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This morning at Church Pastor Rodney was preaching from the book of Haggai. The basic idea of the entire book is that God wanted his people to build a temple for him but the people were too busy being sinners to much care what God wanted. So God essentially allowed them to be plagued with drought and famine. He didn't "have their back" anymore. But these people were totally immoral and lacked faith in God.
Anyway, Pastor Rodney made a point today that stuck with me. So YES I do pay close attention in Church! He motioned to the big projection screens at the front of the church. He said that when Judgement day comes, how will we feel to have our entire life shown up on those big screens. All of our sins will be shone up on the big screen! But then all of our good deeds and faithfulness will be shown too. But he said that he didn't think that when our sins are shown up on that screen that any of our fellow Christians will be able to watch for fear that their life's sins may be shone next.
I sat there in that pew (in the second row) and looked up at those screens. And I thought..."What kind of person have I been all my life?" I'm a pretty good person. I don't lie, cheat and steal. Ive never killed anyone. Ok I do say the occasional cuss word. Well and I do get angry. Ok and I do feel bitterness from time to time (just read my previous blog). I probably haven't listened when God has told me to do something or say something...out of fear or not knowing if God was talking to me.
But I was only thinking of NOW...what about in my 20's? What about in my teens? What about the thoughts I have after talking to difficult people? What about the feelings I have had about being a step parent? What about the resentment I have felt over the last several years? What about having been married and divorced before? What about how Ive disrespected God and my own temple (my body) in the past?
When God tells us not to judge others...and in the story about the adulteress or the prostitute being stoned, "He who is without sin may cast the first stone..." Well, I wouldn't so much as be able to pick up a grain of sand to hurl at anyone! I don't know that I am worthy of blowing on a speck of dust.
Imagine the shame and guilt that the believer will feel standing in front of God. Just think of how eager we will feel wanting to get to the good deeds part of the slide show! But then for the GRAND FINALE...how we will feel when God says---- "NOT GUILTY!!!!" and still give us our rewards for trusting and believing in him! I bet that first part will FEEL like it takes an eternity!! But then we will get the reward of living the eternal, sin free life.
Which reminds me, the other day I was talking to a patient's family member about his son who had been killed in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. Naturally he missed his son. He later said that he guessed that it was better to be alive than the alternative. I think this is faulty thinking. I hear people say all the time that they think its better to be alive than be six feet under. I think that they are limiting their thought processes. We are thinking of our Earthly bodies only and not thinking about our eternal Heavenly bodies. I don't think that its wrong to think about dying as being a blessing. I'm not saying that we should all rush out and try to kill ourselves so we can go to Heaven. I'm just saying that YES we should thank God every day for the blessings that he has bestowed upon us here on Earth. We have so much to be thankful for. But if thinking about a life in Heaven with our Father, being with our loved ones, peace, no sickness and no sin.....what could be more wonderful? Fortunately for this man, he is a believer in Christ. His son was too! He knows he will see his son again!
A dear friend of mine called me one night and he said "Marci, I was just thinking about how ready I am to go home." I had to say, "ME TOO!" He is only 35 just like me. Who knows, we may have 50 more years on this Earth to think about what it will be like when we finally do make it home. So for now we will be grateful. But one day, we will go home. We will have peace. We will have happiness unlike anything we have ever known on this Earth. And for anyone that has children and knows that unbelievable love that you feel for them...just imagine that in such an unconditional state and magnified...that is the kind of love we will know. That's just too great to even grasp a good hold on.