Kids scare me

Tonight at Church we semi-started AWANA, a children's ministry. Well, Ill just go ahead and be honest that we were GUILTED into it! If you are members of a church, you probably know that there is always a shortage of teachers for children. Which, I am told this is a good thing because it means that our church is growing and so there is a demand for more teachers. And the pastor's wife Lynn told me that it wasnt guilt, it was the Holy Spirit.......hmmmmm Those sneaky Pastor's wives....tricky...
This evening we were to stand in and observe "our" children and see what its like working with this bunch. I learned a few things after this experience. 1: Children scare me to death! 2: I will need to bring ear plugs and a bull horn. 3: Elementary school teachers have nerves of steel and they have the coolest tricks to make kids obey. 4: All children want to be loved...even if its by someone they dont know....like me.
I was standing in the doorway watching total controlled chaos. These kids were having a great time playing silly games. Afterwards, all the kids were divided into groups and our pastor was talking to them about the importance of church and learning about God. This little girl that was FOUR years old (she held up her 4 little fingers for emphasis) sat down at my feet and began staring at me. And I really wasnt sure why......
My whole life, I have never been one of those people that kids are drawn to. I think they are like wolves and can sense fear. And I always feltl like I just dont know what to do with them. As a young child I experienced a bit of trauma that caused me to have to grow up much too quickly. I had to learn the hard way about life. Plus, I spent a lot of time around adults. I never once went to camp. I had to spend my summers at the hair salon where my mom worked. We just didnt have a lot back then.
So this little girl...who is the tiniest, cutest little creature...pulled on my pants leg. She looked up at me with big eyes...I thought maybe she needed to go to the bathroom!! Instead she said, "would you sit with me?" WHAT?! You want ME to sit with YOU?!!! Dont you sense my fear? Dont you know that kids make me really nervous (I had to take 2 Zantac after we got started with the kids tonight!!!).
So, I squatted down, knees popping, moaning and groaning from the pressure....and I sat on the floor! This little girl came and piled into my lap. And I cant for the life of me figure out why she wanted to sit with ME!
I have two children. I know they love me and I love them dearly. I can play and laugh with them. I can correct them when I need to. But I gave birth to them. Im the only Mama they know...so they dont know if they are missing out on a really cool mom or not. If all you know is a mean old hag of a mom, you are still going to love her because she is YOUR mom!! Despite the fact that Lila thinks Im the worstest mom ever when I dont let her always have her way.......Lila loves me and thinks Im all right! Lyndi WUVs me too!
This little girl...she doesnt know me from Adams house cat. This sweet little child just wanted to have a little love and attention. She leaned back against me like I was an overstuffed Lazy Boy recliner! So for about 5-10 minutes, I let down my guard, dewrinkled my forehead and the space between my eyebrows and I let this little angel sit in my lap.
Now the other part to this story is that when Lila spotted this strange little girl invading HER MAMAs space.....she quick stepped it over to my side and grabbed on to my arm. She wanted to make sure that Mama wasnt going to all of the sudden decide to give away Lila's allotment of love......that cant happen and wont ever happen! But little Miss Jealous just wanted to make sure! If Lyndi had been around, I bet she would have been on me like Saran Wrap too!
Its great being loved isnt it?
Pastor Rodney asked at the end of our meeting if any of us were ready to quit.......the memory of all the screaming and chaos passed through my mind....................
But then the thought of that sweet little girl who doesnt know me, doesnt know that I dont like lima beans, doesnt know that I am grouchy sometimes, doesnt know that I dont like balloons inside of cars....she wanted to sit on MY Lap!
Yea...Ill be back...Ill just take my two Zantac (dont you hate acid reflux??!!) and keep some Tylenol handy....just in case!!!!