My Butt Has Dropped *Myspace Blog*

Recently Pete and I bought a fancy new scale for the house. Its a fancy scale. Its stainless steel and gray. It has a digital display. And we paid just under $40 for it. It has a memory for up to 4 or so people so we can track our individuals weights. I guess since we dont have 4 big people in the house, we can use number 3 and 4 for weighing our fat cats.
As we were standing in the *NEW* Wally World in Augusta that is the size of UGA's football field, looking at our scale options, there was another young lady trying to decide on which one of these contraptions was going to blow her self image every morning. Im sure she thought as she was standing there next to Slim and Slimmer, "WHY IN THE WORLD MUST SKINNY PEOPLE OBSESS ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT??" I know it all seems nuts. But this new scale that we have not only tells us when we weigh too much but also can tell us our true body fat percentage. Yep! As if true weight isnt enough, I just HAD to know that I am actually made up of 25% fat. Thats pure lard....Crisco hardened! But at least its all displayed in fancy stainless and digital print not some cheap mocking little red arm that swings around a dial that bounces back and forth between 3 or 4 numbers before it settles on some where in the middle instead of on the lighter side...
So I put on my shirt this morning and I realized that my butt is dropping down my back side. Im sure this is what is really going on. Everytime I put a shirt on that I own, I find that more and more of my back side and stomach are showing. I know it couldnt be because the shirt is shrinking. Clothing manufacturers surely arent using cheap fabrics and charging high prices for the lastest fasions are they?? It has to be that my butt is falling off. I do work my butt off at work 3 days a week! But how about when I bend ever so slightly at the waist, I swear that my shirt comes up to my bra strap in the back!! Or when I stand up straight I have to constantly pull my shirt down in the front and back.
Dont get me wrong, I realize that jeans have gotten ever so much shorter in the waist. Remember when womens jeans came up ABOVE our belly buttons, strangling our "true waistlines" to death?? Or if you got jeans to fit in the waist that it would either bag in the seat of the pants or be so tight in the hips that you couldnt move?? Or better yet for someone like me that has very little hippage that I always had puckers on the side of my pants where manfacturers were trying to accomodate ladies with hips and I had a big swoop out on the side that I knew I could never fill! I had to buy mens jeans so those awful pants wouldnt be able to mock my boyish figure!! Of course this is all pre-Lila and Lyndi. Now I have a slight curve to my hips...and love handles that continue the curve up under my rib cage! Thank goodness I dont have to pull those "true waist" jeans up over that! Now my fat roll falls over the top of my low rise jeans nicely to form what I have now come to know as a "muffin top." How sweet huh?
So how does that happen anyway? How do shirts shrink that much? I guess if anyone can solve that mystery, they might also be able to answer the question of where our socks really disappear off to after having their spin in the washer?! If you do find out, can you please let me know! I am really tired of having to sort through my clothes every year and take load after load to GoodWill to donate! Some where in this world are a bunch of really short torsoed folks that are all wearing my hand me down shirts becuase my butt is falling down my back side!