementary school teacher. Their little girl is Lyndi's age. I had visions of those two growing up and getting into trouble with each other. I hope that's how it works out. I know that principles can be a lot like pastors and have short stays. Maybe they will call this their home for good. The principle told my girls that they could come over and play ANY TIME.....I told him that I thought he might come to regret that invitation, as my girls will probably drive them nuts. On the way over to their house, toting a plate of hot brownies and butter pecan icecream...Pete said that he thought we should go over and give our condolences to them...for having US as their neighbors! I promise, right here and right now...that I will TRY not to bug them or allow our children to bug them....too much! I doubt if they will ever hear a peep out of Pete. Not unless the principle decides to take up cycling as hobby!
Speaking of Cycling....I'm a cycling WIDOW this week! The Tour de France started up again! I could have sworn that it usually took place in April..but BEHOLD its in July! Pete even upgraded out tv selections so that he could watch it! Mr. Tightwad came off some money...for the TOUR. Hmmmm He reassured me that we will also be getting several other movie channels too....not that that makes a hill of beans when he is vegged out in front of the TOUR every evening taking up every opportunity to watch some fabulous other show or movie...RIGHT?
So I've broken 150 I think. 152 on Pete's mom's scale. I think that Augusta has more gravitational pull there. So I dont know that that was correct. However, I will say that it appears that I have regressed to being 7 months pregnant...at least in my own mind. I asked Pete to set my bike up on the trainer. I am thinking that I might want to start getting up at 6AM to work out. Wonder how long that will last? I've got to do something. 40 is coming on me fast! I have heard from several people that at 37 something really bad goes wrong with a woman's metabolism...why at 37 I dont have a clue...IVE GOT TO DO THIS THANG! I'd hate to have to bust out some maternity wear just cause I can't put down the sweet tea and biscuits!
Anyway, as a final sort of note...I found my dream car. Its a GMC (Government owned Motor Corp according to Pete) Acadia. I saw one this weekend. It has all the bells and whistles I have been dreaming about...and space. It seats 7. It has two captain's chairs in the middle and a bench in the back. It has a drop down DVD player. Can you say SWEEEEEETTTT??? The only problem that I have with it...the model I looked at was about 44k. Can you repeat after me..... OUCH!!?? So Ill be dreaming a little while longer on that one I guess. I sure do wish that I could win the lottery! We keep forgetting to play though...that doesn't help!
AWWWW and I thought I was at my last point...Im not. I have to say that I am SOOOOOO thankful to our GOOD LORD that he has blessed my friend Shannon Reid with a healthy, sweet, baby girl named Kylie! Shannon had open heart surgery while we were in NURSING SCHOOL! Yep she fell out right there on the Cardiac floor while we were having clinicals...how appropriate! So after having had open heart, gall bladder removal and a cardiac ablation for SVT (just like her sister Marci!!!)...she was able to have a child! Thank you GOD! AND some more AWESOME news!!!!....Missy and Marty (from Church) are having a baby BOY! Missy had had the most unfortunate experiences with losing 3 pregnancies...and God has blessed them with this fine little boy! I can not WAIT for him to come into this world! Thank YOU AGAIN LORD!
Can I just add one more thing??? Yeah I know, I dont write in ages and then I write a novel....I took some cold medicine so I guess my brain has decided to start working....no more pressure from my ears CLOSING IN ON MY THOUGHTS!!!
Anyway this final thought (for real!). While were were in Augusta at the river, waiting to see fireworks, something very interesting happened. We were sitting in the ampitheatre waiting (and waiting and waiting) to see the display....the girls were climbing all over the bleachers playing....up and down and back and forth.....When these two men came and sat down next to us. Now understand that there was plenty of room around and there was no need whatsoever for them to sit next to us...but these two men came and sat down from me about 5 feet. Those two men creeped me out. I instantly felt kind of sick to my stomach. I felt nervous and anxious. I felt something coming off of them that made my flesh crawl. And Lila suddenly said "Mama, I want to go!" She instantly moved away from them. And I added that I TOO WANTED TO LEAVE!!! And those two men got up and left! I asked Lila why she wanted to leave. She said that those men made her feel weird. After they left, I felt fine and Lila acted fine. It was the strangest thing. But I explained to Lila that if she EVER felt like that again, she needed to get away. God blesses us with intuition for a reason. And the thing is that those men weren't dirty or dressed in an unusual way...but something about them SCREAMED OUT at me and Lila!!! I told Lila that if she ever felt that way again, she should tell me. My radar was working and so was hers but if for some reason my radar was down, I wanted her to tell me. Always trust your instincts...ALWAYS!

Church dodgers

This past Sunday....yep we layed out of church! I know, I know what you might be thinking...we are Heathens....or are we really??? According to my beautiful seven year old that is hugely wise beyond her years...we most certainly ARE NOT! And let me say this: If the only thing in life that I ever teach my children, it what Lila had to say...then I have done an incredible job!
Sunday, instead of going to church, we went over to our neighbors house (along with a few other of our neighbors...what awesome souls they are!!) and helped clean up several fallen trees in our neighbor's yard. If you have ever had a tree cut down by a tree service, you know that they charge hundreds of dollars to come out. Well, I don't know about you, but we don't have hundreds of nothing just lying around...except maybe bills and fire ants!
Anyway, not trying to brag or anything but when we got those trees cut up and burned...her backyard was a vision! She was so proud and so grateful! She of course said that she would do anything in the world for all of us to repay us...but the truth is...there is no debt to be paid!
Well, after me telling a certain person that I may be married to...who will go nameless in THIS BLOG....that we were going to be doing this clearing on Sunday...this person said that it sounded too much like WORKING on Sunday..and we aren't supposed to WORK ON SUNDAY!! Protest as this person may...this person had to get the chainsaw and GET TO WORK!!! So I told Lila to repeat what she said to me to this person...that might be related to her and resemble her very own dad...AND THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID (Remember please that she is 7):

Daddy, its ok that we aren't going to church today to learn about God...we are going to go help someone and do what God really wants us to do...by helping others!

And what can a person say against that? God does not live within the four walls of the church. He tells us to "Love our neighbor." And unfortunately Sunday was the only day that all of us could get together to help out.

Does this mean that every Sunday we will do this...no. But since Pete and I can't help people financially or fix their cars for them or file their taxes for them...whatever...this is what we CAN DO. We had the time, the chainsaws and the physical strength to do it. Unfortunately for our neighbor, she wasn't physically able to handle this type of job and didn't have the tools to do it.

I'm so glad that we got to help out. I find tasks like this to be very gratifying. I know that this "good deed" isn't going to move me up a few notches en route to Heaven. I relish in the thought that I don't have to do good deeds to get to Heaven, Jesus has already paid the price for me to get in! But I do feel so good helping others, loving others and being able to SEE the fruits of our labor!

You know, I always have really appreciated random acts of kindness. Our neighbor never asked us to help her...we volunteered! We called and told her that we were going to and she accepted! :) We knew she had a need. I would love to challenge anyone that if you know of a need and it's within your means or capability....just do it! There is nothing more personally rewarding! And I know that's selfish thinking...but it just tickles me to death to think that we were able to lessen her burden!! Would we not want someone to come along and help us carry our burdens, randomly without having to ask? or beg?

Hold a door for someone, pay a tab or bill, pick up dropped papers, cut someone's grass, offer to walk a person's dog, cook a meal, paint a picture or just stop by and say hi....random acts of kindness can change a person's outlook on their day or on their whole life. I have heard stories of people, teetering on the edge of life...planning to take their life...and some person shows them just a bit of kindness and the hopeless person sees that their life is worth living and that they are worth being here on this Earth!

Pay it forward please!

What a truck load!

This past weekend, Pete and I went and looked at trucks. He drives a smaller truck that has a V8..which is fine for pulling our camper....BUT a larger full size truck would pull our camper much smoother and with less effort! So we went to 2 different places looking. We compared to two largest competing American made trucks. We were really liking both makes pretty well!
But then when it came down to the money issue....We fell in love with the moderately priced version of one truck....til it all came down to the payments.
The sales man, after coming up with the payment figure kind of seemed to hesitate for a minute or two, trying to find the best delivery for what he had to say......
"I'm thinking that it would come out about, maybe it would be about, its looking like..."
WAIT FOR IT>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"7 and a quarter a month!" HUH? I think I yelled out "STANK!!!!" Pete's face took on the most contorted sort of expression I have ever seen! I had to actually laugh out loud! There was no poker face to be found in the room!!! SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE FREAKIN DOLLARS A MONTH! And that was a rough estimate! Maybe about 400 too rough! *sigh* We would be leaving that beauty in the lot!
Pete said once we got back in his truck...that after $725 a month, his little ole truck didn't seem so terrible after all! It pulled the camper fine, drove fine and was just generally fine over all!
Our first house payment in Milledgeville wasn't even that much!! And as far as I saw, there wasn't any indoor plumbing in that truck!!!
So which brings to mind something.....
Take a good look next time you are riding down the road! How many big old pick up trucks do you see? THOUSANDS around this town! And lots of them are brand spanking new! How do people afford those things? I realize that business owners use them to haul and such....But the average Joe? How does he feed his kids, have a mortgage and drive a big truck? And Im not talking the used trucks! I realize that you can get a pretty good deal on a middle decade truck with some mileage on it. Im talking about 2009 or 2010 CREW CAB, full bed pickups.
Anyway, we will have to wait on that! Hopefully little ole Blue will hang in there for us! All of our neighbors say that they know when Pete is coming and going! Our neighbor across the street said that she used to judge what time she needed to have her child ready for school by when she heard his truck!!! OH ITS LOUD! AND NOT BY OUR CHOICE! Someone thought it would be a good idea to put loud mufflers on it...I guess if they couldnt have a big truck, they would at least make it sound like a big truck!

Super Highway Vacation

I survived ONE entire week without FACEBOOK or the Internet! I know it sounds pathetic!! But my life and my connectedness is directly related to how much time I get to spend checking my email or cruising FB. It is sad, I know! But its about like someone not having a cell phone and texting. I don't get to talk to my friends via the phone very often...Pete may argue this point....but the truth is that I do not get to talk to people much face to face, via phone or otherwise. Most of my communication has been limited to FB and emails. We all have such busy lives.
Recently a friend of mine was a little miffed that I had not been the best of friends and had not actively been in touch. I also had not set up any sort of socialization outside of Church and work. As I explained to her VIA FB, I don't have a life! I don't socialize and I don't get to go and do lots of fun things. I am about as exciting as a slug. Much to my friend Sherrie's dismay, I was ready to go to bed by 9:30PM the whole time we were at the Women of Joy conference!! Yeah, I know....I went a little over board!! I stayed up until 10PM. WOOOHOOO!!! But truthfully, that was only because Sherrie just kept wanting to talk and hang out. I begged her to let me go to sleep!!
Anyway, this past week, Pete, the girls and I went camping at Unicoi State park near Helen, GA. We had a great time. Iris the dog came with us. We didn't have such a great time in the truck on the way up or back...with the girls fighting constantly in the back seat! But the rest of the time was pretty stinking fun! We swam at the "beach" (the lake water was so clear there that we could SEE the fish swimming around us!!). We hiked the Appalachian trail. What a magnificent example of God's creation! We went tubing down the river in Helen! I really, really enjoyed that! We just generally had a great time! And it did not even rain on us until the last night!! What a miracle for us!
As we were hiking up the Appalachian trail, Pete and I talked about how we wished that we had lived our lives differently. Why when we were single folk, didn't we spend more time hiking and camping with friends or some such thing? We really enjoyed hiking a lot. We talked about going hiking some weekend with out the girls, up the trail. I love to camp and I think that Pete and I would have a great time. Maybe we could hike about 10miles or so a day, camp and hike some more. I really need to put my mind to that and make it happen...and not just talk about it. There really isn't a good reason why we shouldn't or can't do it. Well, other than needing to find someone to watch the girls for the weekend. We are both in good health and CAN DO IT! Of course, we both had the Jello legs after having to switch off back and forth carrying Lyndi up and down the mountain! WHEW! 2 year olds aren't the best hikers in the world! For that matter, 7 yr olds aren't the greatest of hikers at a certain point. If they don't have a set end point...just hiking up some dumb old trail doesn't make a lot of sense...especially when its rough terrain and they could be playing at the beach or something!!!
This week, I spent lots of time with Joyce Meyer! I can't think of the name of the book, but it deals with finding PEACE and JOY in our lives! She is such a wonderful writer and minister of God's Word. I really appreciated what she had to say! What wonderful timing too! We all have stress and some form of conflict in our lives. It is so wonderful to have a reminder that we should focus on God and live for TODAY. Our past and the future are not the here and now. We have no control over either. We can't change the past or the future. And worry gets us NO WHERE!!
All week, I kept wishing that I had access to my blog or even a notebook to write in! There were so many things I wanted to share from the week! I guess it wouldn't be much of a vacation if I was still PLUGGED IN though!
This week, I got to spend a lot of quality time with the girls. I got to love on them and play with them more than I have in a long time. I have two very special, beautiful girls! The world we live in, nature, is absolutely mind blowing! I saw so many amazing species of plants and flowers that I have never seen before. God really went all out! The girls and I even stood about 15 feet away from a young deer and watched it feed. It walked almost right up to us! Lyndi hollering and Iris whining did not even make it run off.
After we returned home, I got to thinking that there are many things that we don't do...like just randomly going hiking or whatever. I don't do many things for FUN! I hope that I won't keep on that same path. Life is racing by...I don't want to miss out on living it!

Almost 5pm on Friday!

Well its Thursday! I've been looking forward to 5PM on Friday. Friday evening begins a long week of vacation for me. I haven't had a vacation in a very long time. Vacation meaning....not working! What all we will do during this time off from work...I don't know and I don't care! Just to have time off is such a peaceful thought! I see camping in our future...more roasted (blackened) marshmallow smores!
What a praise I have to mention! Adam, one of the two young mention that I blogged about a few posts ago, was in church on Sunday! How awesome to have him home. He spent weeks at MCG hospital in Augusta in ICU! His injuries consisted of but were not limited to: a fractured pelvis, tear in his face about 4 inches long extending from his mouth to his cheek, fractures in his face and bruised spleen (and liver I think). He really went through it! But he is back...a little thinner but still looking great! For that we are all grateful! I mentioned that we were praying those boys up (Tyler too!!!)!! God has been so good!
I am asking for prayers for my friend Cutina Pearson. She has been in and out of the hospital for an abscess in her back. Its located under the skin. It has been drained and drainage tubes were placed. Evidently she has scar tissue and infection in the wound. Please pray for her healing. She still remains ever FAITHFUL to our Lord! Cutina is a wonderful child of God!
I am still waiting and listening for instructions from God about work. I can't help but think that the answer was not just to stay where I am at and that's that. I think there is more. I'm not saying that he doesn't want me to stay where I am at. I just think that he is using us as part of a bigger picture. I think that there are pieces to this puzzle that have yet to be placed to achieve a master piece. Are there going to bumps and bruises along the way? I suspect so. Whenever you are dealing with people that don't have the same values and beliefs, there is always the chance that things aren't going to be handled in a Christian way. Too bad for us! :) But God will persevere! I just cant wait to see what happens. Either way...it will be for God's greatest good. I just pray that God will place a stronghold around us and protect us from too many insults and injuries.
I worked with a great patient today. She really made me chuckle! There are some amazing, beautiful people in this world! she really got me tickled when she hopped up and down, trying desperately to work a pair of boa constrictor pantyhose up!! She is a lady in her late 60's with a heavy Spanish accent, going on and on about how awful pantyhose really are ! PRICELESS! What a great woman!
I am still looking forward to 5PM on Friday...hopefully I will be able to enjoy some great patients tomorrow that make me smile. Otherwise Ill have to think of my little lady and her panty hose hop! Is there any wonder really that the work PANTy has the word PANT in it...they sure make you pant like a dog when you are trying to get them on!

Be Still

In the words of the great comedian, Jeff Foxworthy, "Here's your sign..." Why is it that some of us literally need a sign? I'm really just speaking of myself. It's so wonderful when God has the messages he needs you to know on the local store signs or church billboards located near your house or on your drive into work!!
This past week has been the toughest week I have had since I began working at my job. As I have said before, I love my job. I feel like I am there for a reason. And one of the greatest perks of my job is that I get to work with my dearest friend Sherrie. And recently, my dear friend and former neighbor Kitty began working with us. I couldn't be happier! But, I also couldn't be sadder when I felt like I was being betrayed by management. It's a long messy story and not one that needs to be shared. There is nothing to gain by trudging through all of that muck. But the way that God has spoken to my heart in the past few days is what is important.
First off, Sherrie and I recently went to a "Women of Joy" conference in Charleston. We had an amazing time. We had the opportunity to share the weekend with some of the sweetest ladies from my church. After that conference we all vowed to put on our joyful crown and be strong and happy! Who would have thought that upon returning home that Satan would be trying to beat the doors down to steal that crown of Joy!!
Don't get me wrong, there are always going to be troubles and trials in our lives. I know that. I don't love it though. I realize that sometimes it the harder times that we Christians feel the closest to God. At least those are the times that we seem to lean more on HIM!
Unfortunately though, after we returned, life kept on going and not everyone got the same beautiful, uplifting, praise worthy messages that we got while we were in Charleston!! Too bad too!
Anyway, there has been some tremendous drama at work. Sherrie and I have both probably helped Kleenex stock rise in value here lately!! Preparation-H probably could have used us as spokes women to demonstrate how well their product works on puffiness under the eyes! At any rate, at the risk of sounding like there has been a big pity party going on...there hasn't...but there is a lesson in all of this!!
For several days and even for the last few weeks, I have been praying for God to show me what he wants me to be doing with my life. I really don't think that we should ever just be sitting around on the sofa lounging spiritually thinking that this is all that it is and God doesn't have other great stuff that he wants us to be doing. So I ask God regularly to show me what he wants me to do.
When these hard issues came up at work, I began praying to God to PLEASE show me what he wants me to do. Does he want me to stay working where I am? Does he have another plan for me? I figured that if God did have other plans that he would let me know by opening up another job for me. I was ready to hang it up at VI. So I called a lady that is the director at one of the hospitals in town. I had seen some job postings that I thought would be interesting. I thought that surely God would have one open to let me escape to. But please SHOW ME!
After talking to the director, I found out that she not only didn't have any positions but did not know of any positions that I would be able to fill. My heart sank. Did that mean that God was not answering me right now? qWas I waiting? Was I supposed to stay at VI? What God? WHAT?
Yesterday I began to have an epiphany. Suddenly, I was no longer thinking with my mind about ME and MY situation. I began to see the situationS at hand through the eyes of several people. There were several struggles going on. There were battles being fought that had nothing to do with me. Other people were hurting as well and feeling betrayed. In our lifetime, we will all experience that. How we deal with the perceived betrayal is what separates the Women of Joy from the Women of Distress! And Sherrie and I both had begun to feel our crowns of Joy start to slip off of our heads. Satan had begun to win.....to steal our Joy....to steal what we knew ourselves to be as Christian women that are good, honorable, faithful, loving and joyful!
I reminded myself early in this that I better stick to praying and trying to listen. I'm glad that I did!! Because this morning, God decided to post HIS sign! Just down the road from my house in Colbert, there is a little children's clothing shop with a billboard sign out front. Periodically they change the Bible verse on it...perhaps a message to some other person that had been praying for a SIGN!!
This morning however, the sign had been changed from whatever verse it had been the day before. It read, "Be Still and Know that I AM GOD." I knew that that was what I had been praying for....Peace. Peace and knowledge that God had this situation under control. No matter what I felt I needed to worry about or fret about...God had it all! When I got to work, I gave Sherrie a card that I had written some words of encouragement in last night. In the card, I told her that I KNEW that God had a plan for us. I felt like God had been telling me to WAIT....as God often does! WAIT...that's a tough one for me! I usually want it all and want it NOW!!!
And as I drove past that sign and read the message that hollered out to me MARCI!! HERE'S YOUR SIGN...I scrawled the message on the back of the envelope for Sherrie.....

Be still and know that I am God---God

I was so excited to give that card to Sherrie because I knew that what I had written on the inside...was exactly what God wanted us to know...and it was confirmed on the side of the ole bill board sign outside the Kid's Clothing Consignment shop in Colbert, GA.

Sherrie admitted to me that through all of this, she was sad to say that she had not been praying. She had been reacting. She had not been still. It seemed as though (I type this now with tears in my eyes) a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She knew that her burden did not have to be her own. God was there, waiting peacefully and quietly, for Sherrie and I both to be STILL. He would work this all out. He would show us what we needed to do for HIM next. He would handle all the strife. He would wrap his loving arms around us and allow us to just breathe. What a huge Blessing!

Tonight as I was sitting in the tub listening to the new CD I just bought after having seen comedian Chonda Pierce at the Women of Joy conference....Chonda began to speak of a personal experience in her life. A time when God told her....Just be still and KNOW that I am God. She sang a beautiful song called " My Soul Will Wait." And I thought...You know Marci.....HERE'S YOUR SIGN. Thank you God!

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Today was such a pleasant day! Church was a great blessing! Everything seemed a little brighter, a little sweeter and a little more exciting!
After Church, my bed began calling. I'm not sure why this happens. After lunch, about the time Lyndi has to go down for a nap, I too begin feeling overwhelmingly sleepy! At least I'm not falling asleep in chuch huh? So as part of our Sunday ritual, Lyndi and took a nap. After our hour or so of leisure, I got up and GOT TO IT!
Pete and I raked and cleared our front island. The poor thing looked so overgrown! Weed killer has not been a friend to us in the front yard. I think its been about as effective as the French army......
We raked and raked. Pete hauled off several wheelbarrow loads. I am willing to bet there are a dozen more piles just waiting to be hauled off. But I'm afraid that Pete and I both are "give out." I think its looking a lot better. We discussed what it would be like to have a nice 20k budget to give to a landscaper and say "have at it!" It's just a dream though. We both know that at the end of the day, it will be us with the peeling skin from the blisters we acquired from too much raking. Did I happen to mention that I have a blister on the inside of my pinkie finger?? Ouch! What a blessing to be ABLE to get out and do such tasks!! I think its refreshing to be able to labor manually. Would I want to do it every day of my life as an occupation? No. I especially wouldn't want to have to work out in the heat and humidity of our fair State!
The past week and half or so have been some of the most trying days that I can remember in a while. The murders of our Town and Gown folks has left a small dark cloud hanging over my head. Every day and every night, Pete and I watch the news to see if there has been any change or updates in the investigation and search for the mad professor. I think about the professor's poor children and the families of the victims of the shootings. I liken this sort of heinous crime to the murder of that young girl, Meredith Emerson by a serial killer in the North Georgia mountains. I think that there is no difference between what the professor did and that serial killer. It sickens me. Fortunately for Meredith, she did get to fight back and hurt her attacker. The T&G folks didn't have a chance.
I am also keeping in my prayers two young men that go to our church. Tyler and Adam were in a terrible car accident last week. Tyler suffered a broken collarbone and Adam sustained multiple, traumatic injuries. Adam is at the MCG in Augusta in ICU. He is supposed to have surgery on his pelvis this week. He suffered a bit of a set back after having aspiration pneumonia.
Tyler was at church today. It was so great to see him. Evidently he is carrying the weight of this accident around on his shoulders. He made a left turn in front of car. The car struck the passenger side where Adam was seated. How do you explain to someone that these things happen? I know he feels horrible. But the thing is that a mistake is not in any way a mal intention. I think that Tyler would gladly take Adam's place right now if it meant that his friend would not be hurting and in tough shape. But Tyler has to know that he and Adam are being prayed up right now. Their names are being flooded before God like an over flowing river! God has got them right in his merciful hand!
Have I mentioned lately how grateful I am for my family? I love my husband. I love my children. I love my stepson. Do we have good days and bad? Do my children about send me over the edge sometimes? Does Pete not get on my last nerve being bossy or just plain aggravating? Sure. But I love them. I love being able to hold Pete's hand when I have a migraine that is about to kill me. I love being able to snuggle up next to Lila in the backseat of my little car on the way down to celebrate Granny's 95th birthday. I love having Lyndi come up to me and say "I lud you too Mama!" I'm so grateful for them. Really grateful!

Joyful news

It seems that here lately, there has been so much BAD or negative news coming at all of us from around the world and in our own little communities. I am so happy to report that two of my friends, both named Missy just recently found out that they are going to be mommies!!
Missy and her husband Marty have been trying for a number of years and after a few failed pregnancies to get pregnant again. They just were able to hear the heart beat of their little baby!! How awesome!
My other friend Missy and her husband Todd recently found out that they had been chosen by a birth mom to be the parents of her baby! They had been trying for years and years to get pregnant. They had even tried to adopt a couple of years ago but to no avail.
So many people have been praying for both couples. I am grateful that God has chosen both couples to be parents. Both couples are so very special and great people! I thought it was so interesting to see that there were something like 76 comments on Missy J's Facebook page congratulating her on her excellent news! Thats a whole lot of well wishes! Obviously they are well thought of!
All I can say is....God is GOOD! Thank you for blessing two wonderful couples!

Sadness

What a great weekend to have this weekend! I was really thinking that I would slide into the weekend and be miserable. On Friday, I accidently ended up squishing my right index finger in the door of the car. I thought perhaps my finger would prevent me from being able to really do a whole lot. I was finally able to have relief Friday night. One would not think that such a small thing could really mess you up.....try it!! I am right handed and the blow was devastating. My whole hand hurt. My finger WHUP WHUPed for 24 hours. No fun!!
Saturday Pete, Lila and I went downtown to the Twilight Criterium. We had been to an earlier bike race to watch Pete's friend John ride. There is nothing in the world like cycling! What a great sport! But Saturday evening we had dinner at Doc Chey's downtown. It was delightful really. The crowd began to flock to downtown. We watched the hand cycle race which is always AWESOME!! Guys and one awesome lady ride hand cycles because they are either paraplegic or amputees. What amazing athletes!!! I dont know how they do it! Their arms are as big as some of the regular cyclists legs!!!
We then watched a kid ride. If I had had a camera with me, I would have taken a picture of this little 2-3 yr old little girl with helmet, elbow pads, knee pads and training wheels go toodling around the block as serious and determined as one of the grownups. Everyone cheered for this little beauty on her bike!!
The ladies raced next. We stood in front of the Georgia Theatre, just as we have for the last several years. We aren't really sickos waiting for folks to crash....really!! But there was a crash right in front of us. Fortunately not one of the two ladies were seriously injured. On a couple of occcasions as the ladies road by, their pedals would clip the baracade making a sound....ahhh just a little too close!!! How exciting!! Talk about something that will get your heart racing!!!
Despite all of the fun and excitement of the weekend, there was a horrible event that loomed over me like a dark cloud. One of the professors at UGA, ended up killing his wife and two other gentlemen at our local Town and Gown theatre. I felt personally weighted down by this horrible killing because my friend Kris had recently been divorced from one of the fellows that was murdered. They had a daughter together. When I heard about what happened, my first thought was to whether or not Kris had either been a witness or if she could have been one of the ones hurt in the shootings. Since none of the family members had been notified that their loved one had been murdered, the names had not been released. But I had heard that a person with Kris' last name had been killed. I was so scared that Kris had been harmed. I had found out that in fact it was her ex-husband. I was sick. All night last night, all I could do was think of Kris and her daughter. I thought about the families of the other victims. Evidently the professor and his wife had two young children. I can not imagine what life is like for them right now without a mom and a dad that is MIA. He is either on the run or decided that he would put and end to things himself.
Since Pete works for the Office of Security and Emergency prepardness at UGA, this is the exact sort of thing that they spend hours and hours educating students, facutly and staff about ALL THE TIME. People just think that Athens is just such a cute, little town that nothing ever happens in. The people at Virginia Tech and Columbine High thought the same thing....I know they did. Its easy to think that "Nothing like that will ever happen here." People, we are in the middle of a crisis. Our economy stinks. People are jobless. Depression and anxiety are on the rise. Drug addiction and alcohol abuse is way too prevalent. We have to take our heads out of the sand.
We have to stop thinking that we can walk alone outside at midnight, cuss people while we are driving and ignore strange, threatening comments that people make. Im not saying that we all need to be cynical and think that everyone in the world has gone bad. That's not the case. But the fact is that people are crying out for help all over this world. Too many people have anger management problems. We are a living in a world of hurt. And the truth is that not enough people know why were are here on this Earth. Not enough people have Faith in God. And too many folks feel utterly alone.
Ok so how do we fix this? What am I trying to say? We all just have to be more aware. We need to keep our eyes and ears open. We need to pray more and stop JUST TALKING ABOUT IT a lot less! We need to stop placing ourselves in situations that our internal warning system is blaring out that SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT. We need to stop thinking that nothing is ever going to happen here and prepare. Stop this false thinking that if we just have our cell phones in our hands so that we can dial 911, we will all be OK.
Women, we must know how to fight back. We must be educating our children about bullies, weapons (particularly guns) and strangers. As employers, we must stop turning a blind eye to folks that seem a little unstable and a bit hotheaded. If a person is making threatening comments on Myspace or in a blog....someone should seriously think about reporting it. We have to be careful and aware. That's all Im saying.
Should we all run out to Walmart and buy a shot gun now? Well....I dont know the answer to that. But I do think it is a good idea to learn some self defense and a little verbal judo. I also think its a good idea to keep our own wits about us and stop flying off the handle every time someone cuts us off while we are driving. For goodness sakes, we all get to where we are supposed to go in good time.

MoreTalent Than American Idol

Matthew 25:14-30, in the Bible, is the Parable of the Talents. The study Bible I read says that a talent was a sum of money equal to about 2 years wages for a person. In this parable, a wealthy man entrusts a couple of men with a certain number of "talents" of the financial sort. One of the men that received a talent buried his for fear of having his master's money taken. One man invested the money and grew the talents. At the end of the parable, the one who used the talents and grew them was rewarded by being placed in charge of many things. The one who did nothing with the talent except bury it in the ground was thrown out into the darkness where he wept.
This parable is referencing the talents, gifts or opportunities that God gives to each of us. In Sunday school class, we have all filled out a spiritual gifts assessment form. It allows us to see how God has blessed us so that he can use us in service to Him. My strongest gifts lie in Mercy and Pastoring/Shepherding. Human compassion is where my heart lies. I am a comforter. I also want people to know about God and have a relationship with him. Being that I love people, this is not an uncomfortable talent for me. I do still wish that I had a great singing voice though! But I know that this is not a talent that he wished for me to have.
I remember when I was working at the cancer treatment center that I had been speaking with a family member about being a nurse. She had asked me how in the world I could work with cancer patients all day long. I love it! But I told her that I felt like being a nurse was doing God's work. Loving and caring for others all day long is exactly what I think Jesus would do....so WWJD?? I think that nursing others would be high on his priority list! She said to me in sort of an ashamed way, that she wished that she had a gift like that from God. She didn't think that she had a talent or gift. She worked as a waitress. I told her that being a nurse might seem like an obvious gift...caring and loving others. But I bet that God used her in other ways to help others. I bet that when she came in contact with patrons of that restaurant, that her bright, beautiful smile was a gift from God that probably brought comfort to weary souls. And the simple gesture of offering someone a hot cup of coffee and a little kindness went a long way. We don't ever know what every person is going through in their personal lives. We don't always see the weariness that people have down in their souls. A quick pat on the shoulder, a small hug, a "HI how are you?" or just a great smile can turn a person's entire life around. Sometimes all a person needs is a little ray of hope to help them get through to the next day....a sweet smile and pat on the back could provide that little ray!
I think that sometimes we think that we should all be blessed with beautiful voices to be able to sing praise to God and show that we are faithful servants. We discount the simple things about us that really make us special as Christians. But really, when God decides to bless us with a talent, we are to use what God has given us, we aren't to hand it back saying, " awww why couldn't I do what so and so is doing?" If we were all meant to sing, who would give out the hugs? If we all were supposed to give out hugs, who would keep up with the tithes?
Its just like our career choices....God makes someone that wants to do every sort of job. I love being a nurse! But I met a woman who said that her son had dreamed of driving large farming equipment since he was a little kid. He was now in his 20's living his dream and couldn't be happier! I personally wouldn't be happy doing that young man's job! But someone's got to do it! God burdens each one of us with the desire to do something....unfortunately its not always clear to each of us exactly what God wants us to do with our lives and our talents. As a matter of fact, I didn't know that I wanted to be a nurse, I only knew that I wanted to SERVE/HELP others. Well, I could have gone down several different avenues to achieve this goal...I did start out in law enforcement! But I ended up in nursing and feel very fulfilled in this field. Who's to say that I wouldn't have the same satisfaction working in a little coffee house where I could meet and talk to people all day? Either way, I am using the talent that God has blessed me with. And I am thankful for all other Christians that are using their talents as well....that sweet, welcoming smile and that hot cup of coffee go a really long way when my spirits are low and I need a little reminder that God loves me no matter what!

Ahhh Sweet Misery

Tonight I went to our Church's Women's meeting. We are having it quarterly instead of monthly now. If you want to look at it as saving up for the best....I would say that that was definitely accomplished! God was such a part of this program tonight. If a person was there and did not feel it....they were tuned in to the wrong channel!
A young woman named Jessica spoke tonight about her son Zach. One year ago, Zach passed at the age of 5 months. He was born severely premature. As all babies fight when being premature, Zach fought and won the battle for 5 whole months. When he passed, he was a smidge over 10 pounds. That was 10 pounds of fight! Ultimately, after having been diagnosed with pneumonia and having been on the respirator, his parents made the ultimate sacrifice and let Jesus take him home. What a huge unselfish act to allow a child, a person the opportunity to have peace and to feel their love for a moment without having life forced upon him.
Zach, being a miracle just being himself, taught Jessica and her family so much more about God's love for all of us. God did not choose to heal Zach in the sense that he is still here today. Instead, God, allowed Zach's little light to shine all over this state, the United States and around the world. Jessica said that people from literally all of the world sent them emails on their Care Page (on the Internet). Zach touched many lives. Many, many people prayed for Zach. His mom Jessica said that some people even came to be saved after having heard about Zach and his story.
Jessica and her husband's story of faith was definitely inspiring. Would they much rather have their little boy with them then to have a beautiful story of inspiration to tell? I would be willing to bet a million dollars on that. But because they chose to allow God to have control, they were blessed with a beautiful, "perfect" little boy, the opportunity to love him and get to see first hand, God's perfect love.
The point was made that through all of this that at times, Jessica and her husband did question God and God's plan. Who wouldn't?! But the beautiful thing about this is that God does not condemn us for questioning. God expresses his love for us and continues to wrap his arms around us in our weakest of moments. That's what makes trusting in God so amazing...the harder it gets, the harder he holds on to us. The more we look to HIM, the more he allows us to see HIM and to feel HIM.
I told Jessica, that I thought it was so great to finally get to meet Zach's MOM in person. I had been hearing her name (her whole family's names) for a long time. I knew Zach's name. Jessica's friend Sadie, is in my Sunday school class and she ever diligently kept Zach on the prayer list. We all prayed for little Zach! But the thought hit me as I was thinking about her and her testimony....You know how when you meet someone, you hear,"Oh this is Zach's mom?" Or HI LILA's MOM!! they don't have a clue what my name really is but Im identified as being my daughter's parent....How beautiful and special that I could say tonight "OH THAT'S ZACH'S MOM!! So though he may not be here on this Earth 20 years from now, Jessica will always be "ZACH'S MOM!"
What courage it took for Jessica to stand before a room of almost all strangers and tell her story. God had told her that she needed to tell others her story to help her heal. I bet that through her telling of the story tonight, that others in that room were able to heal a little too. Many women there tonight probably had miscarriages. Some may have lost children of their own. Some women were battling fertility issues. Whatever the battle, the reminder that God truly is there and never leaves our side is such a huge source of peace even for me. I don't struggle with any of those issues that I suggested. But I struggle with my own issues. Thank you God for being there with me and for me. Thank you for sending those ladies to speak up about you and let us know how you have changed their lives.
I pray that Jessica does receive a peace in her life that allows her to smile about her dear Zach and not ache so much. I pray that she and her husband will be able to have more children. More children that she can tell about Zach and share photos of him with them. Share that Zach's 5 month long life, changed many people's lives forever...and changed them over to trust in Jesus. What more of a miracle could have come from such a perfect little life?

Circles

I know that there are these things going around on FaceBook and all over the place to identify the circles of life that seem to naturally crop up everywhere. I think they are called the 6 degrees of separation. I could be wrong. But hey, I'm under the influence of night time cold medicine..so give me a break!!
Anyway, recently I collided with one such circle of life that left an impression on me. A few weeks ago, as I was on my way home from work, I was passed by a police officer flying around the line of cars I was in to get to an accident. I had actually been delayed at work by a few minutes talking to Sherrie and Dr. M. I went to pick up Lyndi and was heading home, down the Jefferson Rd. exit. Just ahead of us was a tremendous wreck. Smoke was still pouring out of the air bags in the mini van that caused the accident. The driver of the car that was struck head on, headed West bound on the 10 loop was laying out in the median of the road. EMS personnel was working with this person on the ground....a woman. Then a woman who was obviously upset came running over to that person's side. Then the fire rescue workers were trying to get the passenger out of the minivan. I called Pete and told him that I was caught in traffic at this accident and that I thought there were probably fatalities in it. It was a mess! I then tried to reach my mom by phone to worn her in case she was on her way home too. I tried to call my friend Laurie to let her know in case she was near that exit...as that's the exit where her mom and dad live. I know she goes over to their house often.
The next day on the radio, I found out that the minivan was being driven by an elderly woman who had come off of the Jefferson Rd exit, crossed over the 10 loop and collided head on with a vehicle traveling West bound on the other side of the 10 loop median. It was hard to tell at a glance of the accident scene exactly how things went down. That next day though, there were plenty of orange flags and spray paint marking exactly where everything took place. The driver of the minivan died. A few days later, the day of the driver's funeral, her passenger husband died.
Not long after I had found out the details of the accident, I spoke to my friend Laurie and told her that I had tried to call her and advise her of the accident. I told her that I felt like, if I had been just a couple of minutes quicker heading home, that I could have been involved in that accident. She then told me that she too came up on the accident and described the scene almost exactly as I had seen it...she was right behind me, on the exit ramp off Jefferson!! I did not have her cell number so I couldn't let her know...but she did know! She saw it too!
Last week (now about 3 weeks after the accident), one of my patients came in and asked me (out of the blue) if I knew the people that died in the collision on the 10 loop. I thought that was odd seeing as I was a first hand witness of the aftermath of the accident and it made an impression on me. I described the accident scene to her. I told her what I had heard about the people involved in the accident. Then she told me that she knew the couple that had died as a result of the accident. She worked in a place of business that she saw the driver of the van weekly. She had know this woman for a number of years. She said that this woman was one of the nicest, kindest people she knew and that she would miss her. I thought about how odd I thought the whole situation was.
That accident that I had missed by minutes, the one that made a deep impression on me, the one I tried to warn my friend about, the one that took the lives of 2 people...and someone intimately knew the the riders in the van. How random...or was it random at all? Why did my patient decide to discuss this with me? Why was I a witness? Why did I miss being involved?
When Lyndi saw the cars all smashed up in the median, she asked me,"Mama, whata happeneded to those caaas? They fall down and brokeded?" I responded to Lyndi that indeed they fell down and broke and I didnt think that the people in the the cars were ok either. I think they fell down and broke too.
That couple evidently lived in Colbert...we were practically neighbors. I wonder if I will hear more about them in the future. I don't think that I had any connection with the other person involved in that accident. Who knows though, 10 years from now, I might have her as a patient. She may be sitting in my chair, while I'm working on her legs, telling me about how she was involved in a head on collision and survived...but the driver and passenger of the minivan didn't make it. Who knows really?

OH MY!

Today I had a patient that was a really sweet, talkative lady. She spent a lot of time telling me about her sons. She is so proud of them!! They sounded like really good boys too! She was talking about how they never drank in high school, used drugs, got in trouble, got piercings or tattoos. WOW! What nice boys! Then she told me that her niece or cousin's kid..someone..I don't recall now after what she was saying....ANYWAY...this girl went to college on a full scholarship (that's impressive)...had two tone hair, went and got piercings and a "tramp stamp" on her lower back...you know, one of those tattoos! Well then she pondered out loud, "What will her children think one day when they see that thing on her back??!!" What could she have been thinking??? The relative with the tattoo and piercings?!!!
I shrugged and quickly tried to change the subject......Unfortunately she lingered a while longer on the topic but then finally gave up on it after I didn't give much of a YEAH!! HOW DARE SHE??!! WHAT WILL HER KIDS THINK??!
I kind of wondered if, while I was getting up from my seat if she may have noticed the colorful inkings on my own backside..............OH MY!! WHAT WILL MY CHILDREN THINK OF ME??? WHAT KIND OF CONTRIBUTION WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO MAKE TO SOCIETY??!!! WILL A MAN EVER REALLY BE ABLE TO LOVE ME? WILL I END UP IN PRISON COSTING TAX PAYERS MILLIONS OF DOLLARS?? Man, I sure hope not! And my kids really haven't made a ruckus about a funny picture of a gecko that Mama has on her back. I have gotten pinched on the back by Lyndi...I think she was testing to see if it was real or not! Lila just told her Daddy when she was about 4 or 5 that she too will have a tattoo one day....he was like "GREAT!! SEE WHAT YOU'VE STARTED??!!" I told him that if that is the worst thing she ever does, I think we will survive!
I had a rather shallow boss say one time that if she had KNOWN that I had a tattoo that she wouldn't have ever hired me. That really hurt my feelings. The thing is that I always try to keep my backside covered up. I don't have sleeves or chest art. I don't have my kids names tattooed on my neck. She wouldn't have ever even known that I had a "tramp stamp" on my back if she hadn't been listening in on a conversation that I was having with a fellow nurse (my other supervisor).
People make a lot of judgement calls about others based upon appearance. I think its really unfortunate! I can not believe that someone would be so shallow that they wouldn't hire me just because I have ink! I love caring for patients more than anything! I am a great employee with a great work ethic! I care about my job! But this person was so shallow that she would have let her own personal biases effect her hiring practices. Its not like I'm a registered sex offender and want to work at a day care! There are no swastikas or nudey pictures on my body!
Anyway, my point is this...we shouldn't be so quick to judge others. For all this relative of Miss Tramp Stamp knows, her favorite cousin/niece...whatever could be a Noble Peace Prize winner some day! She might build multiple houses for Habitat for Humanity! She may save a baby from a burning house...She just doesn't ever know! But if this girl gets her belly button pierced or some other nether region...If she gets a panther tattooed over the rest of her back or on her leg...IF THAT'S THE WORST THING THIS GIRL EVER DOES...FOR GOODNESS SAKES, PLEASE DON'T JUDGE HER FOR THAT!!!! Self expression shouldn't be a crime! Purple hair when you are in college isn't the most awful thing ever...There definitely are much worse things in life! And I think that many people would be REALLY suprised to find out that their own Grandma might have a piercing or a "tramp stamp" above their bottom too....I've seen many folks in their birthday suits...and it suprised me to find many of both on ladies over the age of 50 that were freshly inked or pierced!!! And I'm not kidding!