Done Deal

Monday, June 09, 2008
DONE DEAL
If you have not ever had the pleasure of checking out STMH Endoscopy suite, you really should get a look at it....its SWEEEET! It almost makes you forget about whats about to happen to you....well ok maybe not!
So we arrived this AM. I got hooked up. Placed on a heart monitor...thats a first for me when just having a colonoscopy! Nice touch I thought. Then I got sent down to THE ROOM. My doctor was sitting in the corner, no doubt charting up on the last poor soul that had to endure a delightful procedure like mine. She (the previous patient) looked way out of it....then they took my glasses away from me. There could have been large chicken headed people running around there and I wouldnt have been able to see them!
I layed there and my doctor said from across the room HI YA! I was like hi back...cant see you but I hear you! He said something like WHAT you cant think this AM? I said "No, I said I cant see you, I can think clearly." The nurse replied back..."Not in a few minutes, we will take care of that!" Im like...YOU THREATENING ME?? And I knew it would be a losing battle... I heard Dr Hottie singing a line from a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. They were all bantering back and forth about the cost of RHCP concert t-shirts and such. $75 a t-shirt actually. I thought, now thats way too much! But hey, this colonoscopy could pay for his lovely wife to have a t-shirt should she go see them again in concert!
I asked the nurse with the glasses that were red, leaning over my IV...What is your name? She couldnt believe she had been so rude. It was Carolyn. I told her in advance that I just liked to know but I probably wouldnt remember.....HUH! I guess I did! So, she began pushing something into my veins...I asked her to please be gentle, she said..TELL THAT TO THE DOCTOR NOT ME...he is THE ONE.
The ONE. Hmmm, did I mention that the Chaplain came in and prayed with us this AM. He said that he and his wife were from VA. He had a funny accent, like maybe old Irish or something that had been watered down from living in the South for a long time. He was quite pleasant...his name was Mark...WHY CAN I REMEMBER THAT??! He was fascinated with Pete's Jittery Joes hat and mug...yea he is a fan of Joe's....
He said a delightful prayer. I felt very at ease about the whole "procedure." He wanted to know a little about us. When he found out that we lived in Comer he said that that was funny because someone else was there at the same time from the big city of Comer! Bet they didnt blog about theirs though...and they were probably 40 years older than me! Mark, said his goodbye's and left.
Before the door could shut he said "Now if you live in Comer, its not far to drive to Athens, you could come work for us right here, I think they are needing nurses here (in Endo)." He had given my husband a business card. He said to call if I decided to change jobs........HA! Did he not know that I work with the coolest folks in the whole wide world???!! PU LEEEESSSEE!!
Since I could remember everyone's name and such, I can also say that I remember them filling my colon with air. I hurt like no tomorrow. I thought...CHILDBIRTH was worse than this but this HURTS. I remember moaning and groaning for what seemed like an hour....and then it was LIGHTS OUT for me. They dont know I remember that. Too bad I cant remember any conversations or the doctor singing some other brilliant line from a group who sells t-shirts for $75 at concerts!
As I awoke with gas pains ripping through my abdomen.....I vaguely remember the doctor or nurse or the janitor saying something about everything looking great. I had a little redness in my Cecum. Well I had to ask WHERE IS THAT?? Cause the only thing that came to mind was a game of HIDE AND CECUM. Its where the Large intestine connects with the small intestine. Its on the lower right side of the abdomen where I have been having some random pains. Otherwise, my husband told me later, my colitis looks like its in remission!! Praise God! No polyps or anything dangerous looking! I sure am glad!
After leaving the hospital, still in a stupor...I had imagined that I walked out to the car in the parking deck..When I was actually picked up at curb side. I cant remember if I was wheel chaired out or not! DANG!....But we made a stop at Schlotzkys and I got a CINNABON and a DECAF (stinking coffee). Praise the good Lord above for Cinnamon rolls the size of our heads! YUMMY!!