Unspoken prayers

At Church, they always ask if we have any thing or anyone we want to pray for. In Sunday school they pass around a sheet asking us to write our prayer needs down. Always there is at least one person that writes "unspoken." At first I didn't really know what that meant but over time I have come to realize and appreciate that word.
Unspoken means that the request is too private or painful for that person to share with the entire group...BUT God knows what that need is. God knows what all of our needs are without even having to name it out loud.

In Romans 8:26-27 the Bible says: " In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Which I think sums up the whole meaning of prayer being UNSPOKEN.

Oh, the trials and tribulations that my fellow church friends are going through at the moment. Fortunately for us, the Lord helps us THROUGH these troubles and does not make us dwell unnecessarily in those troubles alone. And it seems right now that a common thread that seems to be afflicting our friends is mental health. Sadness, lack of hope, depression, anxiety (due to a lack of a job or money is most common), loss of self confidence, anger and angst. It almost seems that a physical affliction is so much easier to deal with. If you break your arm, just put a cast on it. Sure it hurts, but it does not necessarily have an effect on anyone else. But mental illness (I just love that phrase...makes us all sound like we should be in Central State Hospital) effects every aspect of our lives including our physical well being, friends, family and work. There has to be a delicate balance found with medication, counseling, support and lots of prayer.
I found a verse in the Bible that feels very reassuring; Romans 8:18-21
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in Hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God." The phrase BONDAGE TO DECAY probably sums up the mood of many people I know right now. How painful.
So, I ask that you pray for four people that are on my heart and that have been on my mind a lot lately. I know I don't have to mention names or circumstances because God already knows what their needs are. Their needs are UNSPOKEN. But how awesome that God and the Holy Spirit allows us to not even have to speak whats on our hearts, but instead helps us THROUGH these trials and tribulations anyway.

Where were you the day...

Tonight Pete and I were watching a program about the Twin Towers. Not too many years from now, many young people wont have a clue what we are talking about when we mention those buildings. Hopefully they will know what 9-11 was. But they wont have any clue what that day and the months following 9-11 really meant. I guess it was the Pearl Harbor of my day. I cant imagine what that was like either.
September 11th, 2001, I was 6 months pregnant with Lila. I was working light duty in the office at GCSU in parking. While I was sitting at the desk, one of our physical plant workers came through the door asking if we had heard about the bombing of the World Trade Center. I did not know what he was talking about. He asked if we had a radio or tv in the police department. We had a tv that had cable in the shift briefing room. Pete was working evening shift at the time. I called him at home and told him to turn on the news that our physical plant worker had said that there was a bombing. Pete turned on the news. As I talked to him on the phone, he said "Marci there was a second plane!" They just showed a second plane slamming into the second tower. I went to watch the tv in the shift room. I was in shock. I had not ever seen anything like what was on tv. Terrorism was not a word that ever came up in any conversation that I had ever had, not even in law enforcement.
When there was a bombing of the World Trade Center back in 1993, I dont know where I was. I was about 20 years old and Im sure that I didnt watch the news. I probably had my head stuck under a rock somewhere. According to Wikipedia, here is what happened:

The 1993 World Trade Center bombing occurred on February 26, 1993, when a car bomb was detonated below Tower One of the World Trade Center in New York City. The 1,500 lb (680 kg) urea nitrate-hydrogen gas enhanced device[1] was intended to knock the North Tower (Tower One) into the South Tower (Tower Two), bringing both towers down and killing thousands of people.[2][3] It failed to do so, but did kill six people and injured 1,042.
The attack was planned by a group of conspirators including Ramzi Yousef, Mahmud Abouhalima, Mohammad Salameh, Nidal Ayyad, Abdul Rahman Yasin and Ahmad Ajaj. They received financing from Khaled Shaikh Mohammed, Yousef's uncle. In March 1994, four men were convicted of carrying out the bombing: Abouhalima, Ajaj, Ayyad and Salameh. The charges included conspiracy, explosive destruction of property and interstate transportation of explosives. And in November 1997, two more were convicted: Yousef, the mastermind behind the bombings, and Eyad Ismoil, who drove the truck carrying the bomb.

How I missed hearing about this, I will never know. But there was no way around hearing about 9-11. That morning, I was just sick. The thought actually crossed my mind about what the stress might do to my unborn Lila. I just didnt know what our world was coming to. I didnt know if terrorists were going to be able to infiltrate our Nation and wreak unbelievable havoc that we wouldn't be able to defend ourselves from. And truly they did. Im just grateful that it stopped where it did.

For days, we stayed glued to the tv. Pete and I sat on the couch together sobbing. All those families posted pictures on boards looking for missing people. So many of our brothers and sisters in law enforcement and with the fire departments were missing or known to be dead. Service men and women of all types (especially the Port Authority folks) went out to assist in any way possible. Many of those people didn't live.

To this day, I still can not believe what happened. And then for it to happen again at the Pentagon and later still in that field where the courageous passengers took the plane down. I pray that we never, ever have to witness a terrorist attack.

In the last 20 years, our country has taken a beating from terrorists. Some domestic terrorists have caused tremendous devastation including the Oklahoma City bombing, the Centennial Olympic Park bombing (which could have turned out much worse than it did!), Columbine High School shootings and Virginia Tech. And what about those poor Amish people that suffered through the killings of their children in their school house?

I don't know why some people are so evil and feel the need to destroy so much. All I know is that we as a nation need to continue to pray for our soldiers that are fighting a mighty battle. We must pray for a hedge of protection around our nation to protect us from foreign and domestic terrorists. Each person must do their part to keep their eyes wide open to people that make idle threats or that clearly lay out plans to cause harm to our families.

How many plans for school shootings have been sabotaged because someone told? How many potential terrorist attacks has our government averted through investigations and reports made by private citizens? Thank God that some people have made the choice to speak up. Thank God we have a military that protects us.

I still pray for the families that were devastated by 9-11. I hope that its a day that we all continue to remember and to take the threat of terrorism very seriously. I never want to witness anything like this ever again. But just like the threat of terrorism is very real...the threat of apathy is greater!

I wanna be like Miley

I was cruising through the You Tube videos and came across videos from Miley's "dance off" with Mandy. If you arent familiar, Miley Cyrus (Achey Breaky Hearts daughter) and her friend Mandy have videos on You Tube. Now if I understand right, Miley just turned 16 on the 21st of this month. Do I remember being 16? I wish I did. I wish I remembered a lot more of my younger years...more than just the mistakes I made. But I do remember my friends. I remember spending lots and lots of time with them!
Can you imagine being a thirty~something, hanging out with your best friends, making videos together, laughing, dancing around acting silly? Sans alcohol please......
When does it happen? When do we stop acting like silly fools, laughing and cutting up? When was our innocence lost? When do we settle into adult hood and become BORING? Now if we "cut up" we are thought of as being obnoxious or irritating.
When did we stop having sleep overs? When I was a kid/teenager, I loved to spend the night with my friends and visa versa. It was great! We would stay up and watch scary movies, talk to other friends on the phone, laugh, laugh, laugh and sleep late. And Im sure we ate a lot too!
Now it seems that if adults participate in activities like this, there is usually drugs and alcohol involved. And there seems to be a lot of activity with members of the opposite sex involved.
Now we are all married to that member of the opposite sex that we tried so hard to impress.
Is the problem just me? Have I become a huge stick in the mud? I love nothing more than to sit around with other women, laughing and joking. All in good humor. Not tearing others apart. Not bashing people not present. Just having fun! But usually those moments are blips on the radar, because most of the time I get to spend with other women is at the work place and we cant sit around goofing off the entire 12hrs!
Some day Id like to sit around with a bunch of my friends, talk, laugh, act stupid, watch movies, play games..and maybe even make a night of it! No makeup. No men. No alcohol. No kids. No drama...just fun! Now Im not saying that I can stay up all night....dont get me wrong. I am 35 now and I do need my sleep! :) Anyone interested?

Drama

There are at least two things in this world that I am grateful for, one of which is my Drama Lama and my Drama Queen!!

Be not confused by this statement. I speaketh of my two dear, sweet, baby girls! Although the picture above is of a lama that is terribly distressed by the spitting match that it has found itself in the middle of, it clearly represents my dear Lyndi. The drama queen, is Lila.

Some might think, "how in the world can you compare your lovely little Lyndi to a Lama!!" If you only knew her, you would know what a champion spitter she is!! She spits all the time! Lyndi always calls to my mind, the scene in Aladdin where one character warns the crowd, "watch out (camels) they spit!" Lamas spit too! Once aggravated, they can and will spit!! Its the same with Lyndi!! She got irritated with Lila today and began showering her in spit! Its a good big sister deterrent. Good thing she isnt like a skunk huh?!

Lila could win an Emmy for best Drama! Holy Cow!! She can bring on the tears and "this is the worstest day ever" in a heart beat!! She can muster tears up in the blink of an eye! And she has perfected the WHINNNNNNNEEEEE!!! I told Pete today that it was some wonder that we had any sanity at all!

Put the Drama Lama and the Drama Queen in the back seat of a small Mazda 3.......its a nightmare of EPIC PROPORTIONS!! If you ever doubt this, feel free to take a ride with me one day.......You'll be begging your doctor for a prescription of Xanax!!

The girls got brains

When Lila was a baby I used to always think she had kind of a Charlie Brown head. I know all babies' heads are larger than their bodies when they are born..but I always thought that Lila had a bit of a punky head...kind of like me! Ive always worn a bit larger hat than the average female I think. But in Lila's case, I think its because of all those brains she's got in her head!! hehe

Today we got a letter advising us that Lila had been accepted into the gifted program. I couldnt be more proud. Lila has always been a smart child to me...not JUST smart mouthed...she excels in that arena as well! BUT she got into the gifted program.

Lila excels in the area of reading and language arts. We have a book of stories that she wrote in Kindergarten that show impressive (creative) art work and very good stories written by Lila. She also seems to have a good grasp of math. I think the area where she is the best is in abstract thinking. She is always coming up with some deep, off the wall thought process that leaves me scratching my head. Tonight she said "Mama, isnt it interesting that Kitten is spelled with a K and yet Cat is spelled with a C." I dont know that I have ever even thought about that. Instead, thoughts of how rubber bands were made used to occupy my mind from time to time. Then I found out the answer...pretty cool actually!

Lila sat down and read a book to me about Red Foxes tonight. She was able to read words like Mammals and Predators. She didnt stumble over the words or sound awkward when she was reading them. I was impressed!

Pete was picking at me saying that since Lila is so smart, "you know what means for Lyndi right?" It seems that when one child is smart the other child is usually kind of "SLOW"? So I asked him, "Since your sister is so smart, does that mean that you were the dumb on in the family??" He said "YEP!" I dont believe that for an instant. Pete not only has smarts, he is very well equipped with common sense. The only thing he wasnt blessed with was a big imagination. Pete can not visualize things, especially artsy or creative things. Dont ask him what color he thinks you should paint a room.

Intelligence is something that is so interesting to me! How is it that some people can be SO intelligent but can not figure out how to address an envelope or write a check? How does that happen? My brother told me one time that I was the smart one in the family. He never did well in school. I think a lot of that was just a lack of motivation. My brother was blessed with a lot of common sense and hands on knowledge. Maybe he didnt like to read a lot when he was a kid. Maybe sitting in class all day was not his thing. However, he does an excellent job at managing the restaurant that he works at and he is an excellent chef! My brother can come up with some of the most delicious meals. I think that takes smarts. Some really, really smart people can even figure out how to open a can!

So is Lyndi doomed to being dumb?? I seriously doubt it. She already has proven to me how smart she is. I dont think that she is just going to live up to the meaning of her name ONLY in life...."The Pretty One." I think she will be the total package just like Lila. Now does that mean that she will be in the gifted program too? I can hope...but if she does not, that will be ok too. She will have her own gifts and talents that she will be blessed with! One of her talents now is making people smile! God doesnt give everyone the same gifts. Not all people will be smart. Not all people can make others laugh and smile. Not all people are loving and compassionate like Lila has been. Im curious too see exactly what talents my girls will have. Whatever they may be, I know that they are going to be the best at what they do, and they both will always make me smile.

God works it out

Last year around November, when I was first introduced to blogging I, made the following comment:

"Im praying for my neighbor. She is needing a job and feels like she has to sell her house. Im praying for a friend at Church who feels disconnected from life right now. I am anxious to see how God works it all out. And he will! "

If I was asked to give my testimony, I would not know exactly what to concentrate on. I would wonder if I should mention all the things I have witnessed in others lives or the ways I have experienced God's hand in my life. I probably could write a book about the many small (and some large) miracles that I have been witness to. But I cant and wont do that today. But I wanted to mention how God has worked out my neighbor's need for a job that I mentioned earlier.

On one hand, a non believer could say, "where is the blessing that you are talking about? God waited until August to respond to your prayers!" But as a believer in Christ I have to say, "No it took 9 months for us to sustain our faith and fervent prayers to God, while my neighbor worked through her own personal STUFF, before God would reveal the whole unfolding blessing that was there all along!" All along the last several months, there were so many bumpy trials and tribulations thrown into my neighbor's path. She had several family members get sick, she was betrayed by someone she cared about, she found herself in a world of confusion in certain relationships and experienced health problems of her own. All the while, she prayed, we prayed, our church prayed, her family prayed, her family's church prayed.... it was unbelievable. SLOWLY but surely, God began to lift the veil. It kind of reminds me of a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. Before he gets to the rabbit, he may surprise us with flowers or a dove. He might pull handkerchiefs out. But by the end, he will slowly pull that rabbit out, surprising everyone, and leave the crowd amazed and clapping! Its the same way with the blessings that he had planned for my neighbor.

Health problems that her family members had been afflicted with seemed to fade or turn out to be of no great concern. Her own personal health problems completely resolved themselves (even without having to have treatments or surgery!!! Which is an extra blessing since she hasn't had insurance!). The relationship problems have been resolved and her eyes made wide open to the pitfalls of being involved with these people. And more importantly, my neighbor was able to witness how many people really care about her. Members of her parents church randomly gave large sums of money to help out. Small amounts of money trickled in just in time for this need or that one. Sure, the cable got cut off...but that was a WANT, not a NEED.

The story does not end here. My neighbor was just blessed with a job that will help her meet her needs and is in her career field!!! BUT....I am still anxious to see what God has in store for my neighbor next! What a beautiful sight!

While I was sitting in church tonight all I could think of was her. I told her a month or so ago that I just felt like God was going to handle this and something BIG was coming around the corner for her! I mentioned that in my own Myspace page. I too have been really blessed here lately. But I have felt like things were going to happen for my neighbor too. And I still believe that we are just seeing the ears of that rabbit being pulled out of that hat. Little by little its being revealed to us. Before this is over, I think we will be applauding, laughing and joyous about the outcome! It has taken several months. But SO many blessings have come. And I am proud that I have had the opportunity to be witness to it all!

Just Call Me MAMA Monkey

For anyone that has known me for a while or worked with me in any of my previous jobs, knows what kind of freak I am about tags, lint, hair or unusual body stuff (hair, moles, scars, etc..). My new boss is just now finding out who/what I really am.
While I was in the hospital for a little heart arrhythmia, my PCP asked me a simple question that I think I may have lied a little about in my response. He asked me if I am OCD. I think my response was "Naaaaaaaahhhh." And truly I am not one those people that have to check and recheck things. I dont ever get "stuck" trying to close a door or cabinet. But dog gone it if I dont spot things that need correction!! I cant just let those dogs lye either!!!
For instance, my surgeon (he is mine now, BLESS HIS HEART) wears scrubs to the office. And his stinkin tag sticks up out of his shirt. For some reason, scrub shirts always have this problem. Well, I CAN NOT have my surgeon walking around looking crazy so I have to tuck that tag!! One day, I nearly tackled him, held him still and CUT his tag out!! I should have cut today's tag out too!
My "boss", David, discovered how observant I am on approximately the second day of my employment. I happened to notice that he had a mole behind his left ear. I said, "David, I dont know if you are aware of this or not, but you have a mole behind your left ear." He told me "thanks for noticing" but he already knew that little factoid. I figured that if he was not aware, what if that thing decided to mutate and become a melanoma?? They might have to cut off his whole ear!! That would suck wouldnt it!
Today Pete came by the office and David had to mention the whole ear issue to him. Pete didnt even flinch. He was like, "you should see how she goes after me!" I think David felt sorry for him! David described in detail exactly how I pounced upon him, seizing his ear and exclaiming how he had a mole on the back. I dont really recall it happening like that....but whatever his aging mind wanted to log that memory as...so be it!
So let me just take this opportunity to address some things that grab my attention so if you happen to have one of these problems, you might want to avoid me until you have had the opportunity to address this issue yourself. For instance, the following really grab my attention:
1) Tags on shirts
2) Lint on clothing-that includes hair, strings or random confetti like objects.
3) Weird growing hairs-the sort that grows off of ears that are 3 feet long, stray eyebrow hairs that could be used to wire bridges or string cable for tv, hairs that are unruly and dont want to lay down with the rest of the crew and nose hairs.......those are never good!!!! With hair, I have to admit that I am reluctant to touch a lot of hair...because just look at where those things are growing out of....men are the worst! However, a nice nose hair trimmer for Christmas may be just the thing!!! Pete admitted to me today that he had noticed some ear hairs on someone he knew...its CONTAGIOUS!!!!
4) Food in teeth or BEARS in the cave. I am a true friend, I will tell you if you have either of these. The thought of the embarrassment you might face once you realize that you have walked around all day like this...its too much for me to stand so Ill tell you...or just hand you a tissue.
5)Untied shoes (safety hazard that drives me nuts) and unzipped zippers....yea buddy...XYZPDQ!!!!
6)Jewelry that is hanging wrong. If the clasp is in the front..turn it around. Earrings that are hanging halfway out of the ear....NOPE..I gotta tell you!
One might think (falsely) that I am hypercritical of others and thats why I am so nit picky of others...as if I am being judgemental or something......They couldnt be further from the truth. I think that I just have an inner fear of wandering around with boogers showing in my nose and having a strange hair growing out of my forehead. I want someone to tell me!! Please be discreet. Dont point and laugh or say EWWWWWW!!! Come on now! I want people to look and feel their best! Plus if you have a skin lesion that could be cancerous, I might just save your life!!!!
So please just bear with me!! If you have a piece of lint, just let me pick it off. Dont think that I am literally picking AT YOU! Just let me be nit picky and dont think anything of it! Your own Mama would likely lick her finger and rub the black spot off of your face! I probably wont do that but I will hand you a baby wipe!! Just dont be offended ok? Just realize that Pete calls me Mama Monkey for a reason and just let it go. I am who I am. I cant help that! Call me weird...you wont be the first. But at least you wont be walking around looking silly with a piece of string hanging off your back! Or walk around with your skirt tucked in your panty hose!

Just thinking

Sin~ We are born into as human beings. The deal was sealed with Adam and Eve. Our very nature is to be sinful. Id like to think that I am not a HUGELY sinful person, as if degrees of sinfulness is what really matters. I know that's not true. Sure, if I haven't murdered a person then I might feel like the anger that I had tonight was more acceptable. But is it really? I'm no better than anyone else. However, I guess where the difference lies is whether we choose to revisit that path of sin over and over again, or if we CHANGE our thoughts and behaviors.
Which brings me to my next THOUGHT...its the thought thing that gets me in more trouble than anything. My sinful nature may not necessarily escape my mouth or effect my hands but instead, it lurks around in my head. Angry thoughts, lust, jealousy, ambivalence....the list goes on and on.
I'm pretty clear on the acts that are sinful and I try to stay away from them. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I try to "live the good life." I try to help others. I put others needs before my own most of the time. I go to church really often (work permitting). I sing in church (from the pew, not the choir...God be with the people in front of me!). I tithe. But I also think ugly thoughts about others from time to time. Curse words may flow from my lips if something offends my shins or knocks my elbows. BUT....
Its the BUT that gets you every time too.... But I know that just because I'm a "good person" does not mean that I am guaranteed a good seat up in Heaven. Only placing my faith and trust in Jesus Christ as my Savior is the only thing that is going to free me from this sinful nature that I have been born into.
And let me add this thought....In Genesis (which we started studying in Bible study), God confronts Adam about his participation in partaking of the forbidden fruit. Adam's response was:
"The woman you put here with me-she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."
Why did Adam have to say that? Why didn't he just say "God, we really, really screwed up. I admit it, I ate the fruit." Why did he have to say "that woman you put here, she did this...she gave me that fruit doggone her!" But it didn't go down that way at all. So God decided to give us the birthing pains!! Thanks EVE!!! Thanks ADAM!!!
So, I have recently felt that it is important to reveal my sinful nature to others. I have really struggled with this for the last couple of weeks. Thinking about sinful things is just as bad as actually committing the sin. And when I have thoughts that are sinful, I automatically have this little voice in my head telling me....STOP!! But its hard to stop sometimes. After I get passed what I was thinking, then I feel guilty and I feel like I have ignored what God wants for me. So I think that on the surface IF I appear to be a "good Christian" most of the time, I have to admit that I am a weak person some of the time just simply due to the thoughts I carry around in my head.
BUT..and here's another BUT to mention....BUT I know that I can go to God and confess my sinful thoughts, ask for forgiveness and its mine for keeps. I don't like having to admit that I am weak. I don't like to admit that I may seem nice on the outside but sometimes the thoughts in my head are just plain UGLY. I will and I do admit that. And I am admitting that to everyone. I suspect that I am not alone.
I do wonder sometimes why God has blessed me and family so much. I know I don't always feel worthy. That's the great thing about being a Christian though, God loves us NO MATTER WHAT. If we had to base everything on human love, we would all be lost. Even the phrase "unconditional love" doesn't even compare to what God has to offer us. Thank God for that!
So I just thought Id share a few thoughts that have been on my mind lately. I really have been feeling nudged here lately to speak up about what has been troubling me. I'm hoping that my own inner spirit can rest a little more now. When God wants something from us, he really knows how to put a burden on our hearts to convict us of what he wants! How amazing!

Blessings

Monday I started my new job with VI. Can I just say that every day when I go in, I feel like I am walking into a different world? Not just because I am working in private practice, but I feel like I am walking into a twilight zone! Its SO different from being in the hospital. For one, its just the surgeon, me and our wonderful secretary. Every day I am having to try to get this surgical thing down. I am getting it. I try to remind myself that I have only been at it a few days. But I would like to have my skills down...yesterday!! On the days when the doctor is in ATL, I have been going out visiting doctor's offices, schools and any other place I can think to find people in need of varicose vein or spider vein removal.
I was talking to our secretary about this whole marketing thing. I actually got to see about 6 sets of legs today. I asked our secretary if she thought that people would be so eager to pull up their pants legs to show their road maps if it was our MALE doctor talking about the practice or our male RN (President and CEO). Our secretary said she wasnt so certain, but she added, "arent you glad we dont do boob jobs in our office!" hahaha I told her I was REALLY REALLY glad we didnt do hysterectomies in our office!!! YIKES!! I mean, I have seen plenty of human body parts but they have all been in the hospital in a relatively controlled environment...nothing spontaneous....well, usually. Most people try to keep their body parts hidden in the hospital for fear that you might want to shove some sort of torturous tube into that part!!!
There seems to be several perks to my new position. One of the coolest ones came about on Wednesday when we had a Saphenous vein closure. Normally we listen to 97.1 The River on the radio. Its "classic" rock. I like that. But I guess the doc was in a different sort of mood and chose Alicia Keys "As I Am." I really rather liked it. I really had to watch myself though! I didnt want to unconsciously bust out in song like I do at home. My family is used to my voice...my husband says I sing like Edith Bunker! Thats hot huh?!!

Exhaustion is a state of being

Well, I made it home by a little after 8 tonight. Today was probably one of THE LONGEST days of my life ever. I thought that being in labor was painful....today was worthy of a good epidural for sure!! I actually started off the morning of my LAST day at work with catching my left birdy finger in a drawer. I actually thought that if I couldnt free my poor finger from the drawer that I might have to get someone to call the fire department and have them cut my finger out! Finally the right push and pull on the drawers made the drawers let go!!! I wanted to throw up it hurt so bad!
This afternoon, I had a patients PEG tube descide to play the role of "Old Faithful" and spew stomach contents up and out of the OS that the tube went down in. I had to pad the poor man's stomach down with gauze and ABD pads. I coated his stomach with barrier cream to protect his skin from the stomach acid. Ask me how happy I was about this......
I had two IVs blow today. One was a super delicate one to a man's foot that probably required prayer to our Good Lord just to be able to start! There was no restarting any new IVs in this fellow!
I had two employees call in. I had another attempt to call in. AND when I tried to find someone to work, either no one would answer or they were sick! At that very moment I had two admissions come in back to back. Fortunately I had an Angel over in ICU come rescue me!! She helped get the ball rolling in a favorable direction. Then Kellie our Chief Nursing Officer (complete Angel with double halos) came in and saved the day!! I was finally able to get back to my nursing job.
It was a crazy day! I got more hugs today then Ive gotten all year! I work with some of the NICEST people on this Earth! I pray that I get to run into them again...but not because Im being admitted or something of that nature!! Id like to see them at a lunch date or something really tame! No bandages, blood, guts or anything else offensive involved!
I dont know what I think and feel about it being my last day. Im exhausted tonight. But I know that Ill really miss my friends! Im greatful for the opportunity that God has allowed me to get to know them and spend time with them!

Second to last

Today was the second to last day at work in Elberton. I left work about 8:30PM. I had 7 patients. Half of the rooms were terribly needy. One lady threatened "I've got a gun and Ill shoot your ass!" She also tried to gum my arm, pinch and hit me. Overall I thought it was a good shift.....HA! Our most beloved CNA told me that this patient threw french fries at her and landed them right smack into her face! hehe This OOOOOLDDDD lady threw a Houdini and managed to loose herself from bilateral wrist restraints, a posey vest, took her gown off and pulled off one of her sequential compression devices from her legs. Oh and she pulled off the side pads that we placed on her bed rails for her protection. How she accomplished this feat in between visits that I made into her room and the CNA made in within the hour, is beyond me. But let me just say that it took two of us to get her back in all of her restraints. AND it took two of us to hold her hand down so that I could get her wrist restraint retied. This woman has guns like a prize fighter. Ive never seen anything like it!
Despite the terroristic threats today went like any other day...chaos, demands, begging, beeping pumps, many treks up and down the halls, urine, feces and teeth in a cup. Tomorrow being my last day I know I am going to have mixed feelings still! I love the people I work with. I love working with patients!!! I love seeing the moments when you KNOW God is working on someone. I love when patients laugh like they havent laughed in a long time. I love family members that feel like they are MY own family. I love knowing that there are still really good people out in this strange world.
Monday I officially start my new job. One of my coworkers at Elbert told me that I am going to be really bored working in Athens with my new coworkers. I told her that I could be because there are only 2 other employees in my office besides me. My Elbert coworkers are a lively bunch! They always make me laugh. When we are GOING THROUGH IT, I know we are doing it TOGETHER! Ive never seen such a team atmosphere. But, its the aforementioned chaos, pumps, stress that has just worn me out!
But as I was saying, I start in Athens officially. I really like the people I am working with. Our secretary is super nice and so is our surgeon. My boss is great too, a little hard of hearing, but I really like him! He will be staying in the Atlanta office once I get trained.
So, tomorrow will probably be bittersweet. I wont cry though if I manage to go the whole day without getting blood, feces or urine on me. I wont cry if I miss getting hit by Miss Smith and Wesson. I wont cry if I get a chance to sit down for 10 minutes. But I might cry when I get through giving report, clock out and head out to my car. Ill have to remember to wear my BIG GIRL PANTIES tomorrow!! And maybe carry a kleenex! My allergies have been bad lately!!!

Barely understood things in life

Barely understood things in life....

1) Taxes

2)Politics in general and The Clintons.

3)Gas prices.

4) Why is it that when you are doing laundry and you have a pile of clothes that you put in and you need them to be done QUICKLY it seems that it takes and hour to wash??? BUT when you put a pile of clothes in the washer and you wander into your child's room and you find some clothes laying around...why is it when you sprint to the washer...its already in the rinse cycle?!!! Please explain that one to me???

5) You buy a bag of potato chips and find that its only 1/3 full. They say on most bags that there may be SOME settling.......

6) Athletes on steroids and other illegals. If you KNOW you are going to compete and get tested, why risk it? Pete said that people want to be able to have the CHANCE to go (for instance) to the Olympics so they dope. But is it not more embarassing to dope, go to the Olympics, get tested and then get kicked out? What do you say then....WELL AT LEAST I GOT TO GO TO THE OLYMPICS! I dont get it.

7)Our legal system in general.

8)Comb overs????!!! Now thats a mind blower for sure!!!

9) People that embezzle money. I really dont get that. I recently heard of a bank CEO that had been stealing money from the bank he worked at.....its a bank for goodness sakes, thats their business. Didnt he know that someone would be watching and counting?

10) Crazy drivers, impatient drivers, people that speed up when you attempt to pass, road rage and people that STILL drive even though they are legally blind. If you dont believe that people drive that are legally blind....I know 2 people personally. I promise!

hello out there

Just so you know, I love blogging. I do find it to be very relaxing. However, I really like feedback. Its what keeps me going. If you like what you read or dont like what you read, let me know! I can take criticism. I like interaction. And if you have a blog, please share with me!
I hope you are having a good week so far! God bless!

Those Dreaded Words...YOU WERE RIGHT!

Dont you hate going to Walmart? If you are like me and tithe approximately 80% of your income to Walmart then you know what I am talking about! But being the glutton for punishment that I am, I return there week after week in search of that end cap bargain that I just cant do without. Today though, I went to pick up a prescription. When I got up to the counter to see if the prescription that was called in by the doctor was ready, I got a solid..."We havent checked the answering machine but I will let you know if it was called in or not." So translation: NO its not ready. And she added that it would be approximately 30 minutes before it would be ready. So I huffed and puffed and went about my business of collecting the necessary items for our household. Today I pretty well stuck to that task. I got the usual: toothpaste, bread, green beans and all the other not so exciting things we needed. After about 35 minutes or more I return to the pharmacy to see if my prescription was ready......NO DICE! And I had the honor of standing there with a screaming, squirming Lyndi and melting freezer items in my cart. Needless to say I was not a happy camper. Finally after an hour since I had inquired about my prescription, which turned out to cost me only $4 (yippeee!) , I headed to the checkout line.
Once I reached the check out line, Lila and Lyndi took off hand in hand around the corner of the aisle divider looking at toys. Then my phone rings. Its Grant (thats my stepson that will be 20 in November). He begins the conversation with "Go ahead and say it...you were right!" I was like, "Which thing am I right about, Im right about so much so often that Ive told you!" This time it had to do with the long distance relationship that he has had for the last year with his girlfriend that lives in Milly. She graduated from high school and will be leaving for school this fall. She has decided to go to Johnson and Wales, which happens to be an excellent school, especially in the field of the culinary arts. I think that she wants to be a merchandiser or designer or something. She is smart girl. But a 4 hour long distance relationship....not good, especially at their ages and for the length of time she is going to spend in college. More power to her! I hope she is really successful in school! She does NOT need to be worrying about Grant for the next four years. She needs to experience COLLEGE life! I wish that I had had that opportunity when I was younger. A lot of people make life long friends in college.
Anyway so back to the fact that I was right...... Truly I am not shocked or amazed at this revelation. One thing that Grant has failed to recognize over the last 8 years is that I really am not that much older than he is. I have been there and done that with so many things. I wish that he could learn from MY mistakes but I know that will never happen. My concern for him now is that he could get caught up in this society's lack of self control and find himself hooking up with several girls that just arent right or good for him. He is an attractive person (he looks a lot like Ashton Kucher). He will not have any problems meeting girls. I just hope that he does not think that he has to share everything with each person he meets or goes out with. Dating life is so scary. I speak from my own experience. I thank God everyday that I did not get in trouble any more than I did back in my younger years.
Grant thinks that if you dont get arrested for the things you do that you are ok. That idea couldnt be further from the reality of life. The possible physical and emotional scars can stay with a person for a lifetime that were received from some old relationship that a person had while they were young. Getting caught and getting arrested is only a small part of the whole issue. The additional damage that may go along with that can be even more devastating.
I try to think of where I was at at 19. If I had a chance to go back and do life over from that point on, I think I would. At that age is when I really started to make the MOST poor decisions in my life. Most of those poor decisions involved the opposite sex. And most of my poor decisions probably came about because I was not strong in my own faith or in going to church. Im sure that God probably could look down at me and say "I told you so..." He would have known how those poor decisions were going to play out. But I dont guess that I was open to that at the time.
So I figure in a few more years after Grant makes many more poor choices, he might come back again and tell us that we were right. Little does he know that our knowledge is probably based on some sort of personal experience. Too bad others wont let us save them from making stupid mistakes by learning from our own stupid mistakes.

Hatin'

Pete and I went for a walk around our little neighborhood this evening after dinner with the girls. This is a traditional sort of activity that I have enjoyed for a really long time. We used to walk around the BIG block around our house in Milly. Of course that block was about a 3.5 mile trek. Our neighborhood is about 1.5 - 2 miles around I guess. But its this gosh awful, skin sticking, tree melting heat that has been preventing us from really getting to enjoy our strolls.
While we were out walking, we got on the topic of the "1970's Chic." Which is what Pete got from my last blog. He ever so boldly told me "Don't be hatin the PLAYA Marci!" And I guess the follow up statement should have been "hate the game..." He also added that he didn't think that it was right of me to talk about his Myspace friend. The 1970's chic is the first friend that he had has been able to add to his account! And here I go trying to mess that up!!! hahaha Yea so anyway, if you run into my PLAYA husband, be sure to acknowledge his awesome PLAYA-ness. I know that when you see him that's the first thing you recognize about him. He is so outgoing and smooth you know! Nevermind that I had to FORCE him to talk to me the first several times that I ran into him before we started dating. He informed me that that tactic was really all just part of his plan......unhuh.
Speaking of cool, Pete has earned some really cool points with me. He has been riding his bike into work. I think I probably mentioned that before. He rides 19 miles to and from work. A few of our friends have seen him geared up heading to work. Evidently he is lit up like a Christmas tree to TRY TO avoid being hit by some knucklehead thats talking on their cell phone and not paying attention. So if you are headed to town and happen to notice someone with 3 tail lights blinking, a bright colored jersey and a backpack (containing the day's work clothes), then thats Pete! He is doing his part to conserve on gas! I think thats pretty cool! Plus, as an added bonus, he is keeping his family history of hypertension at bay. A tight butt and calves are always a plus too! ;)
On a sadder note, I have been hearing of a several people committing suicide here lately. Several of the people that I have heard about have been in their mid thirties or younger. What a devastating thing for the families and friends that are left behind.
It seems as though one of the first questions posed by friends and families is "what could I have done to prevent this?" And the only answer that I know is, "maybe nothing." Statistically, people have attempted suicide at least one time before ever being successful. Drugs, alcohol, mental illness and poor life choices usually precedes a person's decision to take their life. How painful for them to come to this decision.
I remember a fellow that I helped take care of that had terminal cancer. He was a hard nosed type that seemed more grumpy than lovable. But the truth was that I really cared for him. He scared some people. He was kind of prone to the use of profanity. Underneath all that curmudgeonly exterior, he really was a tender person (I think.) Anyway, I found out one day that after seemingly losing the battle to cancer, he decided to take his own life. He had gotten to the point that he was fully dependent on wearing oxygen. He could not walk anymore, he had to ride an electric scooter. And he hurt all the time. His ever faithful wife watched him go from bulldog to a wounded chihuahua. It was sad. But all I could think after I found out what he had done, was "was he a Christian?" And I think that he was. We had talked about everything but that. I think that he just did not want to put himself or his wife through having to cared for like a baby. He was tired and tired of hurting. But I struggled with the thought of what would happen to his soul. I'm not even related to him but his decision touched even my life. I was torn up for days over this single decision.
So what is my point in bringing up such a tragic topic? I don't know to be honest. One of my dear old friends just lost a sibling to an overdose (intentional or unintentional). I sense her pain even through her emails. And this loss just puts me in mind of all of the other suicides that I have heard about here recently.
All we can do at this point is pray for people that are struggling. Try to recognize the sometimes subtle and not so subtle signs that a person is calling out for help. And finally we have to take such things very seriously. A girlfriend of mine has been having a hard time here lately. It seems as though the weight of the world is on her shoulders. We TALKED about suicide yesterday. We actually said the "S" word. Call it what it is...name it and don't beat around the bush. Sometimes you have to tell people that if they are even thinking about it just casually like "Id just be better off dead," don't just let that go. Try to talk to them to find out if they have a plan and a means to commit to this plan. I know, my old friend that did take his life, he had mentioned to me about a month prior that he owned a firearm and that he was not afraid to use it. I don't guess that he was. And I wonder sometimes if he was trying to tell me of his plan. Its hard to say. But I do know that he will be missed. I know that my friend will miss her sister for a lifetime. In the end though, all we can do is pray for inner peace and accept that any successful person in committing suicide, probably thinks they had a good reason to do what they did.
If you read this and you have had thoughts of suicide or dying or you have attempted suicide in the past, I pray that you will talk to someone. I pray that you will seek out a good friend or family member to share your thoughts and feelings with. Because the aftermath that family and friends have to go through lasts forever. Usually the monsters that we are battling in our minds can be temporary. Therapy, medication, love and support from friends or family (or support groups), can make all the difference in the world. And don't think that you are alone. We have all had monsters in our closets. For some people a good Spring cleaning is all that is needed. For others, lots of time, love and support applied over months or even years is required. But as one young man with cancer once said, " we all go THROUGH stuff, but its the fact that we are going THROUGH, not staying where we are at and KNOWING that God is with us the whole way is what gets us to the other side."

Green Eyed Monsters

Jealousy....

We have all suffered from it at some point in time. Im the youngest of two, my brother being 4 years older than me and a lot meaner, I probably suffered from YOUNGEST SIBILINGITIS from time to time. I know that being a very intense person, feeling very strongly for people that I care about, I might be more prone to this disease more so than others. I dont know, maybe not. We all fight with this devil from time to time. I know that its a sin. And I dont know that God really cares a lot that we have jealousy (just the feeling of), but he knows what it does to our hearts, minds and relationships and thats what he cares about. The Bible references it directly in about 6 different places. In a few of those places it mentions jealousy with orgies and worshiping false idols. To me that says that this emotion can be just as dangerous as giving into to those other sins.

I will admit that from time to time I do feel jealous. I guess we all do. And this title of jealousy is one that I use because I dont know what else to call it. And here is what has provoked this monster in me and made it rear its ugly head....

I found out recently that my husband Pete has been emailing back and forth with a former flame. Now understand that this former flame is dated back to the 1970's, the decade that I was born in.....

But alas, this person was probably one of his first REAL girlfriends. One of which I have seen in pictures (besides the powder blue prom tuxedo photos). I know who she is and what she look(S- ED) like. I know that Pete also dated her sister prior to dating this person. Yea PLAYA!

So at any rate, Miss 1970's has poked her head into the 2000's. And dont get me wrong, Im not saying that SHE has done anything or that HE has done anything. He tells me that they have reminisced about "the olden days." And in my mind I think "YEA I BET YOU HAVE...." Its that snotty little voice that we all have in our heads. Mine is a very sassy redheaded woman's voice that carries switchblades and knows kung fu. So the thing is that NO ONE, I REPEAT NO ONE should ever mess with her!

Now there is the Myspace connection. My husbands FRIENDS box consists of Me (his beautiful, smart, loving wife) and Miss 1970's. On her Myspace page, she has pictures of her family that consists of 4 kids and her husband. Most of her children are grown. Oh and SHE blogs too..... HUH! Does Pete read my BLOGS with the same ZEAL and anticipation Im sure he has when he reads hers???? NICE.......

But I must say this in all fairness.....if you check out MY Myspace page, amid all of the NURSEY friends that I have, I do have one or two former flames lurking around. Ok and maybe I have talked to them from time to time and posted comments on their photographs. Well, and I have emailed back and forth discussing life and reminicing about the past...but that was only the 1990's past....NOT THE 1970's when it was the FREE LOVE ERA...MAKE LOVE NOT WAR ERA....the SMOKEM IF YA HAVEM era....COME ON NOW!!

I will add this though. Because I love my husband and have respect for my former flames wife, I choose to avoid situations or conversations via email that would cause conflict between me and Pete. I do not ever want him to worry that I hold any old feelings in this heart of mine for anyone else but HIM. I have no regrets that life brought me to him instead of reintroducing me to Mr 1990's.

Pete and I have talked about the "what ifs" like, "what if the ex-spouse came back around and wanted to get a smooch for old times sake..." If you have had the chance to read my blog about baggage, I think you might be able to figure out what my response would be....*GAG* Oh my...I might have to go take a little Pepto now.... Thats just territory that I just would not ever even consider venturing toward....NOT EVEN FOR A MILLION DOLLARS. You know, if our lives were like that movie where the guy gets offered 1 Million to sleep with his wife (Demi Moore)? NOT EVEN for 1 MILLION would I go THERE. Thats the same for Pete. He would gnaw off his arm first!

So here I am therapy blogging.....trying to beat my green eyed monster back with a stick! Pete tells me that all of this is new and he isnt up to anything. Being in a marriage with someone you have to trust that. He told me that I needed to shut my little Green eyed monster up. I told him that I will, BUT I WILL NEVER CLOSE MY EYES AND STOP WATCHING! I know that anything in life can happen and I would be heart broken if it did. But that little switch blade toting, snotty voice inside my head might decide to bust out one day and really have to CUT someone if they ever tried to mess with my little family! Im just sayin..................

When in need

Have you ever thought what it takes to be a hero? I found out today that it only takes about 2 seconds!
Pete, the girls and I went with my friend Nancy and her husband Kevin to the lake this afternoon. Yesterday was Kevin's birthday. We went to lake to grill and to play at the "beach." Kevin cooked the burgers on his gas stove and they were great....thanks Kevin!! I also made some homemade potato salad and brownies. They were great too! After we ate we went down to the "beach" on the lake. Nancy and I were sitting up under this little tent that we had set up. The girls and Kevin were in the water playing. Pete had gone up to the bathroom. Nancy and I being good moms were keeping the ole hawkeyes on our children playing in the water. I noticed that Kevin was picking the girls up and throwing them up and out in to the water. I glanced away and looked back and THOUGHT I saw Kevin playing with this black kid. Kevin was reaching his arms out to him....
Suddenly Kevin dove under the water and all I saw of the boy was his hands sticking out of the water. Kevin pushed him up and I saw the boys top half went back in the water. Kevin came up with him. Out of no where a Hispanic man came and started pulling the boy up by one of his arms. I took off down into the water. I knew that this was no water game. We dragged the boy up onto the beach. He was limp. All I could think was "this boy probably has water in his lungs...are we going to do CPR?!!" OH MY GOD! Things like this just dont ever happen while I am around. We got him over on his side. He was coughing up clear sputum. No water and no vomit. He had rapid respirations!!! PRAISE GOD he was breathing on his own. His heart rate was about 95!! PRAISE!!! MY HEART WAS RACING!!!! But at least he was conscious! We found out this young mans name and that he was 13. His mom came down the hill from the picnic benches carrying a less than 1 year old baby. She hit him with a barrage of questions! ARE YOU OK??? WHAT HAPPENED!! DO YOU NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL??! The poor boy couldnt answer. I told her that he needed time to catch his breath. He was scared to death...much like ME!!
I tried to think where my stethoscope was...I think I left it in my locker at work! That darn thing! I always leave it at work somewhere. It wasnt in my car for sure!! We are never prepared for such things. I just listened to his breaths with my ear to his chest. I could hear the air moving in and out of each lobe! PRAISE!!! I couldnt hear any wet sounds in there!
Once the boy gained his strength he said that he had just gotten tired out there swimming. Kevin said that he heard the boy yell for help. I all I know was that he was on that boy in a matter of seconds. Kevin used to be in the Navy and had to perform water drills regularly during training. Im so glad he did!! If Kevin had waited, that boys lungs would have filled with water. I can not believe that he didnt DROWN or at least go unconscious!
I hugged that boy and told him that I was glad he was ok...as in LIVING. His mom got choked up and said she just did not know what she would have done if something had happened to him. His other family members thanked us profusely for saving him. These two ladies that were out in the water with him said that all they could do was stand there. They too did not know how to swim. I can not imagine having to stand there helpless because going after someone drowning would lead to my own demise. Again, all I can say is THANK GOD Kevin was out there!!
We joked about the whole situation afterward. I was scared and Im not going to tell anyone anything differently. I had complete and total tunnel vision. Once I locked my eyes on Kevin and that boy, I couldnt tell you who was around or anything else. I focused my attention on this boy and little else. I remember telling Lila and Madison to get up on the beach. Of course they didnt pay me any attention. It would have really been awful to be trying to save someone and have my own drown!!!
Pete said when he looked down there at the beach, he thought we were about to have to do "U-P-S" on some boy! I laughed..UPS?! hehe He heard that on some news report probably on YouTube or something...hehehe Im really glad we didnt have to do the ole UPS!! We got the mom to take her son to the ER. He was doing fine I think but if he sucked in lake water...he may very well have needed antibiotics. Some big white guy with a Hawiian shirt on, was telling him to eat bread..I guess to soak up the water??! I told the mom and boy not to eat or drink anything....EAT BREAD??? What the heck??! He probably thought we DID need to do UPS on the kid!!
Anyway, Kevin's my hero now. In only 2 seconds, Kevin responded without hesitation. No matter what kind of junk he may talk in his day to day life, no matter how much he may try to act like he doesnt care, no matter how tough he might try to act....he heroed up on us today...and I sure am greatful...and I know a 13 year old's mom that is greatful too!