Turnip trucks and such

In one of my previous blogs I mentioned how much I love Southerisms and the South in general. It put me in mind of a funny story...funny to me now....funny to you??? WHo KNOWS! Funny to the guys we arrested...ummm not so much!

One night I was out on patrol with a new officer to our police department. I would fully hesitate to call him a "trainee" in the sense that he was already fully trained since we got him from the Sheriff's department. In fact, I would venture to say that he knew a lot more about running traffic and law enforcement than I did. But thats not really relevant to my story.....

So Tony and I were on patrol one night on midnight shift. We were just riding around downtown where I used to live "just lookin for trouble." Im sure it was probably a Thursday night which was the BIG partying night in the small college town that we lived in. Anyone that has ever lived in Milledgeville has probably been to the Opera House or the Brick on a Thursday night. I currently work with a guy that had a friend that lived in Milledgeville, that freely admitted to me that he got buck wild at the Opera House during a visit. Im not sure what the draw is...but it is what it is! So anyway, back to being on patrol....

Tony and I were quite bored. Tony was driving and eagle eyeing all vehicles in our vicinity. He was looking for expired tags, weaving, running red lights and yea, maybe even a tail light out. Now I would NEVER write someone a ticket for having a tail light out but it is a good conversation starter with drunks.

As I was gazing out the window thinking how exciting it is to live in a small college town, Tony throws on the lights and sirens and begins calling out the tag of a car about half a block ahead of us. As soon as he turned on the lights and sirens, the fellow and his passenger decided that the "pretty lights" were a signal to speed up and drive erratically!

Tony pressed the gas a little harder. The engine of the patrol car groaned. Off we went! I thought that we were about to initiate a chase! Suddenly a baggy went sailing out of the window of the car! Im sure the bag contained Oregano! No one ever wants to be caught dead with that culinary object in their possession. I havent been able to figure that one out!

Tony got right up on the bumper of the car and hit his air horn! The driver whooped the car into the parking lot of a funeral home! Thus, ending our "chase" prematurely!! DARN IT! The driver side door flings open and the driver begins to try to run. As we WHOOPED into the parking lot, I see that the passenger is about to run so I decided that I was not going to let a culinary expert such as one of these boys go without a good pat on the back! Tony slams the car into park and grabs the driver! I brought the passenger over to where Tony was handcuffing his driver. This college age boy was trying to throw us off his trail and did not want to reveal to us PO POs the fact that he and Rachel Ray had a lot in common!

Tony asked him what he had thrown out the window of his car. The boy said that he just threw out some trash. Tony asked him again what he had thrown out the window. Same answer. Tony began shining his high powered MAG flashlight at the boy and began to laugh! He said "BOOOOYYYYY Do you THINK that I JUST FELL OFF THE TURNIP TRUCK LAST NIGHT????" (This was the first and only time I have ever heard this expression!) The boy looked at Tony with a dumb expression....a dumb GUILTY expression!

When the boy and his passenger had decided that getting caught with said baggy full of the green leafy substance that we will assume was oregano, might not be a good thing....they came up with the idea that they should kindly dispose of their refuse in the middle of the road! So, the $400 littering fine would be a good alternative to the possession charge for marijuana that they could have faced....RIGHT?????

After having placed my detainee in the back of the patrol car....for HIS safety, I went and recovered said baggy and did discover this baggy had plenty of sprigs (of Oregano) still present in the bag. The boy BOLDLY declared that that was NOT his!!! But when Tony had shown his flashlight on the heads of this BOOOOYYYYY, we were able to clearly see that while tossing this baggy out the window, the wind caught the baggy and BLEW its contents back on the driver and the passenger and sprayed its contents in their hair, on their faces and all over the interior of the car!!!! HARRRRDEEEEHAARRRRHARRRR