Rectum?? DAMN NEAR KILLED UM!

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Rectum?? DAMN NEAR KILLED UM!
Ok, Im going into about 26 hours of not having solid food. I have had the pleasure of partaking in chicken broth (Sweet Sue..which is actually tasty), Gatorade, Minty Sweet tea (home brew from my own home grown mint), water, gingerale and banana Popsicles. I have taken 20 tablets the size of a paperclip to cause my bowels to turn inside out and force out any sort of yuck my body has produced as waste. I have been to the bathroom approximately 15 times. I think the chicken broth has passed through without so much as even a slight pause past my stomach.
I am having a COLONOSCOPY tomorrow at 8 AM. I am seeing Dr Williams tomorrow for the procedure. I dont know if I'll ever really see him or if I will be sent to La La Land first. Im sure he will be a gentleman and tell me what he is going to do to me before choosing the large snake like scope he plans to use for my procedure.
He tells me that I need to have one of these every year. I am pretty sceptical about this. I wonder in the back of mind whether I am really just helping to put his kids through school by having a yearly exam. But unfortunately he isnt the first MD to tell me this. I have Ulcerative Colitis. We actually have a foundation (The Crohn's and Colitis Foundation) for this illness. I was first diagnosed with it when I was 17. I found out after a flexible sigmoidoscopy (in the doctor's office..with no sedation....which should be illegal!) and a colonoscopy in one week (which should also be outlawed!!) I also found out that drinking milk and eating lactose saturated foods (which I dearly love) was causing my intestine walls to look like raw hamburger meat. And I found out that not only can I not drink milk, but Im at high risk for colon cancer. Plus both of my grandparents had colon cancer placing me at higher risk. WHOOPEEEE!!
According to the American Cancer Society's website:
Not counting skin cancers, colorectal cancer is the third most common cancer found in men and women in this country. The American Cancer Society estimates that there will be about 108,070 new cases of colon cancer and 40,740 new cases of rectal cancer in 2008 in the United States. Combined, they will cause about 49,960 deaths.
Knowing this, and having had the opportunity to know one of the finest young men on earth named Joe Gordon, who died from colon cancer at the age of 30, I will be seeing Dr. Williams in the morning. Joe had two small children about the same age as my two children. I watched him go from a seemingly healthy looking young man to a man the color of the incredible hulk in less than one year. The colon cancer had spread to his liver and was causing his whole renal system to shut down. Although Joe was my hero and stayed a wisenheimer sweetheart until his death, I do not want to follow in his foot steps. Joe wouldnt want me to follow in his foot steps.
So I am sacrificing my Sunday to cleanse out my temperamental colon. I having been kind of thinking of it like fasting for Lent or something. Ive never done that so I dont even know if I have the right religious holiday or not. But I know that I am given my colon a break from the Monday through Saturday foods that I have consumed. Pete and I had a delicious Ribeye steak last night, with fresh white shoepeg corn on the cob and green beans. PERFECT for a last meal! Good thing there wasnt a firing squad waiting for me in the morning!!
Anyway, think of me tomorrow morning. Say a prayer that the worst thing I may have is a hemorrhoid or two and not any polyps or CANCER. Pray that the Versed they give me works like a charm. And pray that anyone that reads this and needs to have a colonoscopy will get off of their sorry butts (that may need a good cleaning out and colonoscopy) and have one done.