I thought that once I graduated from highschool that I might have been able to move away from the rumor mill. But alas, rumors, talk, speculations and such have snared me! Im shocked and disappointed really. I guess when people do not know you that well, they just like to fill in blanks to give their dull lives something to think about....
When I went into work the other morning I mentioned to our ward clerk (whom I dearly love) that I had had a dream about having had a party at my house. I told her that tons of people were there. I had even seen one of our coworkers there. But when I went to speak to our coworker, he had left. Anyway, I told her, I rarely have good dreams but this particular one wasnt too bad. So when our MALE coworker came in, I was kidding him by saying "where did you go last night??" He looked really puzzled. He said "home." I said, "well I saw you at the party and then when I went to speak to you, I couldnt find you, you had left." He was like "You must have been dreaming." Anyway, the whole thing was silly. I told him that I had had a dream about this huge party. Random college students were there and such. Anyway, later that afternoon he came to me and told me that our conversation was "overheard" by another coworker. She had quasi-confronted him about hanging out at a party with me. See, he is married. I am married. We shouldnt be hanging out. I was a little bit twerked about this. I told him, that if anyone had a question as to my where abouts,they could just ask our ward clerk because I had worked until 8:30 the night of our apparent hook up. After work, I went home to my husband and children (who were asleep in bed). And my coworker informed me that he went home to his wife. Amazing. But Im sure that this story got around our little hospital like wildfire. Evidently things like to get around like this. My coworker informed me that someone had contacted his wife one time to complain about my coworkers apparent "relationship" with this fellows wife. And I cant speak to what happened because I wasnt there. But I DO KNOW where I was and was not. And I know what intentions I have and do not have.
So all I ask is this. If you hear something or THINK you hear something, it might be best to mind your own business. And no matter what, do not spread this information around. I really dont care to have a wife upset over something stupid and innocent. And I dont care to have my husband scratching his head and wondering when I threw a party that I hooked up with my coworker at.
Crazy..........
About Me
- ComerDweller
- I am 40-ish as a friend of mine calls us. 42 to be exact. I have a teenage daughter (eek), an 8 year old daughter and a stepson in his late 20's. I am married to a terribly quiet man that only speaks when he has something to say. Otherwise, no small talk.We live in an itsy bitsy, teeny weenie little town in Georgia. I love small town living. I am a nurse and have been for 10 years now. I love caring for others. Sometimes "others" don't care to be cared for...but I try to love on them anyway.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Super COOOL
Can I admit to my readers something really dorky that I did? Will you ever be able to look at me with the same eyes and think "NOW MARCI IS THE COOLEST PERSON I HAVE EVER KNOWN?"Hmm I think I could be pushing the limits on this one.
Yesterday at work I had one of the worst patients on the planet. I thought, when I got report from my fellow nurse that SURELY these people hate me for giving me this patient. When I was in law enforcement, I came across people like this regularly. They were obnoxious, demanding, made derogatory and degrading remarks.....BUT I didnt have to put up with it. I had tools to make this person's life even more miserable IF I really wanted to. Usually I just ignored them. BUT as a nurse we are expected to be respectful, compassionate and caring. And I am those things. HOWEVER, I really thought a full can of pepper spray might have served this person well.
This patient was a chronic drug user and abuser. This patient had been admitted for severe CHEST PAIN and refused to leave the hospital until treatment was completed for SAID chest pain. Ill call this person DA and refer to this person as a HER/she to "protect HER identity"....
DA was not getting the attention that she thought she deserved and needed. She had told the night nurse that while she was out smoking (dragging her IV pole behind her) that she had fallen 2 times. Obviously this meant that the patient was not safe while under the effect of pain meds so the pain meds were discontinued. Let me just add that this person received enough pain medication and antianxiety meds to put the normal person (nonuser) in a COMA. DA swore she was in horrible pain and needed pain medication....despite her being able to muster up the energy to trek 100 feet or more to the smoking area with her IV pole. While out smoking, DA decided that the smoking area was the appropriate place to answer the call of nature...#1 and #2. Yea thats right...in front of another patient. NICE>>> DA had also disconnected her IV causing blood to pour out all over the ground, her clothes and the IV pole. While the blood dripped from her body, DA proceeded to tie tiny little knots in her IV tubing all the way up the pole. She later denied that she had anything to do with this boyscout like maneuver. Im certain that she could have won a merit badge for her efforts. Also, after she returned to her room to be cleaned up, she decided that since she was no longer allowed to go OUTSIDE and smoke, that smoking in her room (with Oxygen) would be a much more logical alternative. That idea got nixed quickly by the night nurse who took her cigarettes and lighter.
So I inherited DA that morning from a greatly relieved night nurse who left a sticky note on my notebook saying "HAVE A GREAT DAY." She told me "You are gonna need it!!!" Im sure that a cloud of dust kicked up when the night nurse peeled out of the parking lot!!! Im she she didnt even look back!!!!
Before I could complete getting report from the nurse that had her, DA was calling for pain meds and nausea medication. So I knew that I had the honor of breaking it to her that her prescription crack had been discontinued. GREEEEAAAAT! So I jsut TOLD HER that she could not have any more pain medication because of her falls earlier in the night. She denied that she had even fallen. She denied the knot tying episode and that she even had ever complained of chest pain. She had pain elsewhere in her body. I told DA that we were not treating her with pain meds for some other problem but for the chest pain. She was very flustered. At any rate, the battle raged on for another 30 minutes or more. She even complained that we were not allowing her to get coffee, which was not true. We brought her a cup of coffee....deCAF naturally because caffeine is not good for someone with heart issues. I brought her one cup and later she asked our CNA for another cup.
After requesting a 3 cup of coffee from me, she explained that the night nurse had deprived her of the necessary coffee and she NEEDED coffee because she was used to smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day and drinking coffee to help get her going. I cant even begin to imagine. I would be a mess after one cigarette and a cup of coffee for sure. Talking about putting hair on your chest!! WHEW!
So as I was trying to chart back at the nurses station when DA came out with her IV pole in tow and her hospital jug in hand. She wanted me to put hot coffee on top of the coffee she had just dumped into the drink pitcher that had just been filled with ice. I know it didnt make sense. She wanted me to microwave the pitcher after adding more coffee that was hot to the now cold coffee. My brain ached. I know, its not supposed to make sense.
I stood there in front of my coworkers and this patient fighting with the plastic lid that covered the pitcher. No dice. I fought with it again, the little drinking staw bobbed back and forth. Coffee could be heard swooshing around inside.....WHEN SUDDENLY the lid popped off!!! Coffee lurched out of the cup and went all over DA!!! My coworkers around me had to muster up great strength not to BAAHA HA out loud. If they had been texting someone I feel certain they would have exclaimed LOL!!!!! multiple times!! I unconsciously exclaimed "God please have mercy on me!"I didnt even realize that I had said it. DA stated "HE MIGHT BUT I WONT??!!" I appologized and asked what she meant. She said "God might have mercy on you but I wont!!" I must have given her a look because she seemed to have changed her mind about that threat. I earnestly was asking God for mercy....You dont mess with God's children!!!
Thankfully the doctor came in a little later and discharged DA. My coworkers laughed at me saying that I must have intentionally doused DA with that coffee!! I truly had not! I felt bad for it....for a minute or two. I can not believe that it happened. What are the chances???!!! Oh well. No use crying over spilled milk right??? OR cold coffee either!
Oh and the creme de la creme???? The patient went home in blood and coffee saturated jeans and a t shirt that exclaimed "I have issues!" Here's your sign!
Yesterday at work I had one of the worst patients on the planet. I thought, when I got report from my fellow nurse that SURELY these people hate me for giving me this patient. When I was in law enforcement, I came across people like this regularly. They were obnoxious, demanding, made derogatory and degrading remarks.....BUT I didnt have to put up with it. I had tools to make this person's life even more miserable IF I really wanted to. Usually I just ignored them. BUT as a nurse we are expected to be respectful, compassionate and caring. And I am those things. HOWEVER, I really thought a full can of pepper spray might have served this person well.
This patient was a chronic drug user and abuser. This patient had been admitted for severe CHEST PAIN and refused to leave the hospital until treatment was completed for SAID chest pain. Ill call this person DA and refer to this person as a HER/she to "protect HER identity"....
DA was not getting the attention that she thought she deserved and needed. She had told the night nurse that while she was out smoking (dragging her IV pole behind her) that she had fallen 2 times. Obviously this meant that the patient was not safe while under the effect of pain meds so the pain meds were discontinued. Let me just add that this person received enough pain medication and antianxiety meds to put the normal person (nonuser) in a COMA. DA swore she was in horrible pain and needed pain medication....despite her being able to muster up the energy to trek 100 feet or more to the smoking area with her IV pole. While out smoking, DA decided that the smoking area was the appropriate place to answer the call of nature...#1 and #2. Yea thats right...in front of another patient. NICE>>> DA had also disconnected her IV causing blood to pour out all over the ground, her clothes and the IV pole. While the blood dripped from her body, DA proceeded to tie tiny little knots in her IV tubing all the way up the pole. She later denied that she had anything to do with this boyscout like maneuver. Im certain that she could have won a merit badge for her efforts. Also, after she returned to her room to be cleaned up, she decided that since she was no longer allowed to go OUTSIDE and smoke, that smoking in her room (with Oxygen) would be a much more logical alternative. That idea got nixed quickly by the night nurse who took her cigarettes and lighter.
So I inherited DA that morning from a greatly relieved night nurse who left a sticky note on my notebook saying "HAVE A GREAT DAY." She told me "You are gonna need it!!!" Im sure that a cloud of dust kicked up when the night nurse peeled out of the parking lot!!! Im she she didnt even look back!!!!
Before I could complete getting report from the nurse that had her, DA was calling for pain meds and nausea medication. So I knew that I had the honor of breaking it to her that her prescription crack had been discontinued. GREEEEAAAAT! So I jsut TOLD HER that she could not have any more pain medication because of her falls earlier in the night. She denied that she had even fallen. She denied the knot tying episode and that she even had ever complained of chest pain. She had pain elsewhere in her body. I told DA that we were not treating her with pain meds for some other problem but for the chest pain. She was very flustered. At any rate, the battle raged on for another 30 minutes or more. She even complained that we were not allowing her to get coffee, which was not true. We brought her a cup of coffee....deCAF naturally because caffeine is not good for someone with heart issues. I brought her one cup and later she asked our CNA for another cup.
After requesting a 3 cup of coffee from me, she explained that the night nurse had deprived her of the necessary coffee and she NEEDED coffee because she was used to smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day and drinking coffee to help get her going. I cant even begin to imagine. I would be a mess after one cigarette and a cup of coffee for sure. Talking about putting hair on your chest!! WHEW!
So as I was trying to chart back at the nurses station when DA came out with her IV pole in tow and her hospital jug in hand. She wanted me to put hot coffee on top of the coffee she had just dumped into the drink pitcher that had just been filled with ice. I know it didnt make sense. She wanted me to microwave the pitcher after adding more coffee that was hot to the now cold coffee. My brain ached. I know, its not supposed to make sense.
I stood there in front of my coworkers and this patient fighting with the plastic lid that covered the pitcher. No dice. I fought with it again, the little drinking staw bobbed back and forth. Coffee could be heard swooshing around inside.....WHEN SUDDENLY the lid popped off!!! Coffee lurched out of the cup and went all over DA!!! My coworkers around me had to muster up great strength not to BAAHA HA out loud. If they had been texting someone I feel certain they would have exclaimed LOL!!!!! multiple times!! I unconsciously exclaimed "God please have mercy on me!"I didnt even realize that I had said it. DA stated "HE MIGHT BUT I WONT??!!" I appologized and asked what she meant. She said "God might have mercy on you but I wont!!" I must have given her a look because she seemed to have changed her mind about that threat. I earnestly was asking God for mercy....You dont mess with God's children!!!
Thankfully the doctor came in a little later and discharged DA. My coworkers laughed at me saying that I must have intentionally doused DA with that coffee!! I truly had not! I felt bad for it....for a minute or two. I can not believe that it happened. What are the chances???!!! Oh well. No use crying over spilled milk right??? OR cold coffee either!
Oh and the creme de la creme???? The patient went home in blood and coffee saturated jeans and a t shirt that exclaimed "I have issues!" Here's your sign!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
BREATHEEEEE and HOLD!!
The other day while I was in Atlanta at the office of Vein Innovations (my new employer beginning in August), a patient was having his varicose veins ultrasounded to see if he had any reflux in his vessels. This whole concept is really fascinating. The examination and the vein closure procedure is really something to see. But while he was getting examined, the nurse David, was using ultrasound and applying pressure to the saphanous vein to see if the screen lit up red then blue indicating reflux. While David is doing this, he tells the patient to take a deep breath, hold it and then bear down slightly with his stomach muscles. Well, the power of suggestion has a strong grip on me so I ALWAYS catch myself holding my OWN breath when something like this happens. I dont know if it does any good for the patient but I guess its just my way of being supportive!
I will never forget a time while I was in nursing school, I had to have a rotation through labor and delivery. Anyone that has had a baby or has witnessed a person having a baby knows what kind of intense breathing women do while in labor. When not pushing a woman has to breath. So while observing this woman laboring on the table, Im standing at the foot of the bed breathing. Now when the nurses start telling this woman to push, my instinct is to help push right along with her.....Im not sure what good that did...but that BABY CAME OUT! I probably just about gave myself a hemorrhoid! Hyperventilation and a case of the hemorrhoids are not what I would consider perks of the job.
It was the same with feeding my two children. I catch myself doing it while feeding patients too. After I mix the baby food up and get it on the spoon, then I hold the spoon up to my child's mouth. The next step is to open my mouth, hoping that this will encourage my child to open her mouth up. Thats all fine and good when you are teaching a child how to eat, but NOT really NECESSARY once the child is almost a year old! CLOSE YOUR MOUTH ALREADY MOM!!! And do you think that my patient needs this kind of encouragement? Probably not. I know that I am going to do it so I try to force myself to keep my mouth shut! But I feel that unconscious motherly instinct thing trying to wrench my mouth open to show my little baby birds how to feed!!! To me this is all like trying to talk to someone that is blind. You might find yourself talking much louder and with you hands, much more than you would if the person could see normally. What sense does that make?? You CAN NOT get your point across any easier! And the blind person just thinks your a dork for yelling at them! Thank goodness they cant see your hands waving around in the air wildly. 
No Lance Armstrong.....
Today marks a huge event in my 6 year olds life....
She rode her bike today for the first time without training wheels!!! Most of today's events took place while I was at work...which is a good thing...but Ill get back to that in a moment. Today, being Sunday, I was at work until about 4PM. I was able to get off early because our patient census dropped. Soooo, Pete was at home working with Lila on pushing off and pedaling. He said that she just took right to it...in the grass. Placing her out on our long driveway she nutted and crashed. She just couldnt get going. Out on the grass, she was able to maintain her balance a little better and RIDE! Tonight after I ate dinner, I went out to watch this blessed event!! Lyndi and I watched (amusingly enough Lyndi stood next to me with her hands on her hips just like me!!)from the grass while Lila mounted her bike and began to pedal! She DID IT! Sure enough DID IT!! Of course, she is no Lance Armstong...YET!
Anyone that knows us, knows that Pete has been riding his bike in to work whenever circumstances permit. Thats a good 19 miles into Athens and 19 miles back home to Comer. He LOVES it!! So I think that cycling may be in her genes??!! Folks built as slight as Pete and Lila, can naturally excel at a lot of different sports. Heck! They are so light, they are kind of like sails flapping out there in the wind...if they can get the wind behind them...WATCH OUT!
So like I said, it was a good thing that I wasnt the one trying to work with Lila. Do not get me wrong, I love to teach. I love public speaking. I love it enough that IF I KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT, I can get kind a little high off of it. I guess its just an adrenaline rush from being OUT THERE in front of a crowd. For some its sky diving, for me running my yapper. I inherit that from my mom! Anyway, ( I get easily distracted) when it comes to teaching my beautiful, sweet child how to do stuff...it just gets all messed up. She yells and screams at me about how I made her NOT PEDAL AND CRASH ON THE BIKE!! OR because I didnt hold on just long enough that I made her not able to get going and make her crash. Either way, no matter whether I was holding on to her or within 15 feet of her, it was MY fault that things didnt go right. And on top of all of this vicarious failure that comes from me, I get all irritated when she doesnt get it right. So Im huffing and puffing and feeling like "FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME CHILD CAN YOU JUST PEDAL ALREADY???!!" I guess its the mother and daughter thing. I hate it. But it really just destroys my nerves when she tries to master something. Its just best that Daddy does it. Which is so strange to me. In the past, I have taught many people how to drive a stick shift. I have taught people how to complete various nursing tasks including inserting foley catheters and starting IVs. People have complemented me on my instruction skills. BUT when it comes to teaching my own little people....I get a big "D." I dont think its as bad as an "F." I dont get physical or call names or blame Pete's side of the family for HIS child's obvious shortcomings!
But I remember when I learned how to ride a bike. I do not remember anything but one event. Then I just was able to ride I guess. I remember being out on the road that was in front of our house. It was black asphalt and riddled with pot holes. Mr Colstead down the road used to try to fill the holes with black goop that I thought was just motor oil. Thinking back on it, I wonder if he used to just change the oil in his car and thought that was a clever way to dispose of the spent oil?
On my BLESSED day when I learned to ride my bike, I remember my mom and brother being outside with me. I remember being pushed from behind and being told to pedal. And pedal I did!!! STEER I DID NOT!! I remember feeling the wind against my face and the sheer joy of gliding down the road. And I remember the shrub that I encountered at full force!!! I remember the little sticky limbs that felt like little briars sticking me. I was WRECKED!! But my mom came rushing over cheering for me and trying to save me from the 6 year old eating bush! I guess I survived! But I dont know that I got back on my bike that day and rode. I bet my mom probably broke off a piece of the old Aloe plant that was the size of a VW, and smeared it across my wounds. You know, that stuff tastes like crap but it sure does heal a wound nicely!!
Now days I like to ride my bike, I just wish I had more time for it. Maybe now that Lila can ride, we can take Lyndi out in the little pull behind trailer and get Lila on her bike and take off. Once Lila gets a little bit of endurance up, we can take our bikes camping with us and ride some roads or fire roads somewhere. You know, thats what living is all about.
She rode her bike today for the first time without training wheels!!! Most of today's events took place while I was at work...which is a good thing...but Ill get back to that in a moment. Today, being Sunday, I was at work until about 4PM. I was able to get off early because our patient census dropped. Soooo, Pete was at home working with Lila on pushing off and pedaling. He said that she just took right to it...in the grass. Placing her out on our long driveway she nutted and crashed. She just couldnt get going. Out on the grass, she was able to maintain her balance a little better and RIDE! Tonight after I ate dinner, I went out to watch this blessed event!! Lyndi and I watched (amusingly enough Lyndi stood next to me with her hands on her hips just like me!!)from the grass while Lila mounted her bike and began to pedal! She DID IT! Sure enough DID IT!! Of course, she is no Lance Armstong...YET!
Anyone that knows us, knows that Pete has been riding his bike in to work whenever circumstances permit. Thats a good 19 miles into Athens and 19 miles back home to Comer. He LOVES it!! So I think that cycling may be in her genes??!! Folks built as slight as Pete and Lila, can naturally excel at a lot of different sports. Heck! They are so light, they are kind of like sails flapping out there in the wind...if they can get the wind behind them...WATCH OUT!
So like I said, it was a good thing that I wasnt the one trying to work with Lila. Do not get me wrong, I love to teach. I love public speaking. I love it enough that IF I KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT, I can get kind a little high off of it. I guess its just an adrenaline rush from being OUT THERE in front of a crowd. For some its sky diving, for me running my yapper. I inherit that from my mom! Anyway, ( I get easily distracted) when it comes to teaching my beautiful, sweet child how to do stuff...it just gets all messed up. She yells and screams at me about how I made her NOT PEDAL AND CRASH ON THE BIKE!! OR because I didnt hold on just long enough that I made her not able to get going and make her crash. Either way, no matter whether I was holding on to her or within 15 feet of her, it was MY fault that things didnt go right. And on top of all of this vicarious failure that comes from me, I get all irritated when she doesnt get it right. So Im huffing and puffing and feeling like "FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME CHILD CAN YOU JUST PEDAL ALREADY???!!" I guess its the mother and daughter thing. I hate it. But it really just destroys my nerves when she tries to master something. Its just best that Daddy does it. Which is so strange to me. In the past, I have taught many people how to drive a stick shift. I have taught people how to complete various nursing tasks including inserting foley catheters and starting IVs. People have complemented me on my instruction skills. BUT when it comes to teaching my own little people....I get a big "D." I dont think its as bad as an "F." I dont get physical or call names or blame Pete's side of the family for HIS child's obvious shortcomings!
But I remember when I learned how to ride a bike. I do not remember anything but one event. Then I just was able to ride I guess. I remember being out on the road that was in front of our house. It was black asphalt and riddled with pot holes. Mr Colstead down the road used to try to fill the holes with black goop that I thought was just motor oil. Thinking back on it, I wonder if he used to just change the oil in his car and thought that was a clever way to dispose of the spent oil?
On my BLESSED day when I learned to ride my bike, I remember my mom and brother being outside with me. I remember being pushed from behind and being told to pedal. And pedal I did!!! STEER I DID NOT!! I remember feeling the wind against my face and the sheer joy of gliding down the road. And I remember the shrub that I encountered at full force!!! I remember the little sticky limbs that felt like little briars sticking me. I was WRECKED!! But my mom came rushing over cheering for me and trying to save me from the 6 year old eating bush! I guess I survived! But I dont know that I got back on my bike that day and rode. I bet my mom probably broke off a piece of the old Aloe plant that was the size of a VW, and smeared it across my wounds. You know, that stuff tastes like crap but it sure does heal a wound nicely!!
Now days I like to ride my bike, I just wish I had more time for it. Maybe now that Lila can ride, we can take Lyndi out in the little pull behind trailer and get Lila on her bike and take off. Once Lila gets a little bit of endurance up, we can take our bikes camping with us and ride some roads or fire roads somewhere. You know, thats what living is all about.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
35 and a few months
Working in health care, I always have the opportunity to meet the most amazing people. The oldest person I have ever met was 103 years old. I can not imagine living to be 103. I dont know if people would be as fascinated with me as we were with that particular patient. I also dont think that my memory would hold up. I already feel like I have early Alzheimer's disease at times. I would have to just make some stuff up about what life was like in the "olden days." Its not like anyone else would know the difference. Once you get that old, I doubt that you have many family members still around that could argue with you. You might could actually convince some great great great great grandyoungin that INDEED you DID date some famous actor like Brad Pitt back in the day. Not that they would know or even care about Brad or his love life.
Its hard to believe that when I was a little girl I used to pray EVERY night that I would live to be 103 some day. Im not sure what made 103 so fascinating. But I prayed it. And NOW I hope that that prayer falls under one of those things that God just dismissed as a childish wish.
Last night at church, our bible study teacher Jerry was talking about eternal life. I have to admit that what he said after the eternal life comment got lost on me. I was too busy pondering what it will be like to live forever. To be truly honest, I felt kind of tense about it. I know that sounds silly. Who wouldnt want to live forever in Utopia with Jesus, God and Grandpa?? But in my human mind I still cling to Earthly life experience. I can only base what I know on my personal knowledge of life here on Earth. Yea, I know thats incorrect thinking but....
I tend to forget that in our eternal life, no one will be sick. No anxiety, depression, anger, hatred, back talk, fear, death, stench, thievery, ill will, rebuke, sulphur water, road kill or the like will exist. But death, eternal rest will never exist either. The rest part will I suppose. A life long vacation of sorts. Can you imagine that? I can not. I mean, other than praising God (which is great!!!), what will we have to do there? When we talk to others we can not ask "how's your Mama annem?" Because we will already KNOW the answer. We probably wont have to ask anyone if they need anything. I imagine we will already have it or not even long for anything. And you know there wouldnt be television in Heaven for all the tv junkies. Other than cooking shows and HGTV what would there be to watch since those shows seem to be the only ones that arent spoiled by profanity, perversion and sex. Praise and worship hymns will be great! Learning all the secrets of life will be great! Maybe we will get to explore the vast Universe out there that we know little about. I just dont know. Maybe God has made a vast PLAY ground out there that would cause us to never even think about how long our lives will be?
Can you imagine not having to WORK for something? I know I havent gotten any where in THIS life not having to work hard for it. I hope we have tasks in Heaven. I hope we get to serve each other. I hope we get to spend quality time with Jesus. I hope that I have a MUCH BETTER singing voice in Heaven. And since Gluttony is a SIN, I guess that kind of rules out buffet bars???
Anyway, Ive made it to 35 and a few months. I feel confident that when I leave this life that I WILL go to the Heaven we have been promised. I just can not begin to fathom what TRUE perfection and greatness is going to be like. I can not imagine with my selfish, banana nut muffin loving, cobbler from EMH coveting, sleeping in late desiring, HUMAN MIND what it will be like. I just hope that I dont have a full 68 more years (to 103) to wait until I get there. I guess Ill just have to relax once I do get there and stop worrying for once in my life. Then I can pick up the hymnal and actually sing a NEW (beautiful) song to God and Jesus with my NEW voice!
Its hard to believe that when I was a little girl I used to pray EVERY night that I would live to be 103 some day. Im not sure what made 103 so fascinating. But I prayed it. And NOW I hope that that prayer falls under one of those things that God just dismissed as a childish wish.
Last night at church, our bible study teacher Jerry was talking about eternal life. I have to admit that what he said after the eternal life comment got lost on me. I was too busy pondering what it will be like to live forever. To be truly honest, I felt kind of tense about it. I know that sounds silly. Who wouldnt want to live forever in Utopia with Jesus, God and Grandpa?? But in my human mind I still cling to Earthly life experience. I can only base what I know on my personal knowledge of life here on Earth. Yea, I know thats incorrect thinking but....
I tend to forget that in our eternal life, no one will be sick. No anxiety, depression, anger, hatred, back talk, fear, death, stench, thievery, ill will, rebuke, sulphur water, road kill or the like will exist. But death, eternal rest will never exist either. The rest part will I suppose. A life long vacation of sorts. Can you imagine that? I can not. I mean, other than praising God (which is great!!!), what will we have to do there? When we talk to others we can not ask "how's your Mama annem?" Because we will already KNOW the answer. We probably wont have to ask anyone if they need anything. I imagine we will already have it or not even long for anything. And you know there wouldnt be television in Heaven for all the tv junkies. Other than cooking shows and HGTV what would there be to watch since those shows seem to be the only ones that arent spoiled by profanity, perversion and sex. Praise and worship hymns will be great! Learning all the secrets of life will be great! Maybe we will get to explore the vast Universe out there that we know little about. I just dont know. Maybe God has made a vast PLAY ground out there that would cause us to never even think about how long our lives will be?
Can you imagine not having to WORK for something? I know I havent gotten any where in THIS life not having to work hard for it. I hope we have tasks in Heaven. I hope we get to serve each other. I hope we get to spend quality time with Jesus. I hope that I have a MUCH BETTER singing voice in Heaven. And since Gluttony is a SIN, I guess that kind of rules out buffet bars???
Anyway, Ive made it to 35 and a few months. I feel confident that when I leave this life that I WILL go to the Heaven we have been promised. I just can not begin to fathom what TRUE perfection and greatness is going to be like. I can not imagine with my selfish, banana nut muffin loving, cobbler from EMH coveting, sleeping in late desiring, HUMAN MIND what it will be like. I just hope that I dont have a full 68 more years (to 103) to wait until I get there. I guess Ill just have to relax once I do get there and stop worrying for once in my life. Then I can pick up the hymnal and actually sing a NEW (beautiful) song to God and Jesus with my NEW voice!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Turnip trucks and such
In one of my previous blogs I mentioned how much I love Southerisms and the South in general. It put me in mind of a funny story...funny to me now....funny to you??? WHo KNOWS! Funny to the guys we arrested...ummm not so much!
One night I was out on patrol with a new officer to our police department. I would fully hesitate to call him a "trainee" in the sense that he was already fully trained since we got him from the Sheriff's department. In fact, I would venture to say that he knew a lot more about running traffic and law enforcement than I did. But thats not really relevant to my story.....
So Tony and I were on patrol one night on midnight shift. We were just riding around downtown where I used to live "just lookin for trouble." Im sure it was probably a Thursday night which was the BIG partying night in the small college town that we lived in. Anyone that has ever lived in Milledgeville has probably been to the Opera House or the Brick on a Thursday night. I currently work with a guy that had a friend that lived in Milledgeville, that freely admitted to me that he got buck wild at the Opera House during a visit. Im not sure what the draw is...but it is what it is! So anyway, back to being on patrol....
Tony and I were quite bored. Tony was driving and eagle eyeing all vehicles in our vicinity. He was looking for expired tags, weaving, running red lights and yea, maybe even a tail light out. Now I would NEVER write someone a ticket for having a tail light out but it is a good conversation starter with drunks.
As I was gazing out the window thinking how exciting it is to live in a small college town, Tony throws on the lights and sirens and begins calling out the tag of a car about half a block ahead of us. As soon as he turned on the lights and sirens, the fellow and his passenger decided that the "pretty lights" were a signal to speed up and drive erratically!
Tony pressed the gas a little harder. The engine of the patrol car groaned. Off we went! I thought that we were about to initiate a chase! Suddenly a baggy went sailing out of the window of the car! Im sure the bag contained Oregano! No one ever wants to be caught dead with that culinary object in their possession. I havent been able to figure that one out!
Tony got right up on the bumper of the car and hit his air horn! The driver whooped the car into the parking lot of a funeral home! Thus, ending our "chase" prematurely!! DARN IT! The driver side door flings open and the driver begins to try to run. As we WHOOPED into the parking lot, I see that the passenger is about to run so I decided that I was not going to let a culinary expert such as one of these boys go without a good pat on the back! Tony slams the car into park and grabs the driver! I brought the passenger over to where Tony was handcuffing his driver. This college age boy was trying to throw us off his trail and did not want to reveal to us PO POs the fact that he and Rachel Ray had a lot in common!
Tony asked him what he had thrown out the window of his car. The boy said that he just threw out some trash. Tony asked him again what he had thrown out the window. Same answer. Tony began shining his high powered MAG flashlight at the boy and began to laugh! He said "BOOOOYYYYY Do you THINK that I JUST FELL OFF THE TURNIP TRUCK LAST NIGHT????" (This was the first and only time I have ever heard this expression!) The boy looked at Tony with a dumb expression....a dumb GUILTY expression!
When the boy and his passenger had decided that getting caught with said baggy full of the green leafy substance that we will assume was oregano, might not be a good thing....they came up with the idea that they should kindly dispose of their refuse in the middle of the road! So, the $400 littering fine would be a good alternative to the possession charge for marijuana that they could have faced....RIGHT????? 
After having placed my detainee in the back of the patrol car....for HIS safety, I went and recovered said baggy and did discover this baggy had plenty of sprigs (of Oregano) still present in the bag. The boy BOLDLY declared that that was NOT his!!! But when Tony had shown his flashlight on the heads of this BOOOOYYYYY, we were able to clearly see that while tossing this baggy out the window, the wind caught the baggy and BLEW its contents back on the driver and the passenger and sprayed its contents in their hair, on their faces and all over the interior of the car!!!! HARRRRDEEEEHAARRRRHARRRR
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Test Anxiety
You know those awful dreams where you find yourself sitting in class and its test time and you dont have a clue whats been going on in class for the last...ummmm year or more and nothing on the test looks remotely familiar or makes any kind of sense? AND you are probably naked or have gas or something horrible... like you wore the wrong clothes and everyone hates you???!! GASP!! PANIC! I hate those stinking dreams and I have been having a lot of them lately. Either that or I dream that I am at work and Im clueless...which is probably close to how I feel sometimes. I dreamt the other night that I literally had on two different shoes. They were even different colors. I think one was red and the other blue. So that told me two things 1) I dream in color 2) Im anxious about being clueless.
I have always been my own worst critic. Despite my somewhat calm outward appearance, I really am somewhat of a perfectionist on the inside. I dont like doing anything half heartedly. Now, does that mean that I always get everything 100%? Absolutely not! But I do try very hard. And if I fail, who do you think is going to beat me up the most? Yea..me. I have always been like that too. I remember when I was in 4th grade and we had to take our spelling test home to have it signed. I had done really poorly on the test. I was terribly ashamed. I didnt want my parents to know that I had failed. I hate failure! And so I decided in my 4th grade mind that I could probably pull off trying to sign my Dad's signature. So I tried to trace his name out. I probably had some awkward breaks in some of the letters as I was trying to save my own skin. So after I thought I had done a decent job at forging his signature I turned it in to my teacher the next morning. I was sick to my stomach.
That afternoon, my teacher handed me a note. I had to take the note home to my Dad. I knew I had been found out. I wanted to throw up! I waited as late as I could to give that note to my Dad. I really wanted to die for disappointing him. I just knew he was going to beat my tail! I waited and waited and waited. Finally my Dad called me into the living room. I had been hiding out in my bedroom dreading still being alive!
My Dad asked me if I knew why I got a letter sent home. I spilled my guts. He asked me if I knew why I had gotten a letter home instead of going to see the Principle to get a paddling? I did not have a clue. I figured that my teacher thought that a good flogging with my Dad's 1970's model leather belt, would do a criminal forger like me a lot of good! Instead, he said that when I started school, he had told my teacher not to send me to the office to see the Principle. He wanted her to write him a note and let him know what I had done.
Would you know that my Dad only talked to me and never gave me a spanking for that?! I had enough guilt and shame to last nearly a year after that crime spree. If I had gone to see the Principle and gotten a good butt whoopin, I would have gotten over that in a day or two. But the thought of letting my Dad down......torture!
So anyway, today, I was nursing SUPERVISOR of the ENTIRE hospital. ME! Let me just say that I prayed last night and this morning that all would go well. God was with me today. No codes, no fires, no disasters and basically no problems! I filled in for another nurse that was out sick. But let me just say that I had to do a shoe check this morning to make sure I had on a matching pair!! And I did have on clothes...never mind that I had on striped underwear underneath tan scrub pants. I bet when I bent over that you could see the stripes! Not cool! But if that was the worst of my problems, that was ok!!!
Alas, I survived and I did it with my clothes on and with matching shoes!! Thank God!
I have always been my own worst critic. Despite my somewhat calm outward appearance, I really am somewhat of a perfectionist on the inside. I dont like doing anything half heartedly. Now, does that mean that I always get everything 100%? Absolutely not! But I do try very hard. And if I fail, who do you think is going to beat me up the most? Yea..me. I have always been like that too. I remember when I was in 4th grade and we had to take our spelling test home to have it signed. I had done really poorly on the test. I was terribly ashamed. I didnt want my parents to know that I had failed. I hate failure! And so I decided in my 4th grade mind that I could probably pull off trying to sign my Dad's signature. So I tried to trace his name out. I probably had some awkward breaks in some of the letters as I was trying to save my own skin. So after I thought I had done a decent job at forging his signature I turned it in to my teacher the next morning. I was sick to my stomach.
That afternoon, my teacher handed me a note. I had to take the note home to my Dad. I knew I had been found out. I wanted to throw up! I waited as late as I could to give that note to my Dad. I really wanted to die for disappointing him. I just knew he was going to beat my tail! I waited and waited and waited. Finally my Dad called me into the living room. I had been hiding out in my bedroom dreading still being alive!
My Dad asked me if I knew why I got a letter sent home. I spilled my guts. He asked me if I knew why I had gotten a letter home instead of going to see the Principle to get a paddling? I did not have a clue. I figured that my teacher thought that a good flogging with my Dad's 1970's model leather belt, would do a criminal forger like me a lot of good! Instead, he said that when I started school, he had told my teacher not to send me to the office to see the Principle. He wanted her to write him a note and let him know what I had done.
Would you know that my Dad only talked to me and never gave me a spanking for that?! I had enough guilt and shame to last nearly a year after that crime spree. If I had gone to see the Principle and gotten a good butt whoopin, I would have gotten over that in a day or two. But the thought of letting my Dad down......torture!
So anyway, today, I was nursing SUPERVISOR of the ENTIRE hospital. ME! Let me just say that I prayed last night and this morning that all would go well. God was with me today. No codes, no fires, no disasters and basically no problems! I filled in for another nurse that was out sick. But let me just say that I had to do a shoe check this morning to make sure I had on a matching pair!! And I did have on clothes...never mind that I had on striped underwear underneath tan scrub pants. I bet when I bent over that you could see the stripes! Not cool! But if that was the worst of my problems, that was ok!!!
Alas, I survived and I did it with my clothes on and with matching shoes!! Thank God!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Baking magic
Not that I really NEED to be baking and eating cake....
I have found the COOLEST piece of bakeware ever! Now dont get me wrong, Im not trying to sell you anything, but should you choose to follow in my cool footsteps...well then Id say that was just a normal inclination on your part! :)
Seriously, I went to this Tupperware party back in the Spring. I came across this dish that you can "bake" a cake in the microwave in only 10 minutes! Disgusting huh? I thought, yea I will try it and throw away $19.50. Well, I have used it 4 times now and I love it! Now the cake comes out in kind of a funny shape, but its still tasty and SO EASY! I also see that they have square pan, that might be better if you are wanting to bake a cake to decorate and share with others (others that might be kind of particular about shape and appearance). Now supposedly you are supposed to be able to mix the mix in the dish, I tried that and I didnt get the egg mixed in well. That caused a blob of egg to form on the outside. Not good. But I have found that if I spray the pan with Pam, mix the cake mix in a bowl and pour it in the pan, the cake comes out GREAT! Then after you get it in the pan, put it in the microwave for 10 minutes on the normal setting and WAAALLLLAAA! The cake is very moist and just great!
I think Im going to try the square pan. Who knows when you might need a dessert one evening at church and you dont have time to preheat the oven, get the pans ready, mix and bake for 30 minutes. 10 minutes and you are good! Also, with this oval pan, it makes kind of a little resevoir in the middle. I baked a chocolate cake, sliced it long ways and put chocolate pudding in the middle. Then I put cherry pie filling in the little resevoir area....DELICIOUS!
If you interested in this pan, please contact heatheraposey@yahoo.com she is the nice person that sold me mine! She is super nice! And its called the Heat and Serve 8 ¼ Cup (2 L) Oval Container.
Happy Eats! Ive got to go now and get another piece of cake! :) TOODLES
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Blogs
Just so you know, I transferred all of my blogs from Mypace to here. I tried to keep the original date and title on each one. Some of my friends dont have a Myspace page....Yea I know...What kind of weirdo doesnt have one right?? :) Well, for anyone to really appreciate the REAL me, they should read my past blogs. No body function, child drama, childhood trauma or otherwise is too good to NOT to blog about! If you have a weak stomach or humor..please dont read what I write. I am a nurse and nothing is sacred. After the removal of my gallbladder, I posted pictures of my surgical wounds to Myspace. So the faint of heart need not visit my blog spot! God Bless and Happy reading!
Baggage
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Baggage...
We all have it. Some people's baggage is carry on size..others are the carry on, the garment bag, the roll behind and the extra large duffel bag with rollers. When I married Pete, I knew that our marriage was coming together with some fairly heavy baggage for the simple fact that Pete had been married and had a child. Of course I never really thought about how some of the baggage would come with his ex's name tag labeled on it! But alas, we have been married for almost 8 years. And, some of that baggage got shed in the last year or so....Thank the Lord.
But then there is MY baggage. Back when I was 23, I married a fellow (some of you know him personally and witnessed this whole event...he will go nameless for blogging purposes) that I had met through work. Now, on the outside, I might have appeared at 23 like I was very confident and some what intimidating to the opposite sex. I was fairly athletic, tall, slender and opinionated. Right before me and the ex got married, I started working with the UGA police.
BUT...despite the outside display of confidence, I think I suffered from a bit of a low self esteem. I grew up thinking that I always had to have the approval of others. I needed acceptance. I had at that point kind of strayed away from going to church. I definitely didnt have a church "home." I had been a SERIAL monogamist (dating one person for approximately 2 years, breaking up and dating the next person for 2 years.) I had been going to college for a while and just didnt know what I wanted to do with my life. So I didnt have a degree or a sense of COMPLETION at that point in time.
SO then I met my ex. I think of him now like a con man. He had an incredible talent of telling me what I wanted (needed) to hear. For the first time, this tomboy athlete was "pretty," "beautiful," "SMART," "funny" and (get this) "fun." Jeans and a t shirt (my basic wardrobe) was not frumpy or boring. And you know how when you think your life is bad and you hear about someone else's train wreck for a life and you feel better?? Well he had the train wreck. Dysfunctional....described his whole life. Now dont get me wrong...dysfunctional fits my life easily too....just to a lesser degree. So all of a sudden I had all the great qualities and I was NEEDED. Someone loved me and NEEDED me.
I know this sounds sad and pathetic...but the thing is, I think a lot of young girls today are seeking these things too. I have spent my whole life trying to get approval because of some childhood issues. So when I cast out my line, I came back with this one. Our girls need help knowing how great they are...from both parents. Otherwise, the sad truth is that they are going to seek it out from someone else..usually a member of the opposite sex.
So I got married. I brought my carry on luggage and a suitcase. And before I even headed into the marriage I knew it was a bad idea. But I did not think that I deserved better or could ever find better. Plus I thought, dysfunctional + dysfunctional = potential for improvement.....Ok I was only 23. What did I know???
Well...so then Mr Dysfunctional starts bringing some of that baggage into the living room. Scattered it around the bedroom. Stacked it up on the couch. I think that DEPRESSION started to come out. ANGER from the past. LETHARGY from depression and anger showed up at the door. And we had a mess. Lies, lies, lies and manipulation started. Suddenly I wasnt so pretty and smart...instead I was a NAG and bossy. Hygiene went to the way side (good sign of depression). SLEEPING increased (another flag). Then strange people called the house for him (of my sex not his). I could not see myself living the next 50 years in a situation like that. So I got out.
I guess in a way it was a really good thing that I was young when I experienced that. Because if I had been in a situation like that for 20 years and THEN had to get out...its a lot harder to get out when you are 40 something when you have a house payment, cars, children, extended families and all the other bonds that are formed in marriages.But the thing I was most glad to get out of this experience at 25 was the knowledge of what I wanted out of a REAL marriage and a SPOUSE.
Now the last 8 years of our marriage (mine and Pete's) havent EVER been that fairytale marriage that young girls dream of....But I have a spouse thats honest, faithful, hardworking, a Christian and in this for the long haul. Yes we have had a few "disagreements" over the baggage...ok maybe more than a few. There have been hurt feelings and anger. But no one has ever said that marriage was easy. Most people say you have to work at marriage. And I think that is ESPECIALLY true for 2nd marriages (since most end in divorce).
So now the end of the story....I was contacted via birthday card by Mr. Ex. It was a strange experience for me. He informed me that he didnt hate me. Well here is an excerpt:
I guess you were glad to hear that I moved to --- ------. I don't hate you Marci. You did what you had to do with your life. I think about you every once and a while. I hope everyday brings you closer to what you want.
And truthfully, I never once thought in the last 8-9 years that I havent spoken to him about whether or not he hated me. I never thought about that baggage at all....well except to ask for forgiveness from God for breaking a promise of marriage before him (God). I felt horrible about that. But God does forgive and show mercy...even for that I think.
So then he told me that he wanted to ask me a question. He wouldnt come out right about it. But I think he wanted to know why I left. Like pregnancy and childbirth, I think he has forgotten all the goings on during our brief marriage. And the fact that he remarried also, must have made him forget WHY we divorced. But he added:
When you left me you destroyed me. I loved you so much. Your the one who broke our wedding promise. And who are you to judge me.
I'm just reaching out to you to because your a part of my life (BAGGAGE)that has been left in question. I don't want you to be angry with me. I just want you to know that if you need someone to talk to who knows you then I'm here.
So I have spent some time thinking about my old piece of luggage that I toted around for a while. It was worn, duct taped, frayed and soiled (by lies and disgust). And I thought about my new set of luggage. The one that I acquired when Pete and I married. I love my new luggage. Its got a few holes in it. Its heavy some times. REALLY heavy sometimes. Sometimes I want to pack it up and move to the mountains. Sometimes I want to sit it out on the curb for Monday morning trash pickup. But I dont. I keep it. Its got all the things I need in it. Its durable. Its flexible. Its not flashy or gaudy. Its OURS. Mine and Pete's.
And really, I dont need someone else that thinks that they REALLY know me...back from 8-9 years ago. Im no longer 23 years old. Im no longer that young girl that has to hear that Im pretty and smart all the time (sometimes is good). And I am bossy....I have two little ones that I have to boss around. I have approval from my little family. Im the Mama.
So that old piece of baggage that I hadnt thought about in a long time or angsted about....its going to the curb at the end of our driveway for trash pickup. God already forgave me for my mistake. Im going to let the trashman take away that old burden in the morning!!!oh and PS: he emailed me some pics of him and his new wife....he was wearing a bathing suit and no shirt. Now cant you just see me emailing pics of me in a bikini to ex loves??? Not that I am ashamed. I think I look pretty good for 35 and 2 kids later. Pale but good! :) But I can promise you that the last image I wanted to see was of my EX half naked......
Baggage...
We all have it. Some people's baggage is carry on size..others are the carry on, the garment bag, the roll behind and the extra large duffel bag with rollers. When I married Pete, I knew that our marriage was coming together with some fairly heavy baggage for the simple fact that Pete had been married and had a child. Of course I never really thought about how some of the baggage would come with his ex's name tag labeled on it! But alas, we have been married for almost 8 years. And, some of that baggage got shed in the last year or so....Thank the Lord.
But then there is MY baggage. Back when I was 23, I married a fellow (some of you know him personally and witnessed this whole event...he will go nameless for blogging purposes) that I had met through work. Now, on the outside, I might have appeared at 23 like I was very confident and some what intimidating to the opposite sex. I was fairly athletic, tall, slender and opinionated. Right before me and the ex got married, I started working with the UGA police.
BUT...despite the outside display of confidence, I think I suffered from a bit of a low self esteem. I grew up thinking that I always had to have the approval of others. I needed acceptance. I had at that point kind of strayed away from going to church. I definitely didnt have a church "home." I had been a SERIAL monogamist (dating one person for approximately 2 years, breaking up and dating the next person for 2 years.) I had been going to college for a while and just didnt know what I wanted to do with my life. So I didnt have a degree or a sense of COMPLETION at that point in time.
SO then I met my ex. I think of him now like a con man. He had an incredible talent of telling me what I wanted (needed) to hear. For the first time, this tomboy athlete was "pretty," "beautiful," "SMART," "funny" and (get this) "fun." Jeans and a t shirt (my basic wardrobe) was not frumpy or boring. And you know how when you think your life is bad and you hear about someone else's train wreck for a life and you feel better?? Well he had the train wreck. Dysfunctional....described his whole life. Now dont get me wrong...dysfunctional fits my life easily too....just to a lesser degree. So all of a sudden I had all the great qualities and I was NEEDED. Someone loved me and NEEDED me.
I know this sounds sad and pathetic...but the thing is, I think a lot of young girls today are seeking these things too. I have spent my whole life trying to get approval because of some childhood issues. So when I cast out my line, I came back with this one. Our girls need help knowing how great they are...from both parents. Otherwise, the sad truth is that they are going to seek it out from someone else..usually a member of the opposite sex.
So I got married. I brought my carry on luggage and a suitcase. And before I even headed into the marriage I knew it was a bad idea. But I did not think that I deserved better or could ever find better. Plus I thought, dysfunctional + dysfunctional = potential for improvement.....Ok I was only 23. What did I know???
Well...so then Mr Dysfunctional starts bringing some of that baggage into the living room. Scattered it around the bedroom. Stacked it up on the couch. I think that DEPRESSION started to come out. ANGER from the past. LETHARGY from depression and anger showed up at the door. And we had a mess. Lies, lies, lies and manipulation started. Suddenly I wasnt so pretty and smart...instead I was a NAG and bossy. Hygiene went to the way side (good sign of depression). SLEEPING increased (another flag). Then strange people called the house for him (of my sex not his). I could not see myself living the next 50 years in a situation like that. So I got out.
I guess in a way it was a really good thing that I was young when I experienced that. Because if I had been in a situation like that for 20 years and THEN had to get out...its a lot harder to get out when you are 40 something when you have a house payment, cars, children, extended families and all the other bonds that are formed in marriages.But the thing I was most glad to get out of this experience at 25 was the knowledge of what I wanted out of a REAL marriage and a SPOUSE.
Now the last 8 years of our marriage (mine and Pete's) havent EVER been that fairytale marriage that young girls dream of....But I have a spouse thats honest, faithful, hardworking, a Christian and in this for the long haul. Yes we have had a few "disagreements" over the baggage...ok maybe more than a few. There have been hurt feelings and anger. But no one has ever said that marriage was easy. Most people say you have to work at marriage. And I think that is ESPECIALLY true for 2nd marriages (since most end in divorce).
So now the end of the story....I was contacted via birthday card by Mr. Ex. It was a strange experience for me. He informed me that he didnt hate me. Well here is an excerpt:
I guess you were glad to hear that I moved to --- ------. I don't hate you Marci. You did what you had to do with your life. I think about you every once and a while. I hope everyday brings you closer to what you want.
And truthfully, I never once thought in the last 8-9 years that I havent spoken to him about whether or not he hated me. I never thought about that baggage at all....well except to ask for forgiveness from God for breaking a promise of marriage before him (God). I felt horrible about that. But God does forgive and show mercy...even for that I think.
So then he told me that he wanted to ask me a question. He wouldnt come out right about it. But I think he wanted to know why I left. Like pregnancy and childbirth, I think he has forgotten all the goings on during our brief marriage. And the fact that he remarried also, must have made him forget WHY we divorced. But he added:
When you left me you destroyed me. I loved you so much. Your the one who broke our wedding promise. And who are you to judge me.
I'm just reaching out to you to because your a part of my life (BAGGAGE)that has been left in question. I don't want you to be angry with me. I just want you to know that if you need someone to talk to who knows you then I'm here.
So I have spent some time thinking about my old piece of luggage that I toted around for a while. It was worn, duct taped, frayed and soiled (by lies and disgust). And I thought about my new set of luggage. The one that I acquired when Pete and I married. I love my new luggage. Its got a few holes in it. Its heavy some times. REALLY heavy sometimes. Sometimes I want to pack it up and move to the mountains. Sometimes I want to sit it out on the curb for Monday morning trash pickup. But I dont. I keep it. Its got all the things I need in it. Its durable. Its flexible. Its not flashy or gaudy. Its OURS. Mine and Pete's.
And really, I dont need someone else that thinks that they REALLY know me...back from 8-9 years ago. Im no longer 23 years old. Im no longer that young girl that has to hear that Im pretty and smart all the time (sometimes is good). And I am bossy....I have two little ones that I have to boss around. I have approval from my little family. Im the Mama.
So that old piece of baggage that I hadnt thought about in a long time or angsted about....its going to the curb at the end of our driveway for trash pickup. God already forgave me for my mistake. Im going to let the trashman take away that old burden in the morning!!!oh and PS: he emailed me some pics of him and his new wife....he was wearing a bathing suit and no shirt. Now cant you just see me emailing pics of me in a bikini to ex loves??? Not that I am ashamed. I think I look pretty good for 35 and 2 kids later. Pale but good! :) But I can promise you that the last image I wanted to see was of my EX half naked......
Just Plain Weird
Just plain weird
Have you have had a moment when your brain seemed to literally connect to another person's brain and you had the same thought? My marriage has been like that forever. Pete and I are always thinking the same thing. But Im not talking about that exactly. Ive had two occasions where this has happened with people that are not my family or spouse.
Once in college I had this great professor. He taught sociology classes. I think I was taking Juvenile delinquency from him. His name was Terry (he died of a heart attack in his late 40's.) Anyway, Terry had asked the class a question. Not even a cricket could be heard chirping in the room. None of those "kids" (since I was an old 29) had a clue what the answer was...And I wasnt willing to raise my hand and answer...I just thought the answer in my head. And Terry said "thats right Marci, say that again." And I thought...now thats odd...I hadnt even opened my mouth! A friend of mine that sat next to me said after class that she never heard me say anything. So I repeated the thought that I had in my head out loud...and it was the right answer. That was WEIRD.
Then on Wed I went to the chiropractor. My chiropractor is really cool. We went to high school together. He doesnt remember me but I remember him. But anyway, while I was sitting in the room, he was asking me about how I was feeling or something. My thoughts turned to a friend of mine that is in the hospital. I have been emailing several people asking for prayers for her. While I was thinking of her, my chiropractor said "How's she doing?" And I was like, SURELY he is asking about Lyndi since she was with me. He said, "No your friend." I thought that was so odd. It was too random to be coincidence. But it seems like that happened one other time with him too. I dismissed that time. This time I didnt.
The human mind is so amazing. Perhaps its not that this is a rare occurrence. But in fact, maybe it happens pretty often, we just dont know it because we dont talk about whatever thought it is we were having. I tend to drift off in thought a lot when people talk. Maybe we might be thinking the same thing, I just might not want you to know that my attention span just gave out!
Have you have had a moment when your brain seemed to literally connect to another person's brain and you had the same thought? My marriage has been like that forever. Pete and I are always thinking the same thing. But Im not talking about that exactly. Ive had two occasions where this has happened with people that are not my family or spouse.
Once in college I had this great professor. He taught sociology classes. I think I was taking Juvenile delinquency from him. His name was Terry (he died of a heart attack in his late 40's.) Anyway, Terry had asked the class a question. Not even a cricket could be heard chirping in the room. None of those "kids" (since I was an old 29) had a clue what the answer was...And I wasnt willing to raise my hand and answer...I just thought the answer in my head. And Terry said "thats right Marci, say that again." And I thought...now thats odd...I hadnt even opened my mouth! A friend of mine that sat next to me said after class that she never heard me say anything. So I repeated the thought that I had in my head out loud...and it was the right answer. That was WEIRD.
Then on Wed I went to the chiropractor. My chiropractor is really cool. We went to high school together. He doesnt remember me but I remember him. But anyway, while I was sitting in the room, he was asking me about how I was feeling or something. My thoughts turned to a friend of mine that is in the hospital. I have been emailing several people asking for prayers for her. While I was thinking of her, my chiropractor said "How's she doing?" And I was like, SURELY he is asking about Lyndi since she was with me. He said, "No your friend." I thought that was so odd. It was too random to be coincidence. But it seems like that happened one other time with him too. I dismissed that time. This time I didnt.
The human mind is so amazing. Perhaps its not that this is a rare occurrence. But in fact, maybe it happens pretty often, we just dont know it because we dont talk about whatever thought it is we were having. I tend to drift off in thought a lot when people talk. Maybe we might be thinking the same thing, I just might not want you to know that my attention span just gave out!
Rectum?? DAMN NEAR KILLED UM!
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Rectum?? DAMN NEAR KILLED UM!
Ok, Im going into about 26 hours of not having solid food. I have had the pleasure of partaking in chicken broth (Sweet Sue..which is actually tasty), Gatorade, Minty Sweet tea (home brew from my own home grown mint), water, gingerale and banana Popsicles. I have taken 20 tablets the size of a paperclip to cause my bowels to turn inside out and force out any sort of yuck my body has produced as waste. I have been to the bathroom approximately 15 times. I think the chicken broth has passed through without so much as even a slight pause past my stomach.
I am having a COLONOSCOPY tomorrow at 8 AM. I am seeing Dr Williams tomorrow for the procedure. I dont know if I'll ever really see him or if I will be sent to La La Land first. Im sure he will be a gentleman and tell me what he is going to do to me before choosing the large snake like scope he plans to use for my procedure.
He tells me that I need to have one of these every year. I am pretty sceptical about this. I wonder in the back of mind whether I am really just helping to put his kids through school by having a yearly exam. But unfortunately he isnt the first MD to tell me this. I have Ulcerative Colitis. We actually have a foundation (The Crohn's and Colitis Foundation) for this illness. I was first diagnosed with it when I was 17. I found out after a flexible sigmoidoscopy (in the doctor's office..with no sedation....which should be illegal!) and a colonoscopy in one week (which should also be outlawed!!) I also found out that drinking milk and eating lactose saturated foods (which I dearly love) was causing my intestine walls to look like raw hamburger meat. And I found out that not only can I not drink milk, but Im at high risk for colon cancer. Plus both of my grandparents had colon cancer placing me at higher risk. WHOOPEEEE!!
According to the American Cancer Society's website:
Not counting skin cancers, colorectal cancer is the third most common cancer found in men and women in this country. The American Cancer Society estimates that there will be about 108,070 new cases of colon cancer and 40,740 new cases of rectal cancer in 2008 in the United States. Combined, they will cause about 49,960 deaths.
Knowing this, and having had the opportunity to know one of the finest young men on earth named Joe Gordon, who died from colon cancer at the age of 30, I will be seeing Dr. Williams in the morning. Joe had two small children about the same age as my two children. I watched him go from a seemingly healthy looking young man to a man the color of the incredible hulk in less than one year. The colon cancer had spread to his liver and was causing his whole renal system to shut down. Although Joe was my hero and stayed a wisenheimer sweetheart until his death, I do not want to follow in his foot steps. Joe wouldnt want me to follow in his foot steps.
So I am sacrificing my Sunday to cleanse out my temperamental colon. I having been kind of thinking of it like fasting for Lent or something. Ive never done that so I dont even know if I have the right religious holiday or not. But I know that I am given my colon a break from the Monday through Saturday foods that I have consumed. Pete and I had a delicious Ribeye steak last night, with fresh white shoepeg corn on the cob and green beans. PERFECT for a last meal! Good thing there wasnt a firing squad waiting for me in the morning!!
Anyway, think of me tomorrow morning. Say a prayer that the worst thing I may have is a hemorrhoid or two and not any polyps or CANCER. Pray that the Versed they give me works like a charm. And pray that anyone that reads this and needs to have a colonoscopy will get off of their sorry butts (that may need a good cleaning out and colonoscopy) and have one done.
Rectum?? DAMN NEAR KILLED UM!
Ok, Im going into about 26 hours of not having solid food. I have had the pleasure of partaking in chicken broth (Sweet Sue..which is actually tasty), Gatorade, Minty Sweet tea (home brew from my own home grown mint), water, gingerale and banana Popsicles. I have taken 20 tablets the size of a paperclip to cause my bowels to turn inside out and force out any sort of yuck my body has produced as waste. I have been to the bathroom approximately 15 times. I think the chicken broth has passed through without so much as even a slight pause past my stomach.
I am having a COLONOSCOPY tomorrow at 8 AM. I am seeing Dr Williams tomorrow for the procedure. I dont know if I'll ever really see him or if I will be sent to La La Land first. Im sure he will be a gentleman and tell me what he is going to do to me before choosing the large snake like scope he plans to use for my procedure.
He tells me that I need to have one of these every year. I am pretty sceptical about this. I wonder in the back of mind whether I am really just helping to put his kids through school by having a yearly exam. But unfortunately he isnt the first MD to tell me this. I have Ulcerative Colitis. We actually have a foundation (The Crohn's and Colitis Foundation) for this illness. I was first diagnosed with it when I was 17. I found out after a flexible sigmoidoscopy (in the doctor's office..with no sedation....which should be illegal!) and a colonoscopy in one week (which should also be outlawed!!) I also found out that drinking milk and eating lactose saturated foods (which I dearly love) was causing my intestine walls to look like raw hamburger meat. And I found out that not only can I not drink milk, but Im at high risk for colon cancer. Plus both of my grandparents had colon cancer placing me at higher risk. WHOOPEEEE!!
According to the American Cancer Society's website:
Not counting skin cancers, colorectal cancer is the third most common cancer found in men and women in this country. The American Cancer Society estimates that there will be about 108,070 new cases of colon cancer and 40,740 new cases of rectal cancer in 2008 in the United States. Combined, they will cause about 49,960 deaths.
Knowing this, and having had the opportunity to know one of the finest young men on earth named Joe Gordon, who died from colon cancer at the age of 30, I will be seeing Dr. Williams in the morning. Joe had two small children about the same age as my two children. I watched him go from a seemingly healthy looking young man to a man the color of the incredible hulk in less than one year. The colon cancer had spread to his liver and was causing his whole renal system to shut down. Although Joe was my hero and stayed a wisenheimer sweetheart until his death, I do not want to follow in his foot steps. Joe wouldnt want me to follow in his foot steps.
So I am sacrificing my Sunday to cleanse out my temperamental colon. I having been kind of thinking of it like fasting for Lent or something. Ive never done that so I dont even know if I have the right religious holiday or not. But I know that I am given my colon a break from the Monday through Saturday foods that I have consumed. Pete and I had a delicious Ribeye steak last night, with fresh white shoepeg corn on the cob and green beans. PERFECT for a last meal! Good thing there wasnt a firing squad waiting for me in the morning!!
Anyway, think of me tomorrow morning. Say a prayer that the worst thing I may have is a hemorrhoid or two and not any polyps or CANCER. Pray that the Versed they give me works like a charm. And pray that anyone that reads this and needs to have a colonoscopy will get off of their sorry butts (that may need a good cleaning out and colonoscopy) and have one done.
Done Deal
Monday, June 09, 2008
DONE DEAL
If you have not ever had the pleasure of checking out STMH Endoscopy suite, you really should get a look at it....its SWEEEET! It almost makes you forget about whats about to happen to you....well ok maybe not!
So we arrived this AM. I got hooked up. Placed on a heart monitor...thats a first for me when just having a colonoscopy! Nice touch I thought. Then I got sent down to THE ROOM. My doctor was sitting in the corner, no doubt charting up on the last poor soul that had to endure a delightful procedure like mine. She (the previous patient) looked way out of it....then they took my glasses away from me. There could have been large chicken headed people running around there and I wouldnt have been able to see them!
I layed there and my doctor said from across the room HI YA! I was like hi back...cant see you but I hear you! He said something like WHAT you cant think this AM? I said "No, I said I cant see you, I can think clearly." The nurse replied back..."Not in a few minutes, we will take care of that!" Im like...YOU THREATENING ME?? And I knew it would be a losing battle... I heard Dr Hottie singing a line from a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. They were all bantering back and forth about the cost of RHCP concert t-shirts and such. $75 a t-shirt actually. I thought, now thats way too much! But hey, this colonoscopy could pay for his lovely wife to have a t-shirt should she go see them again in concert!
I asked the nurse with the glasses that were red, leaning over my IV...What is your name? She couldnt believe she had been so rude. It was Carolyn. I told her in advance that I just liked to know but I probably wouldnt remember.....HUH! I guess I did! So, she began pushing something into my veins...I asked her to please be gentle, she said..TELL THAT TO THE DOCTOR NOT ME...he is THE ONE.
The ONE. Hmmm, did I mention that the Chaplain came in and prayed with us this AM. He said that he and his wife were from VA. He had a funny accent, like maybe old Irish or something that had been watered down from living in the South for a long time. He was quite pleasant...his name was Mark...WHY CAN I REMEMBER THAT??! He was fascinated with Pete's Jittery Joes hat and mug...yea he is a fan of Joe's....
He said a delightful prayer. I felt very at ease about the whole "procedure." He wanted to know a little about us. When he found out that we lived in Comer he said that that was funny because someone else was there at the same time from the big city of Comer! Bet they didnt blog about theirs though...and they were probably 40 years older than me! Mark, said his goodbye's and left.
Before the door could shut he said "Now if you live in Comer, its not far to drive to Athens, you could come work for us right here, I think they are needing nurses here (in Endo)." He had given my husband a business card. He said to call if I decided to change jobs........HA! Did he not know that I work with the coolest folks in the whole wide world???!! PU LEEEESSSEE!!
Since I could remember everyone's name and such, I can also say that I remember them filling my colon with air. I hurt like no tomorrow. I thought...CHILDBIRTH was worse than this but this HURTS. I remember moaning and groaning for what seemed like an hour....and then it was LIGHTS OUT for me. They dont know I remember that. Too bad I cant remember any conversations or the doctor singing some other brilliant line from a group who sells t-shirts for $75 at concerts!
As I awoke with gas pains ripping through my abdomen.....I vaguely remember the doctor or nurse or the janitor saying something about everything looking great. I had a little redness in my Cecum. Well I had to ask WHERE IS THAT?? Cause the only thing that came to mind was a game of HIDE AND CECUM. Its where the Large intestine connects with the small intestine. Its on the lower right side of the abdomen where I have been having some random pains. Otherwise, my husband told me later, my colitis looks like its in remission!! Praise God! No polyps or anything dangerous looking! I sure am glad!
After leaving the hospital, still in a stupor...I had imagined that I walked out to the car in the parking deck..When I was actually picked up at curb side. I cant remember if I was wheel chaired out or not! DANG!....But we made a stop at Schlotzkys and I got a CINNABON and a DECAF (stinking coffee). Praise the good Lord above for Cinnamon rolls the size of our heads! YUMMY!!
DONE DEAL
If you have not ever had the pleasure of checking out STMH Endoscopy suite, you really should get a look at it....its SWEEEET! It almost makes you forget about whats about to happen to you....well ok maybe not!
So we arrived this AM. I got hooked up. Placed on a heart monitor...thats a first for me when just having a colonoscopy! Nice touch I thought. Then I got sent down to THE ROOM. My doctor was sitting in the corner, no doubt charting up on the last poor soul that had to endure a delightful procedure like mine. She (the previous patient) looked way out of it....then they took my glasses away from me. There could have been large chicken headed people running around there and I wouldnt have been able to see them!
I layed there and my doctor said from across the room HI YA! I was like hi back...cant see you but I hear you! He said something like WHAT you cant think this AM? I said "No, I said I cant see you, I can think clearly." The nurse replied back..."Not in a few minutes, we will take care of that!" Im like...YOU THREATENING ME?? And I knew it would be a losing battle... I heard Dr Hottie singing a line from a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. They were all bantering back and forth about the cost of RHCP concert t-shirts and such. $75 a t-shirt actually. I thought, now thats way too much! But hey, this colonoscopy could pay for his lovely wife to have a t-shirt should she go see them again in concert!
I asked the nurse with the glasses that were red, leaning over my IV...What is your name? She couldnt believe she had been so rude. It was Carolyn. I told her in advance that I just liked to know but I probably wouldnt remember.....HUH! I guess I did! So, she began pushing something into my veins...I asked her to please be gentle, she said..TELL THAT TO THE DOCTOR NOT ME...he is THE ONE.
The ONE. Hmmm, did I mention that the Chaplain came in and prayed with us this AM. He said that he and his wife were from VA. He had a funny accent, like maybe old Irish or something that had been watered down from living in the South for a long time. He was quite pleasant...his name was Mark...WHY CAN I REMEMBER THAT??! He was fascinated with Pete's Jittery Joes hat and mug...yea he is a fan of Joe's....
He said a delightful prayer. I felt very at ease about the whole "procedure." He wanted to know a little about us. When he found out that we lived in Comer he said that that was funny because someone else was there at the same time from the big city of Comer! Bet they didnt blog about theirs though...and they were probably 40 years older than me! Mark, said his goodbye's and left.
Before the door could shut he said "Now if you live in Comer, its not far to drive to Athens, you could come work for us right here, I think they are needing nurses here (in Endo)." He had given my husband a business card. He said to call if I decided to change jobs........HA! Did he not know that I work with the coolest folks in the whole wide world???!! PU LEEEESSSEE!!
Since I could remember everyone's name and such, I can also say that I remember them filling my colon with air. I hurt like no tomorrow. I thought...CHILDBIRTH was worse than this but this HURTS. I remember moaning and groaning for what seemed like an hour....and then it was LIGHTS OUT for me. They dont know I remember that. Too bad I cant remember any conversations or the doctor singing some other brilliant line from a group who sells t-shirts for $75 at concerts!
As I awoke with gas pains ripping through my abdomen.....I vaguely remember the doctor or nurse or the janitor saying something about everything looking great. I had a little redness in my Cecum. Well I had to ask WHERE IS THAT?? Cause the only thing that came to mind was a game of HIDE AND CECUM. Its where the Large intestine connects with the small intestine. Its on the lower right side of the abdomen where I have been having some random pains. Otherwise, my husband told me later, my colitis looks like its in remission!! Praise God! No polyps or anything dangerous looking! I sure am glad!
After leaving the hospital, still in a stupor...I had imagined that I walked out to the car in the parking deck..When I was actually picked up at curb side. I cant remember if I was wheel chaired out or not! DANG!....But we made a stop at Schlotzkys and I got a CINNABON and a DECAF (stinking coffee). Praise the good Lord above for Cinnamon rolls the size of our heads! YUMMY!!
The Last Word
The LAST word
My mom used to say all the time when I was growing up that I really didnt HAVE TO HAVE the LAST WORD. I would talk myself into trouble because I just didnt know how to shut up. First let me say that my oldest child has this very same disorder. And I fear that my second child might have inherited this gene as well, but time will have to tell.
Only until recently...oh say the last 10 years or so did I start taking on a new way of thinking. I do not recall MY mom ever really saying this but I know someone's mom said it at some point in time: If you dont have anything nice to say then just dont say anything at all!! So, I find that because I have been accused of being BRUTALLY HONEST at times, (COLD HEARTED TOO) that I just keep my mouth shut unless I am asked a pointed question. WHEW MAN...then isnt that a trap?!. I try to forewarn people by saying "ARE YOU SURE you really want to KNOW???"
I used to work with a gentleman that suffered from being bi-polar. Unfortunately he had wanted to be promoted to being a sergeant. (Yes I was really in law enforcement. Dont let my sweet, loving nature fool you.I am a stickler for WHATS RIGHT) Now, he had spent about 6 months prior saying that he in no way wanted to be in management because all he was looking forward to in his job was retiring. Well, one dreaded day, this "friend"of ours asked me what I thought about him becoming a supervisor. Well friends, lets just say that he THOUGHT he wanted to "GO THERE" but then could not accept the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth according to Marci. Yea...that didnt go so well. I told him that I thought he was actually pretty flippant about the whole idea and that I did not think that someone should supervise others that does not have our officer's best interest and safety in mind first. His chest puffed up and he called me an "ASSHOLE." WOW...Did I happen to mention that this fella married me and my husband? Yea...That didnt go very well.
Then there has been numerous situations since then. My deputy director said one time that I had a problem communicating with others..I didnt know how to "sugar coat" things very well. But he said that he appreciated my directness. Im really not one of those people that says things to just hurt others. I would rather take a blow than serve one. Being honest is a hard thing to do. Delivering the truth can be very painful. No everyone likes the truth. But I would rather someone be honest and have that sting for a moment than have some one lie to me, serve me a fake smile and follow it with a "bless your heart!" But the "truth" that you serve up better be more than just a weak opinion based on flimsy feelings you may have at the moment. It better be served after much thought on the subject lest you say something that you might regret later and just spat it out in the heat of the moment!
Speaking of truth, as I was riding home from work tonight, I was listening to 90.9 Toccoa Radio just like I always do on the way to my domicile. I need that time to unwind and find a bit of peace after a hectic day. I find great comfort in hearing God's word. And strangely enough, the speaker always seems to be discussing a topic that applies to me in some way.
Tonight, this fella was talking about the MEDIA. He was saying that if we were to tune into our bibles like we tune into the messages that are fed to us from the tv, what a great state of spirituality we would be in. He was bold enough to suggest that we give tv up for one week and actually read a book instead. He said that we dont have to read the Bible but maybe just a book that we might find some benefit in reading. Ive been reading a book by Joyce Meyer. If I wasnt on this dog gone computer right now, I would be reading! :) Anyway, he said that after the first couple of days we might not miss tv much and might not really benefit from fasting from it. However, after about day 4-5 we might start to notice the loss. But imagine the gain we would have if we sat down and read Gods word or some other spiritually stimulating book?! I was very intrigued by the whole concept. I rarely watch tv. Instead, you would likely find me surfing Craigslist or Ebay for some really cool pieces of furniture or clothing. Maybe I might be searching for a job or house for someone else. Or I might be posting little comments here and there on MYSPACE...whatever... Can I go 7 days without EMAIL or MYSPACE?? AND 7 days without CRAIGSLIST?? Holy Toledo!
So anyway the moral of this story is this: Dont come to me unless you want to hear the truth according to me. If you do end up asking my opinion and dont like what I have to say, dont be offended if I write about you in MYSPACE...I will be kind enough to leave your name out....but I HAVE TO HAVE THE LAST WORD! :) Well, ok, maybe not anymore...Ill just go surf Craigslist or actually READ my book!
My mom used to say all the time when I was growing up that I really didnt HAVE TO HAVE the LAST WORD. I would talk myself into trouble because I just didnt know how to shut up. First let me say that my oldest child has this very same disorder. And I fear that my second child might have inherited this gene as well, but time will have to tell.
Only until recently...oh say the last 10 years or so did I start taking on a new way of thinking. I do not recall MY mom ever really saying this but I know someone's mom said it at some point in time: If you dont have anything nice to say then just dont say anything at all!! So, I find that because I have been accused of being BRUTALLY HONEST at times, (COLD HEARTED TOO) that I just keep my mouth shut unless I am asked a pointed question. WHEW MAN...then isnt that a trap?!. I try to forewarn people by saying "ARE YOU SURE you really want to KNOW???"
I used to work with a gentleman that suffered from being bi-polar. Unfortunately he had wanted to be promoted to being a sergeant. (Yes I was really in law enforcement. Dont let my sweet, loving nature fool you.I am a stickler for WHATS RIGHT) Now, he had spent about 6 months prior saying that he in no way wanted to be in management because all he was looking forward to in his job was retiring. Well, one dreaded day, this "friend"of ours asked me what I thought about him becoming a supervisor. Well friends, lets just say that he THOUGHT he wanted to "GO THERE" but then could not accept the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth according to Marci. Yea...that didnt go so well. I told him that I thought he was actually pretty flippant about the whole idea and that I did not think that someone should supervise others that does not have our officer's best interest and safety in mind first. His chest puffed up and he called me an "ASSHOLE." WOW...Did I happen to mention that this fella married me and my husband? Yea...That didnt go very well.
Then there has been numerous situations since then. My deputy director said one time that I had a problem communicating with others..I didnt know how to "sugar coat" things very well. But he said that he appreciated my directness. Im really not one of those people that says things to just hurt others. I would rather take a blow than serve one. Being honest is a hard thing to do. Delivering the truth can be very painful. No everyone likes the truth. But I would rather someone be honest and have that sting for a moment than have some one lie to me, serve me a fake smile and follow it with a "bless your heart!" But the "truth" that you serve up better be more than just a weak opinion based on flimsy feelings you may have at the moment. It better be served after much thought on the subject lest you say something that you might regret later and just spat it out in the heat of the moment!
Speaking of truth, as I was riding home from work tonight, I was listening to 90.9 Toccoa Radio just like I always do on the way to my domicile. I need that time to unwind and find a bit of peace after a hectic day. I find great comfort in hearing God's word. And strangely enough, the speaker always seems to be discussing a topic that applies to me in some way.
Tonight, this fella was talking about the MEDIA. He was saying that if we were to tune into our bibles like we tune into the messages that are fed to us from the tv, what a great state of spirituality we would be in. He was bold enough to suggest that we give tv up for one week and actually read a book instead. He said that we dont have to read the Bible but maybe just a book that we might find some benefit in reading. Ive been reading a book by Joyce Meyer. If I wasnt on this dog gone computer right now, I would be reading! :) Anyway, he said that after the first couple of days we might not miss tv much and might not really benefit from fasting from it. However, after about day 4-5 we might start to notice the loss. But imagine the gain we would have if we sat down and read Gods word or some other spiritually stimulating book?! I was very intrigued by the whole concept. I rarely watch tv. Instead, you would likely find me surfing Craigslist or Ebay for some really cool pieces of furniture or clothing. Maybe I might be searching for a job or house for someone else. Or I might be posting little comments here and there on MYSPACE...whatever... Can I go 7 days without EMAIL or MYSPACE?? AND 7 days without CRAIGSLIST?? Holy Toledo!
So anyway the moral of this story is this: Dont come to me unless you want to hear the truth according to me. If you do end up asking my opinion and dont like what I have to say, dont be offended if I write about you in MYSPACE...I will be kind enough to leave your name out....but I HAVE TO HAVE THE LAST WORD! :) Well, ok, maybe not anymore...Ill just go surf Craigslist or actually READ my book!
Children
Children
Tonight when we walked into the grocery store to stock up on items to carry camping with us, Lyndi let out a gut wrenching scream! Im sure this the main reason that my hearing seems to be going bad here lately! Anyway, EVERYONE at the front of the store turned to look at us! I was suddenly concerned that all of the windows were about to shatter causing harm to innocent shoppers! One of the cashiers said "WOW! I heard that!!" Yea and so did the rest of Madison County. I may have turned pale at that point and began pushing the buggy as quickly as possible around some random corner just to get out of sight!
What??! In the name of creation brought on such a horrible scream??? WHO KNOWS! Lila of course is always a source of anxiety for Lyndi...maybe Lila just looked at her. Maybe Lila touched the grocery cart. Maybe Lyndi is trying out for the position of TORNADO WARNING SYSTEM in our community. Whatever thing caused it....I hope it doesnt ever cause it to happen again.
You know, babies actually lose cute points when they do that! Any action, sound or bodily function that can disrupt brain waves or cause another human's body to contort inwardly or outwardly is definitely not appreciated. Lyndi's deafening scream for one. 2-A child playing in a soiled diaper. 3 A child picking their nose and eating the booger. 4 A child wiping any sort of bodily fluid, mass or otherwise on to another person....so not cute! The list really goes on...you get the idea.
I decided a long time ago..shortly after conception that children really start out as disgusting creatures. The adorable little parasites suck the very life out of their mom's body. Then they are born...and child birth, I dont care what anyone says, is NOT beautiful! Just ask my friend Laurie...Well, never mind! But once those little darlings come into the world, as cute as they are, they produce more poo than any creature on earth. Then there is spit up. Projectile vomiting...amazing! Then the strange interest in and attraction to all things disgusting begins. Who other than a child would walk around outside, pick up a disgusting cigarette butt and put it in their mouth?? Or who else would stick their hand in the cat box over and over and over despite their parents warning to quit or be beaten? Yep...sick little creatures they are!
Ahhh but how cute they are! When those sweet little babies hold on to their Mama and cuddle up....thats just wonderful...who cares they they are wiping their nasty little snotty nose on their Mama's shirt?! Or when they are getting ready to go night night and give you the big ole open mouth kiss where slobber streams from their mouth to yours??! SWEET SUGAR!! Ahhhh
But then there are the moments when the big sister happens to have her hand just a little too close to the baby and then the great big, glass shattering, bone crushing, nerve snapping, eyeball popping, diarrhea inducing, Xanax requiring scream comes out and THEN everyone stops and stares at YOU!!!!!!! Like I can do something about all this??? Please!
Tonight when we walked into the grocery store to stock up on items to carry camping with us, Lyndi let out a gut wrenching scream! Im sure this the main reason that my hearing seems to be going bad here lately! Anyway, EVERYONE at the front of the store turned to look at us! I was suddenly concerned that all of the windows were about to shatter causing harm to innocent shoppers! One of the cashiers said "WOW! I heard that!!" Yea and so did the rest of Madison County. I may have turned pale at that point and began pushing the buggy as quickly as possible around some random corner just to get out of sight!
What??! In the name of creation brought on such a horrible scream??? WHO KNOWS! Lila of course is always a source of anxiety for Lyndi...maybe Lila just looked at her. Maybe Lila touched the grocery cart. Maybe Lyndi is trying out for the position of TORNADO WARNING SYSTEM in our community. Whatever thing caused it....I hope it doesnt ever cause it to happen again.
You know, babies actually lose cute points when they do that! Any action, sound or bodily function that can disrupt brain waves or cause another human's body to contort inwardly or outwardly is definitely not appreciated. Lyndi's deafening scream for one. 2-A child playing in a soiled diaper. 3 A child picking their nose and eating the booger. 4 A child wiping any sort of bodily fluid, mass or otherwise on to another person....so not cute! The list really goes on...you get the idea.
I decided a long time ago..shortly after conception that children really start out as disgusting creatures. The adorable little parasites suck the very life out of their mom's body. Then they are born...and child birth, I dont care what anyone says, is NOT beautiful! Just ask my friend Laurie...Well, never mind! But once those little darlings come into the world, as cute as they are, they produce more poo than any creature on earth. Then there is spit up. Projectile vomiting...amazing! Then the strange interest in and attraction to all things disgusting begins. Who other than a child would walk around outside, pick up a disgusting cigarette butt and put it in their mouth?? Or who else would stick their hand in the cat box over and over and over despite their parents warning to quit or be beaten? Yep...sick little creatures they are!
Ahhh but how cute they are! When those sweet little babies hold on to their Mama and cuddle up....thats just wonderful...who cares they they are wiping their nasty little snotty nose on their Mama's shirt?! Or when they are getting ready to go night night and give you the big ole open mouth kiss where slobber streams from their mouth to yours??! SWEET SUGAR!! Ahhhh
But then there are the moments when the big sister happens to have her hand just a little too close to the baby and then the great big, glass shattering, bone crushing, nerve snapping, eyeball popping, diarrhea inducing, Xanax requiring scream comes out and THEN everyone stops and stares at YOU!!!!!!! Like I can do something about all this??? Please!
My Butt Has Dropped *Myspace Blog*
Recently Pete and I bought a fancy new scale for the house. Its a fancy scale. Its stainless steel and gray. It has a digital display. And we paid just under $40 for it. It has a memory for up to 4 or so people so we can track our individuals weights. I guess since we dont have 4 big people in the house, we can use number 3 and 4 for weighing our fat cats.
As we were standing in the *NEW* Wally World in Augusta that is the size of UGA's football field, looking at our scale options, there was another young lady trying to decide on which one of these contraptions was going to blow her self image every morning. Im sure she thought as she was standing there next to Slim and Slimmer, "WHY IN THE WORLD MUST SKINNY PEOPLE OBSESS ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT??" I know it all seems nuts. But this new scale that we have not only tells us when we weigh too much but also can tell us our true body fat percentage. Yep! As if true weight isnt enough, I just HAD to know that I am actually made up of 25% fat. Thats pure lard....Crisco hardened! But at least its all displayed in fancy stainless and digital print not some cheap mocking little red arm that swings around a dial that bounces back and forth between 3 or 4 numbers before it settles on some where in the middle instead of on the lighter side...
So I put on my shirt this morning and I realized that my butt is dropping down my back side. Im sure this is what is really going on. Everytime I put a shirt on that I own, I find that more and more of my back side and stomach are showing. I know it couldnt be because the shirt is shrinking. Clothing manufacturers surely arent using cheap fabrics and charging high prices for the lastest fasions are they?? It has to be that my butt is falling off. I do work my butt off at work 3 days a week! But how about when I bend ever so slightly at the waist, I swear that my shirt comes up to my bra strap in the back!! Or when I stand up straight I have to constantly pull my shirt down in the front and back.
Dont get me wrong, I realize that jeans have gotten ever so much shorter in the waist. Remember when womens jeans came up ABOVE our belly buttons, strangling our "true waistlines" to death?? Or if you got jeans to fit in the waist that it would either bag in the seat of the pants or be so tight in the hips that you couldnt move?? Or better yet for someone like me that has very little hippage that I always had puckers on the side of my pants where manfacturers were trying to accomodate ladies with hips and I had a big swoop out on the side that I knew I could never fill! I had to buy mens jeans so those awful pants wouldnt be able to mock my boyish figure!! Of course this is all pre-Lila and Lyndi. Now I have a slight curve to my hips...and love handles that continue the curve up under my rib cage! Thank goodness I dont have to pull those "true waist" jeans up over that! Now my fat roll falls over the top of my low rise jeans nicely to form what I have now come to know as a "muffin top." How sweet huh?
So how does that happen anyway? How do shirts shrink that much? I guess if anyone can solve that mystery, they might also be able to answer the question of where our socks really disappear off to after having their spin in the washer?! If you do find out, can you please let me know! I am really tired of having to sort through my clothes every year and take load after load to GoodWill to donate! Some where in this world are a bunch of really short torsoed folks that are all wearing my hand me down shirts becuase my butt is falling down my back side!
As we were standing in the *NEW* Wally World in Augusta that is the size of UGA's football field, looking at our scale options, there was another young lady trying to decide on which one of these contraptions was going to blow her self image every morning. Im sure she thought as she was standing there next to Slim and Slimmer, "WHY IN THE WORLD MUST SKINNY PEOPLE OBSESS ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT??" I know it all seems nuts. But this new scale that we have not only tells us when we weigh too much but also can tell us our true body fat percentage. Yep! As if true weight isnt enough, I just HAD to know that I am actually made up of 25% fat. Thats pure lard....Crisco hardened! But at least its all displayed in fancy stainless and digital print not some cheap mocking little red arm that swings around a dial that bounces back and forth between 3 or 4 numbers before it settles on some where in the middle instead of on the lighter side...
So I put on my shirt this morning and I realized that my butt is dropping down my back side. Im sure this is what is really going on. Everytime I put a shirt on that I own, I find that more and more of my back side and stomach are showing. I know it couldnt be because the shirt is shrinking. Clothing manufacturers surely arent using cheap fabrics and charging high prices for the lastest fasions are they?? It has to be that my butt is falling off. I do work my butt off at work 3 days a week! But how about when I bend ever so slightly at the waist, I swear that my shirt comes up to my bra strap in the back!! Or when I stand up straight I have to constantly pull my shirt down in the front and back.
Dont get me wrong, I realize that jeans have gotten ever so much shorter in the waist. Remember when womens jeans came up ABOVE our belly buttons, strangling our "true waistlines" to death?? Or if you got jeans to fit in the waist that it would either bag in the seat of the pants or be so tight in the hips that you couldnt move?? Or better yet for someone like me that has very little hippage that I always had puckers on the side of my pants where manfacturers were trying to accomodate ladies with hips and I had a big swoop out on the side that I knew I could never fill! I had to buy mens jeans so those awful pants wouldnt be able to mock my boyish figure!! Of course this is all pre-Lila and Lyndi. Now I have a slight curve to my hips...and love handles that continue the curve up under my rib cage! Thank goodness I dont have to pull those "true waist" jeans up over that! Now my fat roll falls over the top of my low rise jeans nicely to form what I have now come to know as a "muffin top." How sweet huh?
So how does that happen anyway? How do shirts shrink that much? I guess if anyone can solve that mystery, they might also be able to answer the question of where our socks really disappear off to after having their spin in the washer?! If you do find out, can you please let me know! I am really tired of having to sort through my clothes every year and take load after load to GoodWill to donate! Some where in this world are a bunch of really short torsoed folks that are all wearing my hand me down shirts becuase my butt is falling down my back side!
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Something funny is going on here
Ok, I dont know whats going on around here, I am beginning to believe that someone...and I wont point any fingers...BUT someone around here has wired my toilet seat! Yes, and here is what I mean...
As soon as my butt begins to grace the top of my porcelin throne.....MY PHONE RINGS! Its happened twice today already!!! When I was a teenager, I probably would have forced my bladder to expell all of its contents at an unprecidented rate..but now...that aint happenin...nope...not since call ID came out will I do that! Besides, now if I came rushing out of the bathroom at lightening speed, I probably would clip my pinky toe on some peice of furniture and cause great harm to myself...its just not worth it anymore!!
Something funny is going on here
Ok, I dont know whats going on around here, I am beginning to believe that someone...and I wont point any fingers...BUT someone around here has wired my toilet seat! Yes, and here is what I mean...
As soon as my butt begins to grace the top of my porcelin throne.....MY PHONE RINGS! Its happened twice today already!!! When I was a teenager, I probably would have forced my bladder to expell all of its contents at an unprecidented rate..but now...that aint happenin...nope...not since call ID came out will I do that! Besides, now if I came rushing out of the bathroom at lightening speed, I probably would clip my pinky toe on some peice of furniture and cause great harm to myself...its just not worth it anymore!!
Rosemary
For anyone that relates to scents like I do, I want to recommend planting Rosemary. When we lived in our old house in Milledgeville, I had planted a little spring no taller than 5 inches beside our porch. We lived in
our house for about 6 years. When we moved that bush was about 4 feet tall and 3 feet wide. An accidental brush against the bush filled the air with a lovely woodsy, herbal scent. So, when we moved to our new home I quickly planted 3 sprigs of Rosemary in the ground. They are now over a foot tall and wide. Today while it rained and we sat out on the side porch, the rain hitting the bushes released that beautiful Rosemary scent into the air. Sitting out on the porch,watching the rain and smelling the Rosemary could not have been a more pleasant experience.
Rosemary Rosmarinus officinalis
Rosemary Rosmarinus officinalis
MEDICINAL: Rosemary is a stimulant of the circulatory system. It is used to treat bites and stings externally. Internally it is used to treat migraines, bad breath, and to stimulate the sexual organs. It is also used to treat nervous disorders, upset stomachs, and is used to regulate the menstrual cycle and to ease cramps. Mix the crushed leaves generously into meats, fish, potato salads, etc. at your next picnic to prevent food poisoning. The essential oil is used in aromatherapy as an inhalant and decongestant, and to enhance memory and clear concentration. It is also used in lotions to ease arthritis.
GROWING: Rosemary is a perennial that prefers mild climates, so it needs to be grown indoors where the winters are harsh, or very heavily mulched. It reaches 2 to 4 feet in height, and is tolerable of poor soils. Cut back after flowering to keep it from becoming leggy.
Rain
Let me just say that yesterday, I was so bored that I started to feel irritable toward Pete for making me stay home and do NOTHING. If you know me, you know that I have an active spirit that wants to get OUT and DO SOMETHING.
Explain this one to me....
We went to church this morning, and when we got home, much to our delight the wind picked up, the trees began to sway like there was a good tune on and the rain began to fall. We sat out on our side porch for the longest time watching the rain. Then we came in and sat in the living room with the blinds open and no lights on. I opened a window so we could have a double delight; the sound of the rain falling on the roof and outside on the ground. It was so relaxing. Pete kicked back in the recliner, Lila snuggled under a blanket on the loveseat and I commanded the couch. Lila couldn't understand what we were "doing". We were doing NOTHING. Lyndi was already in her bed asleep. We followed her example and cat napped in the livngroom! It had to have rained nearly an hour.
While I was laying there on the couch weakly fighting sleep, I told Pete that it reminded me of being at my Great Aunt Hattie's house in the Tennessee mountains. She lived in an old white farm house with a tin roof, located at the foot of a mountain. On the side of the mountain was a water fall that began in a deep, dark cave half way up the side of the mountain and wound its way down through a rocky creek bed. It was heavenly simple. We used to have family reunions at her house.
I remember being in Aunt Hatties house. It always smelled of something cooking. I think that the smell of homemade bisquits and sausage cooking was ingrained in the walls. I remember the smell of her bathroom. It always smelled of Ivory soap. Its clean white richness permeated the air in there. And if you turned on the faucet, the water that came through those metal pipes was cold enough to freeze your hands or hot of enough to burn. That was a home. I remember my Granny and my Aunt talking in the kitchen while they prepared lunch. They laughed about anything and everything.
Those memories were like taking a sleep tonic and I drifted off to sleep. The rain slowed to a drip, drip, drip....
Now why had I been so bored the day before and felt as though I had wasted the day? And today, I got lulled off to sleep and feel blessed for not having anything to do! Poor Pete!
Explain this one to me....
We went to church this morning, and when we got home, much to our delight the wind picked up, the trees began to sway like there was a good tune on and the rain began to fall. We sat out on our side porch for the longest time watching the rain. Then we came in and sat in the living room with the blinds open and no lights on. I opened a window so we could have a double delight; the sound of the rain falling on the roof and outside on the ground. It was so relaxing. Pete kicked back in the recliner, Lila snuggled under a blanket on the loveseat and I commanded the couch. Lila couldn't understand what we were "doing". We were doing NOTHING. Lyndi was already in her bed asleep. We followed her example and cat napped in the livngroom! It had to have rained nearly an hour.
While I was laying there on the couch weakly fighting sleep, I told Pete that it reminded me of being at my Great Aunt Hattie's house in the Tennessee mountains. She lived in an old white farm house with a tin roof, located at the foot of a mountain. On the side of the mountain was a water fall that began in a deep, dark cave half way up the side of the mountain and wound its way down through a rocky creek bed. It was heavenly simple. We used to have family reunions at her house.
I remember being in Aunt Hatties house. It always smelled of something cooking. I think that the smell of homemade bisquits and sausage cooking was ingrained in the walls. I remember the smell of her bathroom. It always smelled of Ivory soap. Its clean white richness permeated the air in there. And if you turned on the faucet, the water that came through those metal pipes was cold enough to freeze your hands or hot of enough to burn. That was a home. I remember my Granny and my Aunt talking in the kitchen while they prepared lunch. They laughed about anything and everything.
Those memories were like taking a sleep tonic and I drifted off to sleep. The rain slowed to a drip, drip, drip....
Now why had I been so bored the day before and felt as though I had wasted the day? And today, I got lulled off to sleep and feel blessed for not having anything to do! Poor Pete!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)